r/LGBTeens

Im gay, but many of my interests align more with what straight guys like, such as basketball

Along with this, i generally act 'more straight' and dont outwardly show my sexuality much

Part of this is because im not fully confident in myself, but i do feel weird standing different or changing my voice and i am genuinely interested in 'straight' hobbies

Because of this, i feel outcast in school. While there are some gay people in my school, they generally only talk to girls and see me as more like the straight guys. On the other hand, i get teased and treated differently by straight guys because im gay, to the point where i sometimes lie about my sexuality.

so I’ve been 13 for a couple months and trans for about a year. my mom stepdad and dsd aren’t homophobic but I’m still so scared of coming out to them. I’m not sure when i should or how. any advice?

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So I'm 13m genderfluid + bi + femboy and I have a strong attachment to femboys because they feel more unique than girls they are alot nicer to me than females from my experience I swear it's different when I vc with a femboy and different when I vc with a girl because I cold sweat and warm sweat at the same time even if my room is cold femboys just have personality to me if you want to say if im going through a phase or if i might be gay please mention me in some way in my username just comment with my name sufficient paper I need answers now

I'm confused

For a little while I have thought I'm trans but im not entirely sure and it confuses me

Ever since I realized I was bi sexual every moment onward felt like I only was bi just to get some attention. I don’t know why I feel like this but every living moment it sucks to feel like it and I don’t know how to like not feel that way

I came out to my mom. All she said was “okay” (yes I made this post before, but I forgot to add an image so I’m making it again, but not only now do I realize adding an image isn’t an option

I will be coming out… tomorrow. Please wish me luck.

my parents aren’t homophobic (by parents I mean, my mom and my STEPdad) but for some reason, I’m just so nervous

Update: I DID IT!!!! ALL MY MOM SAID WAS “okay” and my stepdad wasn’t here

I’m 13 going 14 demiman and GNC. I’m gay and other non relevant stuff. I found out my friend is bi but I think I like him but am not sure if it’s him or the idea of a possible relationship.

I am 18F and I am a south asian. To be clear, I am not ashamed of my culture or my religion by any means, I am just full of guilt and having a slight identity crisis.

I don't know if I should've posted in a muslim subforum, but I was scared I'd get homophobic comments and worried people would make me feel worse than I already feel.

I have been an immigrant since I popped out of the womb, I've been staying in the middle east (south asians basically reign all over the place), and I've had a normal life.

My family is very religious, but it wasn't suffocating or oppressive in any way. Mostly just mandatory rituals, modest clothing with hijab, and no relationships. I could go out alone, with my friends, I could listen to music, watch movies whatever. Which is why I feel guilty, my parents have been very loving and I couldn't ask for more.

It was freshman year of highschool where I befriended my soon to be best friend. We clicked so well (she's also muslim but possibly less religious). We'd spend so much time together and call each other everyday. And up until then I was okay with my religion. Kinda heavily half assing it, and not really all that faithful but I was still muslim at heart. Then I really started seeing her in a different way, I developed feelings for her slowly and I kept denying it in my head. And thought maybe she's just a very close friend and I just feel emotionally attached, but I knew that wasn't the case by mid sophomore year. I started thinking about her endlessly. Like every thought led back to her and it was confusing and I didn't know what to do. Aren't I muslim? How do I deal with that? How do I deal with feeling this way? Isn't this haram?

And another point is, she has been giving me mixed signals. Like it messed with my mind so much. And she has talked to me about possibly liking girls. We'd always flirt but I never knew whether it was platonic or whether there was something real. Never knew whether lines have ever been crossed. One day I just couldn't handle my feelings and just told her. Over text mind you. And she was just shocked. I don't know what came over me, and I was regretting everything. I thought I had lost a great friendship. She was one of the best people I've ever met.

It was awkward seeing her in school the next few days and I kept telling her that I had got it confused and realized I don't really like her anymore after confessing and refused to talk about it (heavy cope btw) . She'd keep trying to bring it up and I'd brush it off. She finally got me to talk about it and she said she felt the same way. She felt hesitant about starting a relationship though. It was valid because I was moving countries after sophomore year and going to a boarding school (worst news of my life).

