:P

So, before I get into any details let me introduce myself. Hello, everyone - My name is Lance RK. I'm a 19 year old male. But, now for the details...

I've been having trouble figuring out if I am gay or if I am bisexual. And, I have dated girls in the past, but I was young back then. And, I have kissed a boy before which that was also when I was really young too. But, anyways... About a year ago I thought I was gay, and then nowadays I think I'm bisexual. But, here is the problem I can't find myself dating a girl romantically or even having sexual interactions with a girl. But, I can find myself doing both for a man. A part of me knows I might just be gay and have been since forever, but I wasn't like really wanting to accept it back then. But, I'm still just confused on about if I am gay or if I am bisexual.

Let me know what you all think.

I'm not gonna say my gender or anything to keep the non bias here, but I want you all to tell what gender the name Cannon comes of to you as. Does it feel feminine, masculine, neutral? Please dont try to be nice and say what you think I want to hear, I want an honest opinion.

Cannon.

(Sorry if my english is weird,I used a translator for some passages. )

My father has always been very verbally abusive toward my mother. The first times I saw her cry were because of him.

Their relationship was not going well, but nobody was supposed to know. Because that’s how it is in Africa: everything can be falling apart, but as long as nobody knows, everything is fine.

Growing up in that kind of environment, I learned to see other people’s opinions as a guide for how I should live.

I’ve always been a little feminine.

And in my country, a boy who “acts like a woman” is considered gay. And a gay person deserves to die.

My parents didn’t like that feminine side of me. That’s why I was sent to a military school when I was 11.

If I wasn’t sure about my sexuality when I went in, by the time I came out, I was 100% sure I was attracted to men.

But strangely enough, I hated men too.

Except one.

My best friend, Malik.

He was different. He was the only one who wasn’t ashamed of me.

Because yes, when I was at the military boarding school, everyone made fun of me because of the way I acted. And anyone who dared to talk to me for more than two minutes was considered gay.

Anyway, I loved Malik.

Much more than just a friend.

I realized it because every time he came to talk to me about a girl he thought was pretty, it made me angry.😭

But he was the one who helped me survive that fucking school, where I was bullied both physically and mentally.

And even though I wasn’t very happy back then, I wish I could go back.

Because my life now is way too hard.

My father found out that I was watching gay porn. He wanted to kill me.

So I went to live with my mother, because by then, my parents had separated.

My father told my mother not to protect a “faggot.”

But my mother told him that I would change. That it was just a mistake I had made.

My father told her that she would regret protecting me for the rest of her life.

And unfortunately, I know he was right.

That day came.

My mother realized who I really was.

“Where did my son go?” she said to me.

And she cried.

Again.

But this time, it was because of me.

It hurts to admit it, but I understand her, at least a little.

In a country where homosexuality is criminalized, where gay people can be brutally killed, having a gay son is not easy.

I think that if my homosexuality ever became public, she would kill herself.

I love her.

And I hate seeing her suffer.

So today, I asked her to forgive me for who I am...

I promised her I would change...and that she would be proud of her son...even though I know it's all lies.

my wish today is to be able to leave this country.

I want to disappear, so I can protect the things and people I love, and be able to love again.

Like I loved Malik, but even more.

Because I know that love is beautiful.

And it should never have to make us suffer.

People who are not cis and not straight. Did you realize that you are not straight first or not cis first?

I'm gay, at least I think (my mind's currently in a mess), and I haven't come out to anyone yet. I have social anxiety, which doesn't help. Except for my parents, I don't think I have anyone to come out to, but I don't really feel like doing it with my parents for now. I found out a few months back, and it took me a while to accept it, but when I finally did, I felt so happy! Now, it's grinding me down. I wish I had someone to talk to, but I have no one I truly trust. I don't know what to do. My mind is currently struggling with everything, pushing everyone back ( I used to have friends, but I now have none :( ).

My Orientation/Gender

So, for a longer time I used to think I was trans (mtf) and bisexual. I got over it, labelled it as a ‘phase’, or ‘hormone confusion’, but now it’s been a longer time and I think I’ve figured it out better.

