u/Toastie-bun6499

I’m 6 months pregnant and, from the moment I found out I was pregnant, it has been non-stop worry.

We lost our son to a preterm loss two years ago at 24 + 3. He was born following a traumatic spontaneous labour and passed away a day later in NICU. Cervical shortening and placental issues were the two things potentially identified that contributed to early labour.

This time around, from about 6 weeks, I had the usual sickness and extreme fatigue, but it was coupled with constant worry because a specialised plan had been put in place for me following my previous pregnancy.

I’ve been under consultant-led care from day one. I started daily blood thinner injections, progesterone and multiple tablets. From around 3 months I was signed off work for 3 months while we had weekly checks on the length of my cervix, as cervical issues were identified as one of the possible causes of my previous preterm labour.

By 18 weeks, I had a double cervical stitch placed under spinal anaesthetic. I experienced some of the worst pain I’ve ever had while recovering from it and it took about two weeks before I started feeling somewhat normal again.

Just as I thought, okay, maybe I can finally have a little bit of normality now, I developed severe pelvic girdle pain.

I can’t walk very far, can’t drive, can’t bend down properly and can’t even lie down comfortably. There are certain exercises I can’t do because of my cervical stitch, so I feel limited in what I can do to alleviate the pain. I struggle with basic daily activities, and I genuinely mean the bare minimum.

I’m tired ALL the time. I want to go out and do normal things, but everything feels like it takes an enormous amount of energy. The stitch gives me tightenings and pressure if I'm up on my feet or sat down too long.

And it doesn’t really end here either. I still have regular scans and weekly checks ahead of me, and at 35 weeks I need to have the cervical stitch removed, which means another spinal anaesthetic. Then I feel like I’ll enter a completely different phase of worry — waiting to see when labour will start. Obviously, by that point I’ll hopefully have a full-ish term baby, which I’m incredibly grateful for, but it still feels like there’s never really a point in this pregnancy where I can just relax and enjoy it. It’s constantly getting through one milestone just to start worrying about the next one.

I’m so incredibly grateful to be pregnant and I’m looking forward to meeting my baby and finally being able to hold and cuddle him. But I genuinely don’t think I’m cut out for pregnancy. It feels like my whole body is broken. There hasn’t really been a point in this pregnancy where I’ve been able to just enjoy being pregnant without there being another layer of worry, medication, appointments, procedures or pain.

And now I think I’m starting to feel overwhelmed about the newborn stage too. I keep thinking, am I still going to feel this physically awful when he gets here? Am I going to have the energy to actually enjoy him?

I just want to be present with my baby. 😔

For anyone else who has been pregnant after loss, did you feel like this too? Did you desperately want your baby but find that you just didn’t enjoy pregnancy at all because there were so many other layers to it after what you’d been through? And did things feel different once your baby was finally here?

I wanted to share my experience because before my cerclage I spent hours reading posts in this group. Most described the procedure as straightforward, with only mild cramping afterwards. I know that is the reality for many women, but it wasn't mine. This isn't to scare anyone—it's simply my story, because if your experience is like mine, I want you to know you're not alone.

A little backstory. Two years ago, we lost our son at 24+3 weeks. I had a large bleed, was admitted to hospital and was found to be 6 cm dilated with bulging membranes despite having no contractions or warning signs. After 8 days in hospital and several episodes of labour, he was born far too early and sadly passed away.

This pregnancy is our rainbow pregnancy. My cervix shortened to around 22 mm, so my consultants recommended a cerclage. At my hospital, they explained that if the cervix is short but still has some length remaining, they often place two cerclage stitches as a precaution. During surgery they found my cervix was actually shorter than the scans had suggested, so they went ahead and placed two stitches.

The spinal anaesthetic itself was absolutely fine. I couldn't feel the needle going into my back at all—it just felt like a bit of pushing. Within a couple of minutes my legs became warm and I was asked to lie down.

The bit I hated most was the sensation of not being able to move my legs. The best way I can describe it is like having really intense pins and needles where your brain is screaming at you to move your legs, but you physically can't. I found that much harder mentally than the injection itself.

They put my legs into stirrups and the procedure started. I couldn't feel any pain at all, just lots of pushing and pressure. From having the spinal to arriving in recovery, the whole process took around 40–50 minutes.

When I got into recovery I started feeling a deep ache in my lower abdomen. My spinal seemed to wear off from my abdomen first rather than my legs, so I could feel pain while I still couldn't move. Apparently that's not how it usually happens, but it meant I needed pain relief quite early.

Back on the ward I was given paracetamol and then codeine. If I'm honest, neither touched the pain. I knew that once the spinal had fully worn off I'd really notice the catheter, and I was desperate to have it removed so I could finally walk.

It took around 4 hours for the feeling to fully return to my legs. The catheter was removed, but before I could go home I had to pass urine properly twice (around 250 ml each time). I really struggled. I was drinking loads but barely passing anything. I'd been started on antibiotics the day before because they suspected I might have a UTI, so that may have been contributing.

The pain then became much worse. I had awful pain deep in my cervix, but also severe pain high up in my inner thighs/bikini line. The doctors thought the groin pain was likely muscle spasms from having my legs in stirrups during the procedure. In many ways, that pain was worse than the stitch itself.

