u/Top-Relationship850

There’s a scene in Krampus that encapsulates this. If you’ve watched the film, you know exactly which scene and character I’m referring to. It’s the only scene from that film I actually remember.

A better example (and overall better film) is An American Werewolf in London. Filled to the brim with iconic black comedy, but tue werewolf scenes themselves are always taken seriously. Landis is very careful not to over-inject those comedy elements into the transformation scene.

The Awl war plotline kinda sucks. In the case previous plotlines that were more or less disconnected from others (i.e. DHG and BH) there were at least a few instances where those threads overlapped before heading in separate directions again. For instance Ganoes Paran’s story in The Bonehunters interacts with Heboric’s story at its climax, even though the two are otherwise unrelated. The Awl war isn’t like that. It feels entirely removed from the other events in the book in a way that makes me question what the point of it was. Preda Divatt and that one Edur general I can’t even remember the name of are some of the least interesting POVs in the series imo. Redmask is a great anti-villain and Torrent a good protagonist, but man their story in RG is boring. It wouldn’t be such an issue for me if Erikson didn’t spend so much time on it.

Adding “Opinion” to the title because I’m sick of folks responding to my critiques as if I believe they’re gospel. Obviously they’re not. It’s purely a matter of personal taste.

I think OPM’s early arcs worked because they focused entirely on the satire element, a tone it promised in the opening sequence. It’s a very explicit mockery of shonen trends (Overpowered protags, boss gauntlets, etc). Every literal punchline centers around the same simple yet fun gag. A gag that only got funnier the longer a villain stuck around and grew in menace. The Boros fight is a small exception to this in that the guy actually tanks one of Saitama’s punches, but that occurs at the end of season one, what I would consider to be the proper end of the story.

After those early arcs adapted in season one, the series doesn’t necessarily swerve straight into standard shonen fare, but the change is noticeable not long after. The Monster Association arcs especially are an absolute clusterfuck of well-worn tropes and hype moments that just don’t do anything for me. All the while the author is still repeating the one punch gag, but it doesn’t land anymore imo because the rest of the series is trying so hard to take itself seriously.

No real hate toward Hellraiser at all. Doug Bradley is a horror legend. Not disputing that. However, I do think the explicit nature of what the Cenobites do to their worshippers and the way the film’s conclusion nerfs them makes them significantly less intimidating than their book counterparts.

For one, the opening sequence in which Frank summons them utilizes implication in a way the film simply doesn’t. We never actually see what the Cenobites do to Frank, only the vague knowledge that it was horrific beyond imagining. “Incalculable suffering,” in Barker’s own words. Before the Cenobites take him, Frank is subjected to a heightening of his senses, in which his sense of smell, sound, taste, and most importantly touch are amplified a hundredfold. Honestly this alone and its implications are far more terrifying than the film’s opening scene.

The film’s hospital scene in which Kirsty meets the Cenobites for the first time is iconic for good reason. Whether or not it’s better than the one in the book is up for debate and I think most lean toward the film, but I think I like Kirsty’s initial encounter with a Cenobite in the book just a smidge more. The biggest difference is presentation. No theatrics involved. Kirsty plays with the box out of boredom, and then one of the Cenobites is just there. Furthermore the physical description of that particular Cenobite is a lot less detailed, which lets you fill in the grisly details. It lacks the aura farming of the film’s scene, but it simmers with the kind of quiet, unspoken panic I love.

Last is the resolution. Compared to the previous two points, which are entirely personal taste, I genuinely don’t like how the film ends. I think it trivializes the threat the Cenobites pose. These are otherworldly pseudo-Lovecraftian demigods. They shouldn’t get low diffed by a rubix cube. The book Cenobites are not banished by Kirsty like the ones in the film are. After they take Frank, they leave. It preserves their power and maintains that the only way to survive an encounter with them is to redirect their attention, something Kirsty only managed through sheer luck.

Dragnipur (Malazan): Pocket dimension contained inside a sword. When slain by the sword, the victim’s soul is chained to a wagon within said realm and forced to drag it across a barren wasteland for eternity. Those who cannot carry the wagon are heaped into its bed, crushing those beneath them.

Matron’s embrace (Also Malazan): A character named Toc who infiltrated the Pannion Domin’s forces is caught and delivered to a giant undead reptile who crushes him, then partially heals him right after. This repeats ad infinitum god knows how many times.

Reek (ASOIAF): Ramsay Bolton physically and psychologically tortures Theon Greyjoy for years. He’s brainwashed, forced to forget his name, and reduced to the role of a literal pet.

