u/Too-Late-1022

20yrs+ married, around mid way in the marriage due to some complications in life, i became a house-band. Did everything at home while my wife was the breadwinner and she also did all the budgeting. I rarely had money for myself unless i was given money to buy something for myself. My life was our family but due to some complications again, my wife and i found out that our future plans are not lining up. Our kids are growing up and they are less and lesa needing my attention. I just want some advice how start again from scratch at this age with zero funds (maybe i can scrounge up some funds selling some personal items but that would not be much). My last employment was around 2010 in a call center. I know how to drive but no license since we don’t have a car or motorcycle. Any advice or up skill suggestions will be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

I was alone before but never lonely. Ive accepted my fate but still content with what i had. I was waiting for the inevitable while trying to enjoying the journey.

You came in and brought joy and happiness to an existence that was yearning to be heard. I was alive again! Not existing but living!

It was “lovely” while it lasted but also “devastating” trying to keep alive. I did my best to keep it alive and almost gave up. In a cruel twist of fate you gave a spark to rekindle the flame but the passion not there.

If this is the start of “the end”. I will still try my best not to say “goodbye” but if in time it just fades away. All i can do is to accept that i will just have to go back where i began, in the dark solace of my existence.

You came into my life when i least expected it, it was a time when i already accepted my fate and just existed, going through life and waiting for the end.

You were a breath of fresh air, a ray of sunlight, cool breeze on a hot sunny day or the first rain after a long hot summer. You gave me something to look forward to everyday, someone to talk to about anything and everything. You were special! I made sure you knew that when i knew it but because of a “complication” you started pulling away, then silence. I opened up but you just went “dark”. No reply, no answer, just complete silence.

In your silence i assured you that I’m not going to say “goodbye” and you will always have me as a friend. Time passed, messages unanswered and silence. The silence became deafening enough for me to decide to slowly let go but out of the blue the silence broke and an unexpected message arrived. It made me smile again but something was different, there was hesitation. it was not free flowing as before as if something was being held back. It was good while
It lasted but it was not the same, i was just glad you were back. I opened up again but was met by the same thing, silence.

I don’t know what will happen next but I’m sure that i will always do what I’ve always done, assure you that you still have a friend that ready to support you, proud of you and and always here to sit beside you. I will never ever say “goodbye” and i miss you my friend…

❤️💛💚