But after my many pleas (I kind of gaslighted her and told her I wanna be at my happiest before I leave and I'd regret it forever if we didn't get together), she agreed and actually asked me first. And we had the best ever few months. The best months of my life I'd say. We only had about 5 months left before I go to boarding school and we made every moment last. We fought a lot and we'd quickly get back and it was all good. We were so crazy in love, it was just one of the best feelings of my life. We kissed, made out, sexted, and had thoughts of going further but never did, we were only 16. But then the time came where I had to move.

And it was the worst, my parents had suspicious, confiscated all my devices, there was huge drama, most depressing times of my life, could not talk to her at all. All this happened in my final week there. We were supposed to meet up to say goodbyes. I had been really good at hiding my tracks but I guess I slipped up once and my mom probably read my chats. To this day I still have no idea what she read that could have made her react this bad. The hangout was cancelled, the internet at my house was cut and no telephone calls either. I barely talked to her in my last few days, and then I moved. And my device usage was still strictly restricted.
At this time, I hated my parents. But now I get where they are coming from I guess, being lesbian is so fucking haram and all. They never hit me or abused me or anything, just lectured me a lot, but never addressed why. They never mentioned why they're restricting everything, I just sort of guessed it's because they found my chats. God forbid they found the nudes i sent her because holy shit that would've been fucking universal humiliation. I crashed out a lot and kept asking them why and they never said. I kept crying myself to sleep and wondering why life is so cruel when all I did was just love someone else. The universe was against me, the one thing I wanted, I could not get. I didn't want anything else but her at that time. And no one was letting me. If any of you had been in a forbidden love situation (is that what you call it?), you'd know how devastated I felt.

Then it was hell. I went to boarding school (very much against my will, my parents sent me there because I needed fixing, they never said that, but I'm not giving them the benefit of the doubt), There were no devices at all there, and I come home every month for 3 days. And naturally our long distance relationship fell apart, like most, our relationship was built on talking every day and knowing everything about each others lives. When that was gone, it was inevitable we'd break up. We broke up near the one year mark. And it was sad and devastating but I've been so away from her that I got accustomed to it and it didn't really feel all that different. I was so busy at my boarding school (which I had grown to like, made me a better person), and though I did think about her from time to time, I was still so busy, I couldn't dwell on it. Three months of no contact and she randomly comes texting and told me she missed me, and we KIND OF flirted a lot and it was really nice, this was in one of my leaves (I could onyl talk to her in my leaves). After that, I had a tiny hope we'd get back together. But soon after she said she had a crush on someone else and I was crushed. But was supportive. I know why exes can't ever be friends again now.

I went back there in my senior year and obviously met her, and we were in her room, and one thing led to another and we were just making out like crazy. I had to leave after a while because my parents only let me at her house for a few hours, Both our parents have long standing beef because of the incident of my parents finding out. (they called her parents and accused them of raising her bad and influencing me to be homo). We barely talked about it after that. Us making out was just idk a little slip I guess.

We barely talked obviously because of my obvious obstacle, my boarding school. And our friendship was never the same fun free one it used to be back in early highschool. It was ruined and I don't know if it could be salvaged, we were just too different. I had changed and so had she. We slowly stopped talking. And now we dont talk at all, we still have mutual friends and I do talk to them but I dont think I am ever going back there again which rules out any chance of meeting her or the said mutual friends ever again.

I have moved on, definitely. I do think about her sometimes and wonders if she's doing well. I do not want to get back with her, unless I am in some utopia where anything I wish can happen. Unfortunately in this world, its impossible and I dont think I want to get into the toxicity that was our relationship.

Now the reason I vented about all that was because I had thought it was a one time thing and that she was the only girl Id like and that i wasnt necessarily gay. I still found men attractive and was in a way straight. I'm still figuring it out, so the rest of my senior year, I believed I was straight and tried moving through figuring everything out. And then there was this other girl I started getting feelings for. In the beginning I wished she was my ex when we were together talking or something. But few weeks of that, I just realized how stupid I'm being and just stopped. I started liking this new girl and it was even worse because my boarding school is heavily islamic and everyone around me is as straight as a stick and my life would be so over if they knew who I really was. So I just stayed closeted and it was the absolute worst. It's an all girls dorm and me and this girl got really close and we'd cuddle together to sleep and massage each others heads, and all that shit. And I feel so guilty because she probably thinks nothing of it and all of that is just feeding my affection for her. That was pretty shortlived too and I graduated from that school.