First of all, I really like women’s clothing. I used to wear white pantyhose for a long period when I was younger, (we’re talking about years here) because I really liked tight clothes. I kinda miss them. I also find dresses and skirts really comfortable, and wish I could dress more feminine and freely. So I’m defintly a femboy, I figured out, and I was find with that for some time. But recently I had the thought that I enjoy playing female characters. Pretending I’m on a woman, I feel like I can express some sides of myself more freely when stepping into another role. I also talk way more unfiltered, which is super nice for someone who has a lot of thoughts going on in my head. And I mean a lot. But that’s a topic for another time.

I’ve also always read my own text with a girl’s voice? (I’m doing it in this very moment.) I like when people misgender me, though I do often corect them. (Mostly if it’s in an argument and they label me as ‘gal’ or ‘bitch’, or smth like that.) I feel like I’m another side of myself here. ‘Mayorv’ is a wholly different, more exppresive and honest side of me, that I pull on when I need to be social. I love her, and often wish I could be here. But I also really like my masculinity. I like being a guy, a dude and a man. If I had the choice to change gender permanently, I wouldn’t do it.

My Sexuality

As I mentioned in the start, I used to think I was bisexual. Now this is a bit personal, but I feel like I need to share it in order to explain properly.

Warning: Mentioning of gooning and sexual appeals. (Just in case.)

I recently, like, a few days ago, was enjoying myself. But as I did, I noticed that I felt more attracted to the dude in the moment, and kinda wanted him to go on me rather than her. I began focusing on his lips his movement, ect. And I went off to that, which I felt quite satisfied with. After a bit of time, when post nut clarify took in, I felt… Neutral about it. Not weirded or grossed out, but just didn’t find him attractive anymore.

I originaly thought I liked men because I could vividly imagine, and kind of enjoy, the thought of sucking a dick, though got grossed out a moment after. I also really liked men’s warm, large and strong chests. (Not saying men in general have) which I honestly found superior to boobs, and still do. Now I’m troughly enjoying the thought of sucking dick, for some reason, withouth being grossed out. I don’t want it in my ass, tho, but I’ve never been attracted to that in general.

The NSFW talk is over from this point on.

So in short, I don’t know what I am, or what I want to be, really. And it really bugs me, so I thought I’d ask the expert. (I’m prolly cross-posting this, but I’m reffering to the people in r/LGBTeens. Nice pun, btw.) I don’t wanna be told ‘you don’t need to think about that right now’ or ‘you can be whatever you want, don’t worry,’ and ‘you’ll figure it out eventualy’.

I want to figure it out now! I want to know, and I’d prefer to do it early on, rather than go around with all this mess in my head for five years on or so.

That was all. Feel free to ask questions. My DM’s are closed, so come in the comment.

I posted before about a guy i met and hes CUTE YK. But so uhm today he was rlly trying to like playfully annoy me during the warm ups (we met at a ice hockey thingy) like we haven’t talked that much but am i just reading into it????? I think i am but he really was like slapping my stick away or hotting my puck away whilst laughing.

Ok for context. I 17M bi have known this guy 17M since freshman year, we’ve been friends for a while and we’ve hung out before. I am not out, he recently came out as bi about a year ago. It was surprise to me, but we’re still super close. We’ve never been anything more than friends but at times he’ll call me attractive or fine. I know sometimes it’s just the homie stuff sometimes, but I really do want to know if anything could actually happen. What should the first step be?

I need help coming out to my mother (MtF)

Hello! I am transitioning (Male to Female). I know for sure my dad is transphobic, but my mom seems more supportive. She found an old, outdated note of me coming out as non-binary (outdated now), but said she would be supportive. She seems to be less bigoted than my father. Any advice? (I'm thirteen).

this is my first post here. before i begin, trigger warning for SH/conversion therapy.

So Im 18 and going into my senior year of high school in a super small conservative christian school. I came out as a lesbian to my parents at 15. They are super strict Orthodox Christians, so obviously they didnt approve and they sent me to conversion therapy immediatley. It wasnt legal in my state at the time, but there was this religious therapist that did it online...it was horrible, of course, but thats a story for another time.

I used to struggle alot with SH , but im alot better now. It just really sucks because my parent force me to go to church even though the preist abused me for being gay. they also heavily monitor my phone even tho im 18 (im literally writing this on a library computer right now)

Anyways, i guess im just super lonely and i dont know how im gonna deal with this shit for another year...do any of yall with unsupportive parents have any suggestions?? I know it would be stupid to run away cause im autistic and not super independent, but im really temtpted to.

