u/Timid_doe

I have been seeing "I don't chase, I attract" on men's profiles lately. Is this code for something? Alpha, red pill, etc? I am sure I am not interested, just curious.

After some changes to my profile (some of which were recommended by this sub), I am getting a little over 10 likes a day. On average, 2 of them turn into a conversation with at least one message from each person. Ok, fine.

But what I don't understand is how absolutely not memorable these conversations often are. I am struggling to turn a conversation that starts this way into anything interesting. Conversations follow one of two tracks, neither one good. "How was your day?" "how's the weather" back and forth, ad tedium, or interview style questions. I feel like I need to up my conversion game. What conversations do you ask to generate a conversation with some connectivity and content?

I was signed up for a Jigsaw event today, coffee for 40+. Ok, cool. It was about an hour away. I got a little lost on my way, which made me a little bit late. When I got to the address, it was in a trendy, mostly 30 something urban neighborhood with very little parking. 20 mins to find a parking spot that was .3 miles away, ok fine.

I get to the coffee shop, which had lots of people... but no event. And no one over 40.

So, ok, I did my hair and makeup, feel like I'm looking cute. I know that Jigsaw has other events this evening. Maybe tickets are still available... Nope, not for women. Only tickets available for men, for two different events. I don't blame them for not having last minute tickets, but now I am wondering if most events have more women than men. The last one I went to at a coffee shop was definitely mostly women. The ladies mostly just chatted and made friends.

I've been to Jigsaw pickleball events, which were fun. I am at the top of the age range, so I didn't really meet anyone, but those events were fun.

Now I am wondering, anyone else have experience with Jigsaw events? It seems ideal, like Meetup but with more dates. But in reality? Eh.

I am getting the strong impression that leading with a "let's take it slow" vibe on my dating profile may not be what men are looking for. I haven't changed my profile, and I'm not sure I will, just wondering what men think?

My profile doesn't actually say "let's take it slow". Its more "single mom with full life looking for slow burn" spiel.

*Edit* What about something like:

Not looking to build a life a together right away, since I already have one. I'm assuming you do , too. That said, commitment and monogamy mean something to me.

*edit to add* I have gotten a lot of helpful responses, and I think maybe I will ask the group to review my profile. Whaat is the process to do this? Just post, or something else?

I am frequently surprised by the number of men in their 40s that post pictures with their teenage daughters in bathing suits. I don't know who needs to hear this, but men, please don't do this. I'd rather see you with a dead fish.