I needed to tell someone about this but I really cant. No one would understand, no one knows this part of me, no one knows I liked girls, that I've kissed a girl, that I fell in love with another girl who is so faithful to islam it hurts. The only person who knows is my ex gf and our mutual friends, and I can't really vent to them about this. If I said anythign to our mutual friends, it'd find its way back to her and that would hurt my ego.

What am I doing with my life. I've been so consumed by the guilt of lying to my parents about all this. I've told my mom that whatever she saw was just us joking, (many months later after the incident) and she seemed to believe me after I convinced her so bad. I feel like I'm living a double life. I've pretended to be halal asf in my boarding school. They all probably thought I was the most faithful kid there. No one knows I am currently larping islam. I never pray or do anything. The only reason theres a scarf on my head is because I look ugly without it and my parents would probably disown me if I didn't wear it. My parents think I'm this reformed wonderful kid who changed after boarding school and is so religious yada yada. I feel disgusted at myself? Why couldn't I be normal. How do I live like this. In our culture, its almost always an arranged marriage. And I've grown to just reluctantly accept that and be okay with it. I know I'll get married to some rando soon. How am I supposed to keep this islam charade going? I feel like I'm taking it too far. I'm faking it too much. What if I get a nice husband and I have to fake beign muslim to him and our future children. I'd be living a fucking lie. And I'd die being a horrible person and a liar.

I don't know what I should do. Coming clean about all this a big and massive no. It could compromise my future, my dreams, my career. My parents cannot know. I'd be an outcast and I know I've said they'd probably disown me, but thats not true. They do love me and have done so much. They'd probably be so disappointed and talk me out of it and say its a mental issue liking the same gender. I'm their first child and they'd probably blame themselves for me turning out this way because they didn't raise me well enough. It's just how their mindsets are wired and I cant change that. That's what they were born into. They were born into believing that men can only love women and vice versa. Anything other than that is a screw loose from the head. They'd put me in therapy probably and convince me I'm not gay. I'm still attracted to men and I wont ever go back to my previous ways. But I can't change my past.
And I can't keep faking my life anymore.
Sorry if this post was all over the place and not interesting or whatever. But I really needed to get it out.

Hey guys, hope yall are doing good. I’m trying to figure out what I am, and even after intensive research I still can’t find anything.

I’m bi/berriomantic, so basically I lean a lot more towards women (sometimes it shifts a bit tho), but still have some attraction to male aligned people. For girls I’d say I’m quite the opposite of aromantic and asexual, but for guys I’m so confused.

I’m pretty asexual for men, but sometimes, even if it’s rare, I get actual romantic attraction to them. It usually comes after deep emotional bond, so I thought of Demi-romantic. From what I’ve heard tho I feel like both Demi and ace apply to all genders instead of just guys…

So yeah, I was wondering if there was more of a term for Demi romantic towards men and asexual only for men, but not aroace for women- am I just leaning somewhere on the aroace spectrum or is there some actual terms? Thank you to anybody who can help !!

Side note: I’m NOT a bot, I have low karma because I barely use Reddit T^T

I’m unsure about how many LGBTQ+ identities it’s normal to have. I identify with several, which makes me feel really insecure about it.

I know the title sounds weird, and I don’t really know how to explain this without making it sound worse than it is, but this has been bothering me for a while.
I’m a 16 yo gay guy, and my best friend is a 16 yo girl. I’ll call her Audrey.

Audrey is genuinely the best friend I’ve ever had. We’ve only been close for about a year and a half, but she’s already done more for me than any other friend I’ve ever had. She’s always there when I need someone, she’s supportive, and she has never directly treated me badly because of my sexuality.

That’s why this situation is so confusing.

As far as I know, Audrey has always considered herself supportive of LGBTQ+ people. Before we became friends, her best friend was also gay. She’s never made homophobic jokes, never used slurs around me, and has never said anything that made me think she secretly disliked gay people.
The problem isn’t what she says.
It’s the guys she likes.

