u/TooShortBelt

For context, I live in western Washington and graduated in 2023, and had a few jobs in the environmental science field here and there. They were either terrible due to the people I worked with or seasonal jobs which were low pay/temporary.

I landed another full time job in my field and I love it so far and the people I work with are great! The pay is the most I’ve made so far in this field being $27 an hour. Job is not too intense physically like some I’ve worked prior, with extremely low pay > $20.

However, my new job requires a long commute (at least imo). I start at 6am but live 50 min away, so I have to wake up at 4:30am to make it on time. There is usually little morning traffic for me. However, on the way home it’s usually 1.5hrs. It seems like I need to refuel almost every week now, and with gas prices being higher here (WA) I am unsure how sustainable it is.

I wanted to ask if I should consider moving for this job or not. I currently live with my parents and rent is very cheap being $400. I pay other things currently like car insurance, phone bill, school tuition etc.

What would you guys do?

EDIT: I work 4x10s mon-thurs

Hi guys;

To preface, I own two senior dogs one I had since I was 9 years old, she is now 17 (Beeb) and one I adopted in college in 2022, who is around 14 years old (Cookie).

I am coming on here as I need advice. I live with my parents and it’s a full house of 5 people. My mother loves the dogs, as do I and my partner, who lives with us. However, my dad has shown extreme resentment and anger towards them as they have aged and lost the ability to hold their pee and poop in.

Cookie, has been diagnosed with pancreatitis, which has caused her behavior to change dramatically. She cannot hold her pee in anymore and pees a LOT, almost instantly after drinking water throughout the day. It’s always a gamble to see if we can get her out the door before she pees in the house. We’ve been able to train her to use the pee pads when we sleep/go out but it’s a lot of pee still, almost 20+ a day. She’s being treated for it, but I don’t really see much improvement. She has lost a ton of weight as well. Before her diagnosis, she was well trained and rarely had accidents in the house. However; she still has a large appetite and drinks water, gets excited to see people and loves spending time with the family in general.

Beeb, she’s 17, so everything just has gone downhill slowly. She’d cry at night due to doggy dementia, she has no spacial awareness of where she’s at or what she’s standing on (food bowl, water bowl, herself etc), and most importantly she has lost her ability to hold her pee and poop in. She often goes in the house randomly. She wanders around aimlessly at points and her body hurts due to arthritis so she mainly sleeps all day. She seems to lose interest in hanging out with us and doesn’t really listen to us anymore.

Despite these things, I love them. They’re not bad dogs; just dogs who have aged and with that comes health and behavioral issues. I understand it is extremely frustrating and difficult sometimes, especially the transitional times where I couldn’t sleep and the dogs started peeing everywhere in the house as well. They still do pee a LOT in the house. While my partner, mother, and I try our best to make them more comfortable and be patient towards them- it is my dad who is having the most issues with them. Us 3, have been paying for every vet bill, grooming appointments, food, toys, bedding, pee pads, taking them for walks, bathing them, checking on them when they cry or having issues settling, feeding them etc. We do all of the care as we know he dislikes them.

He’s been visibly more upset, raising his voice, yelling, swearing, about the dogs and how they’re ruining his house (hardwood floors) with the peeing. How he’s unable to sleep for the past years due to Beebo crying and getting up at night, which I FIXED by crate training her. I wake up at 5 am for work and make sure the house is cleared out of last night’s pee pads, water bowls are cleaned and refilled, I let both dogs out to potty, I make sure medicine is given to each dog, and make sure they do not disturb his sleep. However; it’s not enough. The peeing in the house is what gets him the most and I am running out of ideas. I understand it’s not ideal and not the most hygienic to live in. Although I try my best to clean everything up before he even sees. It’s especially hard since everyone but him works, so I cannot take care of them all day. But he won’t take care of them while he is home. I am exhausted everyday, all 3 of us are, after work yet we still try to give the dogs the best life.

My dad, has been up in a twist about it and ultimately sat us down saying how he let us have everything and does everything for us so he wanted us to do him only one favor, was to rehome them. This broke our hearts. I cannot imagine how hard and confusing it must be for senior dogs who get abandoned. Additionally, he suggested putting them down if I couldn’t morally give them away.

I am in a hard predicament and don’t know what to do. I understand my dad’s frustration with the dogs but I cannot understand his lack of compassion or empathy for them. They’re old, they cannot help it. It’s causing me a lot of mental health issues recently as well, as I dislike it a lot when he yells and swears at them and it makes the household tense when he does it. It’s gotten worse within the past few months and I am unsure what to do. I am exhausted, I work 10 hour days outside, come home to deal with him complaining and being upset towards the dogs and also being mean to everyone because of them.

What do I do?