u/TinyRespect5740

I had a psychotic episode in 2024 A man named Orhan told me he worked for the CIA. I requested psychological testing, and after that he asked me, “Nick, are you sure you want to go through with this?” This occurred at Saint Clare’s Hospital in Boonton, New Jersey. I was manic and I was on drugs at the time, but I still understood what was happening.

I signed a document. Orhan told me he had worked with NCIS and that he had connections to the CIA after I asked him. After that, he said he was going to “bug” my brain. He then did something that felt like he implanted a device and shocked it.

Orhan told me, “Nick, I think you have something you might like,” and put me in front of a TV showing Widespread Panic. I was moving my arms and hands and I felt like I was controlling the music with my movements. A woman came in and asked us to stop. I was upset that it ended, and Orhan looked sad too.

After that, I woke up in a different room. A woman was there and I believed she was modulating my emotions using frequency modulators or something similar. From my perspective, she then proceeded with what felt like a “procedure” or “conduction.”

Later, another woman—wearing a lot of necklaces and jewelry—came in and told me, “You need to get out of here. These are very bad people.” I got up and ran as fast as I could, but guards restrained me. Then I woke up in another room. I looked weaker, and I felt like I looked like a younger version of myself.

A woman told me I was “back at Carrier Clinic,” because I had been at Carrier Clinic when I was 15. Everything about my body looked younger to me. I asked for my arms to become stronger and they did. I asked for the hospital to act like it was the 1960s and everyone acted like it. I felt like they were projecting memories onto the fluorescent lights. It was terrifying. I was punching at the lights trying to get the memories out on the ceiling. The images looked very CGI made.

I then asked for psychological testing again when I readmitted myself. And I meant the same man. I asked him may you tell me
More about those computer simulations you put me through and his response was “can we talk about that later?” And I never saw him
Again and was transferred to a different psych hospital :(

I’m curious how musicians like Trey Anastasio hold hundreds of Dead songs in their head — full chords, lyrics, form, all of it. Same goes for any band that tours heavily and never seems to blank on a song. I’m 22 and a solid guitar player, but I don’t feel like I could do that. Is it mostly repetition? Do they chunk songs into smaller pieces to memorize them? Would love to understand the actual mechanism here. I kinda feel dumb lowkey.

I’ve been in multiple bands since I was 14 or 13, but unfortunately, i never managed to play a live gig. Our constant clashes and fights prevented us from achieving this, and it’s incredibly frustrating and exhausting. The only live performance I had was at a camp, and it was limited to just two songs.

I’m growing increasingly disillusioned with this situation. As AI continues to take over, we’re on a path towards a dystopian future. At 22 years old, I’m concerned about the prospects of a music career. What should I do to navigate this challenging environment?

I’ve been in multiple bands since I was 14 or 13, but unfortunately, i never managed to play a live gig. Our constant clashes and fights prevented us from achieving this, and it’s incredibly frustrating and exhausting. The only live performance I had was at a camp, and it was limited to just two songs.

I’m growing increasingly disillusioned with this situation. As AI continues to take over, we’re on a path towards a dystopian future. At 22 years old, I’m concerned about the prospects of a music career. What should I do to navigate this challenging environment?

I wasn’t doing anything wrong or posing any threat to myself or others when I was locked up in the facility. Still, they put me in restraints just because I was skipping around and screaming. They assumed I was a danger to myself. I have autism, and the whole experience was disgusting.
At least I saw Jerry’s face. I’m not entirely sure whether it was drug-induced psychosis that lasted three weeks or something spiritual, but I truly believe it was a spirit.