Her type is basically the stereotypical Spanish “street” guy. If you’re not familiar with that culture, imagine the kind of teenage guys who act extremely macho, think being gay is something to mock, get drunk and high at a young age, and make their entire personality about looking tough. Obviously not every guy like that is the same, but where I live, a HUGE (If not all of them) percentage of the ones she’s interested in are openly homophobic.

Some of them are the kind of people who harass gay people in public. Sometimes they’re even the type you later see in local news after attacking someone.
And somehow those are exactly the guys she keeps falling for.

Every single guy she’s liked since I’ve known her has openly had beliefs that go directly against who I am.
She’s never dated any of them seriously, so I’ve never actually met one in person. But I’ve seen enough.
A few of these guys have seen pictures of me on her Instagram or Snapchat and immediately started making really disgusting comments about me being gay. Not teasing, not edgy jokes but actual homophobic comments.

As far as I know, she didn’t join in or insult me herself, but she also never completely cut those guys off because of it. She would eventually move on from them, but usually because they weren’t interested in her or things didn’t work out, not because they were homophobic.

A while ago, this topic actually came up in my friend group.
We were talking about people dating racists, homophobes, etcetera, and I said something like:
“I think if your boyfriend is openly homophobic, racist, or believes horrible things, and you’re perfectly okay with that, then you probably share those beliefs to some extent, or at least you don’t think they’re a dealbreaker.”
Audrey never joined in.

Another thing that might be relevant is that Audrey has really bad luck with relationships.
I don’t want this post to sound like I’m judging her for that because I’m genuinely not, I also don't have good luck.
But realistically, she develops a crush on a new guy roughly every month and a half or every two months. We’ve been best friends since January 2025, so that’s about a year and a half. If you do the math, that’s at least nine different guys, and honestly I think it’s probably been more than that.
The weird part is that despite all those different crushes… the pattern never changes.
They’re almost always the same type of guy.
The same attitude, social circles and "being gay is disgusting" mentality.

At some point it stopped feeling like bad luck and started feeling like she was actively attracted to people with those beliefs.
That’s what’s bothering me.
Because if every single person you’re romantically interested in thinks people like me are disgusting, what does that say about you?

I don’t think Audrey secretly hates me.
If anything, her actions toward me suggest the opposite.
But I also struggle to understand how someone can genuinely support LGBTQ+ people while repeatedly being attracted to people who openly despise LGBTQ+ people.

I know attraction isn’t something you consciously choose.
But choosing to keep pursuing someone after you know they’re openly homophobic feels like a choice.
And that’s the part I can’t stop thinking about.
She’s my best friend, and I genuinely don’t want to lose her over something that I’m misunderstanding.
At the same time, one thing I know for sure is that I don’t really want to be close friends with someone whose values secretly align with the people who would happily make my life miserable just because I’m gay.
is this a reasonable thing to be concerned about?

For context, I am 17 years old turning 18, living in a rural canton in switzerland. I just came out to some friends after not wanting to be gay for a really long time (used to be christian, though I joined and left the religion voluntarily so for me it was easy at least) and it felt amazing. I am pretty masculine so people don't really think I am gay (I do a lot of sports and hobbies that are associated with being straight). There's this boy in my class that I really like who's also muscular, exactly my type, blond and everything. Like me he has mostly male friends but also hits the gym, but he doesn't have a girlfriend even though he's super attractive. He makes gay jokes regularly (hinted at grindr for example) and is generally not opposed to lgbt topics imo. In english I was really tired while he was holding a presentation and he told me "I was staring at you the entire time, I noticed you were really tired" (along those lines). To finish off this year we went to a bar with our class and we drunk some alcohol together (usually I dont drink but he made me want to lol). He asked me if I wanted to come to the toilet with him (maybe so hes not alone??) which I thought was odd? Should I ask him out or maybe ask him if he wants to go to the gym with me? We used to not be on very good terms but we both grew a lot. I'm just scared that if he's not gay he will tell the entire school, which I would prefer to avoid as this is something which I want to be private, reserved for close friends.

four more days until I come out to my mother and my stepfather as HETEROFLEXIBLE

please wish me luck all you guys, gals, and non-binary pals

I will give you guys (I use “guys” as a gender neutral term) an update on the 30th.

