u/Tiny-Bet3871

hey all! been doing EC since my son was 5 months, just part time. he’s 8 months now. we’ve had some ups and downs, but recently it was going great, he was clearly signaling when he needed to pee and poop! and I have had many days where I‘ve had zero wet diapers, and I’ve only had one poopy diaper in the past 3 months! so really awesome.

however! since starting solids, my son has apparently been traumatized by his poops? there was a week where my husband was out of town and I think I gave him too many solids too soon, just because otherwise I couldn‘t really feed myself without LO screaming at me (he’s very into food, and gets very jealous if we deny him tastes). but his poop became pretty solid pretty quickly, and I guess he got ptsd from it, and ever since then has been freaked out whenever he needs to poop!! I can usually get him to calm down by nursing him while he sits on the potty, or reading to him.

but in the past day or two, he clearly needed to poop, but was seeming to be too scared to try and every time he had to pee, he’d scream because it seemed like he was scared the poop was going to come out too! it finally did, and again it’s just solid, but he’s not constipated at all! it’s pretty much just normal looking soft but fully formed poop. I tried feeding less solids, so it went back to being really soft for a little while, to show him it’s okay, but it doesn’t seem to have helped. he seems to seriously have some ptsd. it doesn’t seem to be associated with the potty itself, but just having to go at all! I guess because it just takes more effort now? than when he was just EBF? I don’t know what to do! i assume he’ll eventually get used to the feeling of having to work harder to poop, but I feel like I’m somehow fucking up in some way, or idk! would love any advice or experience anyone has had with their younger babies being poop traumatized or fearful of eliminating. or idk. I just need help, y’all.

I started EC when my baby was 5 months old - I caught one poop and was hooked. I didn’t do it full time, just when we’re home, which is quite a lot since I’m a SAHM, so we‘ve gotten a lot of practice! but I still was mainly doing it for fun, not putting a lot of pressure on it. he’s 8 months now, and in the past three weeks, I noticed he‘s been very clearly signaling for potty like 80% of the time, and has been consistently signaling for poop for a couple months.

well, the past week or so, I noticed that around 4 am every night, he’s crying and fussing, so I nurse him and he fusses 5-10 minutes later until I finally just wake him up at 5:45, because I’m just over it. suddenly, I thought, I wonder if he has to pee? cos he’s rolling around and trying to get up in his sleep, fussing and falling back to sleep. then last night, he did that around midnight, and I’m just all fed up and exhausted, and I’m like okay maybe he needs to poop or something, because in the past when he did this in the middle of the night I sat him on the toilet and he pooped. but I got up and sat him on the potty, and he’s barely awake, falling asleep in my arms, and the second I put him on the potty he pees a waterfall!!!! and then again his pattern of waking at 4 am happened, and I did it again, and boom, waterfall. and both times, he fell right back to sleep.

I was not expecting this!!!!! I thought babies didn’t typically night train till toddlerhood, at least. but he seems to be getting very aware and upset at the feeling! I’m hoping this is maybe a part of why he fusses so much in his sleep, and that taking him a couple times a night will help us both get better sleep going forward! I cannot overstate how amazing I think EC is. it seriously feels like a superpower.

has anyone else experienced this? did it help sleep? i’d love to hear other’s experiences!

two disclaimers: I am not trying to bash any other form of feeding your baby. I’m sorry, I hope this doesn’t come off as judgmental, I just want to rant about my feelings. and my husband is so great and a wonderful partner. I know this is just a speed bump in our marriage.

but sometimes I wish there wasn‘t the option to “just give a bottle” because then every time I have trouble or frustration or any feeling at all that isn’t happiness, I’m told “well, we could just give him a bottle”. like I KNOW that formula has saved many lives, and is a very valuable modern invention! I know pumping is also great! but I just don’t want to do it? I never really wanted to, and I’ve not had any problems with breastfeeding, and our baby is happy and growing great. but I feel like there’s this massive pressure to divide the labor and make it “equal” and take advantage of this modern miracle! but I like breastfeeding. I like being a mother, and having this unique bond with my baby. I feel like (no shame to anyone who didn’t/couldn‘t) it’s biologically normal, we’re mammals, and so I think it’s best to do if you can/want to. I really feel that for me my decision to exclusively breastfeed has helped protect me from postpartum depression - which I was very sure I would get, since I have a long history of depression! but I haven’t gotten any mood issues, despite having very little sleep and all that now for 8 months.

I just feel like every time I voice an unhappy emotion or frustration or anything, I’m met with “well, you decided to do it this way, despite there being other options, so basically you’ve no right to complain.” like, yes I KNOW!!!! and he’s said he reacts that way, because he feels like when I say I’m frustrated about something, he thinks it’s me implying he’s not doing enough, because he genuinely wants to help me. so he knows he’s getting triggered, because he feels a bit insecure about his role, and he truly wants to help. I know this too. I just feel quite frustrated because like yes, I chose this, but I don’t even feel like it’s that much of a choice in my case, and I wish that it would just be seen as a good thing worth supporting. something that’s full of challenges that are real, but that supporting a mother’s bond with her baby and their breastfeeding journey is very important and meaningful! if you can do it, it’s a worthwhile thing to do. but again, sometimes it is frustrating! it doesn’t mean I want to give up or that I’m angry that he can’t take over, I’m just frustrated!!!! but I feel like because there are other options, he sometimes says he feels like I’m acting like a martyr, because I “refuse” to consider these other options.

I feel like if there was an option to have had a surrogate for us for pregnancy, I wouldn’t choose it. I didn’t choose an epidural. I want to experience this as much as I can, I want to stay as connected as I’m able. I think it’s a uniquely feminine thing, and a privilege that I get to experience it at all. I’m not trying to be a martyr, I just feel like it’s a once in a lifetime thing (for me, since I’m one and done) so I just want to do it! but it is still hard and I feel like I should be allowed to express that without being told to give up or compromise!!!

I had a 3 month streak of catching all my 8 month old’s poops!!!! broken… SUCH A TRAGEDY. WHAT A WAY TO START A MONDAY.

I put him on the potty like normal when he woke up, and then he seemed to sign all done, so I put undies on him and went to the bathroom myself and to dump his potty. (normally when he has to poop, he won’t want to get off the toilet and will start crying if I go to put his undies or diaper on.) I’m watching him on the monitor, and he had found the weights I had left out by accident and he was pretending to lift them while making intense man noises lol then he starts crawling toward the door and then stops and makes more man noises. none of this is unusual for him, he‘s been making these intense man noises pretty much since birth just when doing anything, he‘s a very funny baby. well, then I come back and there’s poop seeping out of his underwear!!!! it was terrible. I had just been on a streak of catching all his pees and him seeming to signal very clearly for pees! ahhhhh!!! oh well.

when I was cleaning him up, I just keep thinking how lucky I am that this is the first “poopy diaper” i’ve changed since he started solids. I honestly do not understand how other people survive it.