u/Throwawayputtyfairy

Edit: Apologies for the "isle"! I am aware it is in fact "aisle", I was too tired to English properly last night 😄

I'm getting married very soon to my wonderful fiance. We are getting married in my Scandinavian home country (he is from the Netherlands) in the garden of a farm type of property in a rural area. The "aisle" walk will be a little bit unusual, I'll have to come out from behind a small building and then walk 50 meters across grass to get to where people are seated, and then walk in between the chairs in the "aisle". There will be fewer than 50 guests attending.

I'm wondering, should the song I've chosen play as soon as I'm visible 50 meters away, or should we wait until I'm actually at the start of the "aisle" bit?

Also, in my culture there are 3 ways to walk down the aisle that are all considered normal. Which option sounds best in my scenario?

1. Walk with father or grandfather of the bride
2. Walk with groom
3. Walk alone

I have no idea what I want!
I am a bit iffy about the "father giving away his daughter" bit, it doesn't quite sit right with me, I am not property.
For added context, my father and I have a mostly good relationship, though never been emotionally close. He tries his best to make up for my awful childhood (mother was cruel) and is generally very supportive of me. My two most recently married friends both walked with their dads, so it's a totally common thing to do.

I also don't actually know if it's something he would want to do, he told me as soon as I gave him our wedding invitation that he would absolutely not be doing a speech. I don't want to ask him unless I'm certain I want to do it though.

I could possibly walk with my fiance, though I'm not sure he's super keen on doing that, I think he would prefer to stand at the front and wait. But we haven't discussed this particular thing much so I'm not 100% sure. I am slightly leaning this way, we have lived together for almost 5 years now and it's a continuation of our relationship, not a brand new one/not a case of moving in together after the wedding. My cousin did this when they got married and I quite liked it.

I could also walk alone, but that feels a bit scary to me, even though I know all the guests and there's not many of them either. I worry I might trip or something, and it's also scary to have all that attention on me alone, I'm very shy.

Hi there.
TLDR:
My 12yo child is an extremely noisy eater, slurping, smacking and biting on their fork every mouthful. It is a sensory nightmare for everyone around and child says it's too hard to change/don't notice they're doing it. What do I do?

I'm likely/suspecting autistic after half an assessment, adhd assessment and 2 psychologists being pretty certain of it. My child is 12 and I suspect they are also autistic and adhdh. Both "level 1" I believe, no learning disabilities anywhere. My child is absolutely wonderful, sensitive, kind, intelligent, friendly, a really lovely little person.

I do however have a bit of a problem with my child, that I have been trying to help them with for years now with no success - maybe I need a different approach, which is why I'm coming here.

They are an extremely noisy eater, to the point where it really strongly bothers everyone else around the dinner table. I'm not asking for complete silence while eating, it's fine to make some eating noises, but this is to the point where people sometimes have to leave the room because it's loud and it's very frustrating to listen to. If they are having a snack or a bottled drink in the room on the other side of the house to me (with doors open), I have to shut the door to block out the noise. I should say I am slightly hard of hearing, but I still hear it really well, so it must be even louder for the other people around.

There is loads of smacking with the lips, slurping everything (like even fusilli pasta or meat or drinking from a bottle, not just noodles or soup), chewing with the mouth open half the time and biting the fork every time they take food off the fork. Sometimes there's also humming when eating, but they've done that since the day they were born and whilst the humming is a bit odd, it's not really a problem, they don't notice themselves doing it. I do worry other kids will comment on it as they get older though.

I have tried so many ways to talk about how to eat with a more acceptable noise level, and how it's probably not good for the teeth to bite on metal constantly during dinner. I remind them most days to keep the mouth closed when eating. They say they don't realise they're doing it, and that it's too hard to remember all the time to not bite the fork. It's causing a lot of stress for the whole family as 12yo is frustrated that we're asking them to slurp less etc, and everyone else is frustrated at having to listen to the constant noise.

I'm not really willing to stop doing family dinners around the table as I believe they are really important for a family. We do watch tv and eat on the sofa on Saturdays as a treat, and the tv is somewhat distracting so it's not so tense then, but it's not a solution to do that every day.

At this point I don't know what to do other than letting people wear earbuds with music on during dinner, but then it feels like there is no point having family dinner and conversation together anyway.

Hi!

Context: So I was diagnosed with patulous eustachian tubes 23 years ago and it's mostly well managed now. about 6 years ago I also developed eustachian tube dysfunction (water behind the ear drum etc) and also a retraction pocket on my left ear drum. I had a couple of horrific years of severe symptoms and hyperacusis and all sorts, it was really bad, but I slowly learnt to manage it better and it doesn't bother me too much now. I have no plans of surgery at this time. I also have very mild hearing loss on the left ear, mostly with deep sounds/voices, but not so bad that I need a hearing aid. I also have tinnitus of course, and occasionally pulsatile tinnitus for a few days at a time.

Anyway, what's suddenly started happening is that when my left ear (eustachian tube) is semi-open or open, if I bite my teeth together I hear it very loudly in my left ear, but it has this odd "bouncy" feel/sound to it and also sounds sort of metallic. Like someone is hitting or bouncing a drum kind of thing, not sure how to explain it. Unfortunately I also have OCD and so if I discover something with my body that gives me pain or discomfort, I end up doing it compulsively, making it a bigger issue than it needs to be. If the tube is closed, it is not a thing, it just sounds a gentle click sound like normal when you bite your teeth together.

Just wondering if anyone else has this weird thing?