I've attempted to post this on r/AskLGBT, but the moderators haven't approved it. I tried r/lgbt, got flagged by reddit. Now im here. Hopefully this works.

For the past few weeks, ive had the feeling that I'm bisexual and genderfluid. I'm kind of uncomfortable with these thoughts, not knowing if its just some weird phase im going through or not. Hell, even posting this is nervous, and I made this account just now to keep it away from my main.

I'd like for people who are bi and genderfluid to ask me questions that I can answer and see what those answers could mean. I hope this isn't too much. The reason i ask for this way is because im shit with my feelings and dont know if its my head messing with me. I also suck at asking the right questions.

Im 16m, btw, if that has any meaning.

Im willing to provide context about my life as long as its not too personal.

it hurts even though she loves me, it hurts so much and i don't know how to cope. i already am pretty alone and have a strong bond with my mom but this is our main disagreement. it rarely happens but it's sad to be reminded my mom doesn't accept me. i'm unlabeled or bi i guess. either way it sucks.

This post will probably sound pathetic, but I need to get this out. So I'm a 14 year old closeted enby. Most of my immediate family are pretty queerphobic (and overall bigots) so I can't come out to them. I'm also homeschooled and don't have a lot of friends or social connections, which is sad because I want them. I have pretty low self esteem and I'm depressed, and there's not much I can do about it in my position. The few friends I do have are neutral to somewhat negative on LGBTQ+. I don't know what to do.

I’m a 17M in school and I just had my first day back of senior year. I’m not out to anyone in my life but my friends and brothers suspect that I am. Last year I realized I was gay, but I’m not attracted to many guys tbh (like 1-2 people at a school of 800). But there was a guy last year who thought I wasn’t friends with or talked to really I think I have a “crush” on. I say I think because sometimes I feel really attracted to him(for example I was kinda excited to go back just to see him, and I hoped I had classes with him). While others times I feel like I don’t know why I’m attracted to him but part of me still is. I don’t know if he’s even gay but to me he has a kinda vibe that makes me think he is(hangs out with mainly girls, often makes hand gestures, and has I high pitched voice). I have like 3 classes with him and in one of them we could pick seats and so I chose to sit next to him. I tried to make small talk but I was kinda awkward. And so when the class ended I started thinking about how much I wished I wasn’t gay and could just like girls. I think they look pretty I’m just not attracted to them. I just feel like my life would be so much easier if I could just force myself to like girls, but I really just can’t even when I try and part of me doesn’t even want to try while part of me does. I often think I’m probably gonna end up by myself because: 1. I’m not attracted to 99% of guys I see, and 2. I’m not out and if I was to my parents would be pretty disappointed. Is this common for people in the LGBTQ+ community to feel this way?

So I'm not exactly sure this is the right tag for this since I'm already out to my parents as trans (sort of; they don't really believe me I guess). But to those who are on HRT as minors, how did you ask your parents about it? Also, is it even worth asking unaccepting parents and how would I convince them?

I was planning on just waiting until 18 but I'm not sure I can stand this for another year.

I'm trans. I've come out to my family as trans several times now (I don't know exactly how often, but quite a lot), and they've always reacted positively. They said they accept me and have never made a big deal out of it, which is why I felt positive. However, they still use the wrong pronouns and the wrong name. I don't know what to do. My family is generally supportive of the queer community and even goes to events like Pride. I feel a bit helpless and increasingly insecure about my family's reaction, or rather, lack thereof. What should I do—if there is anything I can or should do?

(translated with Google Translate)

I identify as both female and male but also non-binary and my grandma found out on accident and took me into her room and yelled at me saying that you "can’t have three genders"and she showed me some very queerphobic books and I'm pansexual and things got worse when she found out that I like a girl in my karate class and she hid some of my stuff, but luckily, I found it and like the title says this sucks

No, I don’t go ballistic if someone misgenders me, that’s just a negative stereotype and very few people actually do that. 9.9/10 times i don’t care, and the few times it does bother I don’t really react to it. I identify as genderfluid. My gender fluctuates, its just who I am. (I feel the need to add this because I feel like its important to clarify my views on being misgendered)

What bothers me is how my boyfriend treats it. I’ve had issues with him in the past about me making a jokes that paint him in a “feminine light.” and whenever he brings up his distaste (after ignoring me for a few hours) about the joke I apologize and stop making them.