Eventually I asked for stronger pain relief and was given Oramorph. It made me incredibly sleepy and I finally managed to get some rest. When it wore off, the pain came straight back and we repeated the process. The second time I had Oramorph I vomited a huge amount of water because the pain had become so intense.

I desperately wanted to go home, but I decided to stay overnight because I knew the hospital wouldn't discharge me with anything stronger than paracetamol, and I didn't feel ready. My husband stayed with me the whole time and I'm so grateful he did. It was a really difficult night for both of us.

Around midnight I'd reached my limit. The doctor came to review me and reassured me that although not everyone experiences this much pain, it can happen and everything appeared normal. They switched me to dihydrocodeine, which honestly knocked me out. I slept deeply, and although I was probably still in pain, I was too drowsy to notice it.

The next morning the pain was still there, but I felt determined to get home. I asked for a stool softener because I didn't want to strain after the stitch. I had more paracetamol and codeine, and this time the codeine actually seemed to help. I managed to eat properly, pass urine normally, and finally got discharged.

Before leaving I asked for one more dose of codeine so it would cover the journey home and give me enough time to get settled, have a shower and rest.

The moment I got home I became really emotional. I think I'd been holding everything together in hospital. I had a shower, ate something, slept, and when I woke up I genuinely felt better than I had since the operation.

I've been advised to take it easy for two weeks—no sex, swimming, bending, lifting or straining. I'll have another cervical length scan in two weeks.

Since being home I've just listened to my body. I'm pottering around the house and resting whenever I need to. Two days after surgery I managed a gentle walk around the shops. It definitely tired me out, but I already felt so much better than I had in hospital. I've kept on top of my paracetamol, made sure to keep my legs together when getting in and out of bed, and the stool softener has been a lifesaver.

Despite everything, I don't regret having the cerclage for a second.

Emotionally, I already feel less anxious. I know nothing can guarantee the outcome, but having the stitch gives me reassurance that if my cervix starts to open again, there is another layer of protection that may slow things down enough for me to get to hospital and receive further treatment. When we lost our son at 24 weeks, we didn't have that opportunity.

Even though this was one of the hardest experiences I've been through physically, I would do it all again if it gives our little rainbow baby a better chance.

I mainly wanted to write this so I'd remember my own experience, but also because I don't want anyone to think they're the only one if their recovery is difficult. We all experience this procedure differently. For many women it's straightforward, and I truly hope that's your experience. But if it isn't, please know you're not alone, and don't be afraid to ask for more pain relief or speak up if you're struggling.

Praying for every one of us to meet our rainbow babies safely and, we make it to full term. ❤️🌈

I've had two miscarriages and one preterm loss at 24+3, and I'm hoping to hear from anyone who has been through something similar.

In my previous pregnancy, I had a large bleed and was found to be 6 cm dilated with bulging membranes. I was transferred to a larger hospital with NICU facilities and remained there for 8 days. During that time, I went into labour three times, but each time they managed to delay it with magnesium sulfate and steroids.

Our son was born with his membranes still intact. We had one precious day with him before he sadly passed away due to complications of extreme prematurity, primarily a severe intraventricular haemorrhage (IVH).

After losing him, I spent around 18 months grieving before I felt emotionally ready to try again.

Earlier this year, we were incredibly grateful to find out I was pregnant again. Alongside the happiness came a huge amount of fear.

Before this pregnancy, I was under the Rainbow Clinic (UK), where they reviewed everything from my previous pregnancy. The only significant finding was placental pathology showing maternal vascular malperfusion (MVM). My consultant believes there may be an underlying problem with my placenta that causes bleeding, and that the bleeding may irritate my cervix, leading to cervical shortening. We still don't know the underlying cause of the MVM.

This pregnancy I'm taking enoxaparin, aspirin and daily Cyclogest pessaries. I've also been having weekly cervical length scans since 15 weeks. My measurements have been:

15 weeks: 24.8 mm

16 weeks: 30 mm

17 weeks: 27 mm

At some point I may still need a cervical cerclage, and I've accepted that if it's needed, I'll have it. It's the waiting and not knowing that's so difficult.

I'm currently signed off work for 8 weeks. The advice in the UK hasn't been strict bed rest, but to avoid heavy lifting and strenuous activity. The problem is I have so little energy that I spend most of my time resting anyway. I also don't feel comfortable travelling far because my hospital is around 35 minutes away, so I feel like I'm constantly on standby.

I'm wondering if anyone else has had:

MVM diagnosed after a loss?

Placental bleeding alongside cervical shortening?

A similar pattern where the cervix shortened but also fluctuated in length?

A successful pregnancy after a loss like this?

Did your doctors ever find the underlying cause, or did it remain unexplained? If they did, did it change your treatment?

I think one of the hardest parts is that during my previous pregnancy and after losing our son, I simply didn't have the emotional capacity to understand or process everything that was happening. This time, every appointment seems to bring new information, and I'm trying to understand it all so I can make informed decisions rather than feeling like I'm making them in a crisis.

I'd really appreciate hearing your experiences—whether things turned out well or you're still searching for answers like I am. Thank you for reading.