Casca (Berserk): Forced to watch all her friends die, brutally raped by her former hero right in front of her lover, and reduced to a childlike mental state through sheer trauma. As of recent chapters she’s been abducted by said rapist.

GRE Loop (JJBA Part V): Villain is defeated by an ability which reduces all actions to zero. As a result, his death is rewound ad infinitum, playing out in increasingly humiliating ways. He’s stuck in this loop for a whole decade, and possibly forever if it persisted even after the reset in Part VI.

Gray Boy (Parahumans): Character ability creates time loops spanning a few seconds. Even if Gray Boy didn’t maim the victims before trapping them in the loop, the repetition is still pure torture.

It’s celebrity-obsessed. I don’t mean real-life celebs obviously, just in-universe ones. Every major character is a king, prince, politician, prodigy, or some world-renowned legendary badass. Even if the character is technically low on the totem pole, they always possess some extraordinary trait or they don’t stay that way for very long. Everyone has to be special. If you’re an average joe, you may as well not exist. You are essentially background scenery. Series like Malazan break this trend occasionally with protagonists like Udinaas, but not as often as I’d like.

I think this issue is why I appreciate stories like LotR, The Blacktongue Thief, and The Stand so much. Among all the larger than life heroes of Middle Earth, the two most crucial characters are midgets from the countryside. The protagonist of The Blacktongue Thief and The Thrice-Bound Fool is a broke nobody who remains average despite his journey. While I have the same issues with pacing in The Stand that I have with all of King’s books, it is the ultimate love letter to the little guy.

Edit: “Enjoy” isn’t the right word. “Love” is. I enjoy many things about King’s writing, but my issues with him more often than not override my praise.

Key word, doesn’t. As in he actively chooses not to. He’s more than skilled enough to do so, but he has little to no incentive to. Case in point, Revival (2014). I wanted so bad to love this novel. Brilliant premise, phenomenal first and third acts. The road to the climax, however, is painfully boring. So much fluff in between the first and third acts that just didn’t need to be included at all. Jamie’s girlfriend, his old high school band mates, his job, his love interest, none of these details which take up huge chunks of the page count have any bearing on the book’s conclusion. The relationship between Jamie and Reverend Jacobs should have been the only major focus, but it’s not. Had this book been half the length I could’ve overlooked the pacing problems entirely, but it’s 480 fucking pages. WHY is it almost 500 pages, man? Obviously I’m in the minority on this; King is the most successful horror fiction author in history.

Just finished TCG today and have been taking notes on the series throughout. First on the list is worst, last is best. I’ve kept my reviews of each relatively short, summarizing what I liked and what I hated. Overall I think Erikson’s biggest strengths are his talent for writing tragedy and the ease with which he balances tone. His most frustrating tendencies center mostly around pacing and streamlining. He lingers too long inside the heads of characters, too long on set pieces, and way too long on pedantic philosophical tangents. Most of the plot threads in these books fail to converge or sufficiently influence each other’s outcomes, leading to third acts that feel like checking off a list more than wrapping things up neatly with a single crescendo. Banter is great in small helpings but Erikson dedicates multiple pages to interactions that ultimately mean nothing.

Gardens of the Moon: Pointless plot threads that have nothing to do with the overarching conflict. Three very boring lead characters, two of which are thankfully absent for the next six-ish books. Messy pace, goes from lightning fast to slogfest halfway with no transition period. Lots of boring exposition that repeats info the reader already knows. Love Ganoes and Coll’s chapters. Terrible climax.

The Bonehunters: Poor structure overall. Y’Ghatan, the best part, ends less than halfway through, leading to a slow and bloated middle full of obsolete POV segments and banter that do nothing but waste your time. Climax feels like a rehash of Kalam’s climax in DHG, which I also didn’t like. Lots of pointless backstory segments (Smiles, Mappo, etc) that further bog down the pace.

Midnight Tides: One half of this book is awesome. The Sengar brothers are some of Erikson’s best character work, as is Brys. Compelling and nuanced dynamics throughout. The other half is abysmal. Tehol and Bugg spend the entire book doing nothing and cracking jokes. Idk why people like this part of the book. The progression of their plot threads takes place almost entirely off screen, making it feel like a waste of time.

House of Chains: Somewhat better structure than DHG, but nowhere near as emotionally rich. Karsa Orlong, the best character, is mostly detached from the overarching conflict and the structure of the latter half of his plot thread sucks. Raraku Oasis politics feel drawn out and stagnant. Cutter’s plot thread has even worse structure and never once intersects with the central conflict.

