u/TooManyStories17

Just a quick vent/rant because I need it. I'm an abrosexual/aroaceflux person that loves making stories. I mostly identify as non-binary and gay/omnisexual, but I have moments. Because of this, I just tell people who ask my pronouns that I'm either "non-binary," or "it depends on the day". Plus, my mother has made fun of my identity multiple times, and it's making it a lot harder for me. Not to mention that I've had partners also break up with me over this. It's gotten to the point where I feel like no matter what, I'm just a loser who can't even keep a relationship because they don't fully know their identity. Maybe it's because I just started my journey, or because I don't know my place in the world yet, but I feel like I should know. Any tips?

Sooo... I'm in a state of constant crisis. I identify as an abrosexual/aroaceflux person, and it's ruining relationships. Plus, I have no idea if that title even fits me. I mostly identify as non-binary and gay/omnisexual(with a preference for men), and I have a few names and nicknames that I've gathered since I started my journey. Everyone calls me something different, and I don't mind it. But... I've been more involved in the trans and lgbt storytelling world lately. Some of my favorite movies are Fanfik and I Saw the TV Glow. I also read lots of gay stories and even write a lot. But I'm always sad while writing and watching that stuff because they know themselves, and I feel like a story with no plot. Or a movie with no ending. Or a fridge with no food. You get it, right? I feel empty and sad 24/7 because I feel like there's something wrong with me. I feel like I should know myself by now. But no one accepts me. My mom has denied and made fun of my sexual orientation and identity mulitple times, my grandparents would never understand, and I can't talk to anyone about it without feeling like a narcissist. I can't even get help because my mom has blocked me from it. I feel like an awful person because me being aroaceflux makes my partners think I hate them, all while I hate myself for not being the perfect cis, straight, christian girl my family wants me to be. And now, I'm dating someone who I don't see as a romantic interest anymore because I'm too scared of breaking their heart again. Please tell me what I should do