I‘m very sure that it’s gonna go well since they’re already accepting of my lesbian sister

Edit: three more days now

Hi all. I'm here for opinions. My only child is 15. He could be the gayest of all gay guys and I'd be cool and love him no matter what. He can tell me it's she now, and I'd take her bra shopping. He knows this!

So, of course, he isn't. I have asked light-heartedly, and he says nay, and I don't get that vibe from him anyway. Funny story, though, he goes to the gym nearly every day with his best homie. Let's call his homie John. My son thinks John is the coolest. John is all about working out and “the gains” and the newest protein powders. John has body dysmorphia and will never eat, not even a grape. John is super possessive of my son. John says he's “looks maxing” his face to make it \*look more like my son's\*, and was entirely too pushy about my son getting on prescription medication for his teenage acne. Like more than would be considered normal for typical “bro” behavior, it was an intimate level of concern about his skin clarity lol.

I would be cool if they were a thing, it would probably be easier that way, ha ha. My son is totally oblivious, in my opinion. I think what's happening though, is his friend is super gay, has feelings for him, and also is kinda troubled- I don't know what kind of support system he has, and I've only had superficial and quick interactions with his parents. I get strong vibes from him, too. I think my son is naive and doesn't realize what's up.

I guess what I'm asking is, should I even say anything at this point? Like “hey son, you sure you ain't gay? It's all good either way, son. Still nah? Okay, well, I really think your best homie is, I think he loves you, heads up. You know he's kinda emotionally unstable…”

Or I could say something else in another way? I don't want to make their friendship weird, in fact it's the opposite I want my son to be a good friend, I don't want him to be caught off guard if I'm right. Telling you I get a strong gaydar alarm with the whole deal and I'm a hairdresser lol.

Or mom should just stfu and watch it play out? Thoughts?

**** by “vibe” let me clarify what I mean- when you're an adult and you know just by how someone looks at you or talks to you, by the regard they have for you and body language clues- you can tell when someone is into you. This is how my sons friend is with him, there's something there on his end that I am vibing that my kid is oblivious to.

***** also I would never “out” anyone, a private discussion with my son is not an outing

***** also I do see that at the minimum his friend is being bro culture MAGA weird and I do know that is the actual threat here, lol. I draw the line at MAGA.

soooo it started in school there was this kid we were close and he became curious and expressed his curiosity and i started to think about what being gay was then i wondered what it feels like to be gay so i got curious and said well what if we become gay together and start dating and that went on for a week but we didn't really experience a change from our friendship o we broke up and i began dating women again until earlier this week when i started thinking about my relationships after dating a guy and in none of them was i fully invested i thought i was so i thought maybe i am gay maybe that relationship wasn't meant to make liker guys maybe it was to show me i like guys so then i added this one boy on snap and quickly got attached until i was abruptly ghosted but now i've finally realized i'm gay!!!!!! i feel so much happier and less stressed but idk how to tell my friends and family

I want to stick something up me, but my parents are very homphobic, and if they find out i ordered a didloe anywhere, i will literally get kicked out and maybe worse, is there anything around the house that fells the exact same that i could use?

So recently I've been thinking about femboys a lot and I like femboys but only for the feminine aspect but their still boys. All my friends say it's gay to like femboys but I think it's bi I'm wondering what other people's opinions are on the topic?

Let me explain.

So basically my whole life I have always thought that I was aromantic, which means I can't feel love, until one day I met a girl that for some reason made me feel different, and knowing that she's also into girls blew my mind, but anyways, I think I actually fell enough for her and it got to the point that whenever I would hear her voice my heart was about beating insanely fast and if someone even mentioned her name, whether they were talking about her or not, I started flushing because I would just think of her, I've told her about this and she's told me that she doesn't feel the same way, but she still wants to be friends, and she has said that she really likes me as a friend, but I don't know if I can be her friend anymore, I really like her and I would love to be just her friend if that's what she wants but, I physically can't, every time I think about her, My heart just, I feel like I'm having a heart attack, I don't know.

What I'm trying to ask is, would it be f\*\*\*\*\* up for me to just stop talking to her because it hurts to talk to her? would it be selfish?

I have a crush on one of my straight friends, and me and him are both male... I have been struggling with my thoughts about him, and I know he doesn't like me back. Someone, for my sanity please give me some sort of advice on what to do. I have this crush for over a few months now and I don't know what I'm supposed to do.