Deadhouse Gates: Everything about the Chain of Dogs and Felisin’s plot thread is awesome. Felisin is a difficult but endlessly compelling character. It’s a shame the rest of the book’s plot threads are so weak by comparison. Kalam’s story is a slog from start to finish. He remains one of my least favorite characters. Not a fan of the Fiddler chapters but I do love Mappo. One of the best characters in the entire series.

Dust of Dreams: This was where the pacing issues really started to get on my nerves. So many things that didn’t need to be included. Pointless backstory, inner monologues that never end, lore dumps on shit I don’t care about, and tribal politics I also didn’t care about. The sky keep chapters were by far the weakest part. It’s a good thing, then, that the Snake and Tool plotlines are so phenomenal. They make the Chain of Dogs look lighthearted. Also I’m glad Draconus wiped out the Barghast tribes. Fuck those people.

Reaper’s Gale: Udinaas is my favorite character in the entire series. The Silchas Ruin plot thread, though slow, has some of the best interpersonal tension in the series. Everything that happens in Letheras is almost or just as good. Good call saving the arrival of the Bonehunters for later. Only thing I couldn’t stand was the Awl war. Pointless filler disconnected from the rest of the story. Redmask is a great anti-villain, but man his story is boring.

Memories of Ice: One of the two best structured books in the series. Every plot thread and character with the exception of the necromancers is engaging and wraps up in a satisfying way. More than that, they converge more or less seamlessly at the climax, something I can’t say for any book I placed before this. The Mhybe, while somewhat disconnected from the Pannion war, is just as compelling. I did not, however, enjoy the chapters between Capustan and Black Coral. So many pointless character interactions.

Toll the Hounds: I actually didn’t mind the inner monologues and philosophical tangents in this one. They’re mostly all relevant, they all share the same theme, and they serve to progress said theme rather than waste your time via pedantic drivel. It’s like a Charles Dickens novel in fantasy form. Nimander’s plotline is the best part of the book. Basically a folk horror story. Torvald is the weakest part of this book. Pointless bullshit. Thankfully not long. Best climax in the series, save for the last book on this list.

The Crippled God: The Kharkanas siege plot thread is the weakest part of this book. Not bad at all — it’s at least full of action — but it has little to no bearing on the overarching conflict outside of Kurald Galain. Good thing Yedan Derryg is such a compelling character. Everything else is phenomenal. The conclusion the Snake storyline, Mappo’s storyline, and especially the Crippled God’s storyline are the closest this series has come to making me tear up. Best structured book in the series and the most cathartic by far. Olar Ethil is the best villain in the series. What a vile bitch.

No, it fucking shouldn’t be. I see this braindead comment underneath every single short film and/or narration of a short story. If you genuinely believe this will somehow make the story even better, you have no understanding of why short fiction works. Certain stories and concepts are not for long formats, just like certain narratives can’t work in short story form. Even relatively good feature length adaptations of short fiction usually fall short of their source material because they lack the brevity that made the short story so great. Example: Skinamarink simply does not work as a feature length film and you cannot convince me otherwise. The short film it’s based on, titled Heck (also created by the director), is infinitely better.

Last year, I submitted my work to a magazine and made it on to their shortlist. They informed me that they would follow up in a week with a verdict. I waited two weeks; heard nothing from them. They got back to me with a form rejection. No big deal. This year, about five months later, they reach out to me and say they actually do what my work. They send me a digital contract, I send it back with my signature, and they proceed to ghost me for over a month. Zero news on whether or not they even received the contract. The head editor reaches out to me with an apology email stating that it won’t happen again. However, because they’re planning to include me in an anthology rather than a standard issue, they now need another contract from me. The head editor promised he would send me the contract shortly. It’s been nearly two months and I’ve received nothing. No email, no contract. I checked my spam folder. Nothing there. I send them multiple follow-up emails, politely asking for the contract. No response. At this point I’m seriously considering withdrawing the story altogether. Is this bullshit normal for a literary magazine? Am I gonna have to put up with these people the same way I have to deal with HR during a job search?

Easy answer is Bidithal. Literally choked on his own dick and balls. Redmask is up there too. He failed to get revenge, doomed his people to mass slaughter, then got ragdolled and diced up by his own pets.

Oh boohoo, you can’t abandon your kids or beat dogs to death anymore. Get fucked.