But he doesn’t extend me the same courtesy and it really bothers me. I asked him “If I’m a dude, does that make you gay?” and he said “Ew oh hell no I’d break up with you.” and walked away. Mind you, he did NOT say this in a joking manner at all. I wasn’t joking when I asked him either.

Also, I asked him not to tell people about how I identify because A.) He doesn’t really know how to explain it himself, and honestly with the way he acts I don’t want to talk about it wit him at all. And B.) Where I live there’s a LOT of homophobia, more specifically transphobia.

Guess what? He still tells people about it. Even though I’ve asked him not to. Multiple times. When I first came out to him I said that this was something very deep and personal to me and that I was scared of other people knowing, but that I told him because I felt that he had a right to know since he was dating me. Not even my bestfriends knew, nobody. Absolutely nobody. He was the first person I really came out to about my gender. And he told me he was okay with it and that he still loved me no matter who I was. That it would take a bit to get adjusted but that he would use the right pronoun. I told him that changing the pronouns he used to refer to me wasn’t necessary because my gender fluctuates and because I was, and still am, closeted. A few months later, towards the end of the yea, some girls are talking at a table and they start wondering about my gender. One of them turns around and asks me, “Hey, aren’t you nonbinary?” I respond, “No, why?” and she says “Oh, its because (boyfriend) was talking about you and he said you were nonbinary.” Okay, fine, whatever, I just have to be direct with him I guess… I thought telling him that he was the first person I ever told and that stuff would kinda imply that… I didn’t want it to be broadcasted to the whole world? Mind you, I’m not even close with this girl and neither is he.

I decided how I was going to approach him. Simple, direct. “Hey, this girl told me you told her I was non-binary. Can… you not tell people that please? I’m not comfortable with people knowing and I don’t want them to know. You’re the only person who knows about this so can you please keep it a secret?”

Probably like a month later he says, infront of my face and my best friends face, TO ANOTHER PERSON, “Oh yeah she’s… nonbinary, right?”And so I say, “What? No.” and I give him “don‘t say it” look. He doubles down and goes, “You are though.” I say “I asked you not to tell anyone.” and he says, “But (dude’s name) is a chill guy! I can’t tell him either?” Mind you, we’re in class, so I just roll my eyes and ignore him so hopefully he stops talking about it... because THERES OTHER PEOPLE IN THE CLASS. Thankfully, nobody else heard except my best friend, I think, and (dude’s name) probably hasn’t told anyone?. But still, I told him not to tell anyone and he did just that INFRONT OF ME.

Thanks to his fuckass not respecting my boundaries I had to come out to my best friend. Thankfully she’s AMAZING and accepted me for who I am, but immediately after I (very clearly and uncomfortably came out to her) she pointed out how fucked up that was on his end.

I don’t know man, am I overreacting? I mean, later that day I asked him to not tell anyone and he said he wouldn’t, but its bothering me how he clearly doesn’t respect my boundaries and feels like the private things I share with him are for everyone to listen in on. I’m worried he’ll spill the beans about other things I’ve vented to him about, because if I can’t trust him with my gender then how am I supposed to trust him with anything else?

I feel utterly lost and betrayed. I’m currently ignoring him because now we’re on summer break just getting back into school and I feel like I can’t talk to him because well… he never checks his damn phone and honestly I’m tired of his shenanigans. (He’s done other questionable stuff, not necessarily related to this though.)

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a few weeks now, it has mostly been only full of ups. However, today I sent a message at the wrong time, and presumably, his father saw the message. He proceeded to call me the f-slur in dms, proclaimed he needed to protect his son from this gay bullshit and blocked me on all the methods I had to contact him. I feel powerless right now, as there isn't much I can do. I've talked with a LGBTI helpline but didn't get good advice on how to handle it. I'm worried about him mainly as his family is very religious and unaccepting of his identity. They sent him to a place for seeming to be depressed and he came out worse after it. Is there anything I can do or can I only wait?