u/Top_Kaleidoscope_602

Obviously I knew birth would be painful. But I had nothing to compare that pain to so I was more so nervous about it rather than anxious. I just got my first cervical check at 37 weeks and let me just say.. I sat in my car for about 30 minutes following the appointment having a panic attack sobbing from how painful it was. My doctor had to go deliver a baby so I had a random doctor, I hadn’t met before, do the check on me and she was NOT gentle (despite telling me she would be.) I feel genuinely violated. Now I’m having SEVERE anxiety about giving birth. That just gave me a huge reality check and I honestly feel very stupid and weak. If this is how im reacting to a cervical check I’m going to be a nightmare giving birth. Did anyone else experience such a painful cervical check? Am I being too sensitive? Why did it hurt so bad😭it’s been almost an hour since it happened and I’m still shaking.

Edit: I wish I had the energy to respond to each one of you but I want to say that I am taking the time to read and really appreciating every response I’m getting regardless of whether I respond to it or not. It’s definitely relieved some of my anxiety. I will definitely be advocating better for myself and opting out of cervical checks unless absolutely necessary or unless I’m in labor. My sweet girls gotta come out one way or another so it’s nice to see that labor pain and cervical check pain are different and not really comparable. I normally do well with discomfort/pressure/pain so it was very startling and scary to me when I was met with so much pain. Thank you again.

Editing another update: I just spoke to my cousin, who is a CRNA (basically an anesthesiologist) and she told me they absolutely should have given her Versed for anesthesia. So I will be proceeding with filing a complaint in the least.

I wanted to give an update on my daughter because I received so much kind support. I also want to add a TW because I want to speak graphically about her procedure and SA.

My daughter is doing much better. She had stopped crying when she peed by the next morning, so I'm glad that the pain resolved very quickly. Her fever has also finally gone and she's been fever free for 8 hours now with no medication. It is still a mystery why she had such a high fever for almost 5 days. She was negative for every test, including the UTI.

The one silver lining to this is that I'm realizing the adhesion must have been preventing her from being able to fully empty her bladder, because she always had a wet diaper. Even right after a diaper change, 10 mins later she'd have a blue line, but her diaper would hardly be wet. Now that the adhesion has been separated, I've noticed an immediate difference in her wet diapers. She seems to have a bigger pee and then her diaper stays dry for a few hours. So I guess this is good because it probably would have caused problems when we start potty training soon.

The bad part is she is definitely a little traumatized from the procedure. Diaper changes were never a problem before. Now, she clamps her legs together and says "mama, hold me" or she gets angry and screams "No! No!" And kicks at me. I'm trying to reassure her that nothing bad is going to happen and it's just me changing her diaper.

But man, I am still traumatized. I think I'm having a hard time not comparing it to sexual assault. It was 100% NOT sexual assault, but the mechanics of it were similar. 2 nurses were holding her legs splayed open while the doctor was spreading her labia and essentially ripping it apart. I know this is graphic, but I really need to process it by talking about it. When the doctor showed me and her labia was bleeding... Ugh... It's just really hard. It's hard not to think about the all poor girls that were sexually tortured that we've been hearing about recently. The way my daughter was begging me to help her, and she was screaming "NO!" and fighting them... I'm just having a really hard time with it. My mom was with me and she was a labor and delivery nurse and a post partum nurse for almost 40 years and she is even having a hard time processing it.

I'm sorry for going so dark and graphic, I hope I'm not triggering anyone. My daughter is ok, she is loved and has a great family and all the things a little girl needs. She is sleeping beside me right now. Thanks for reading and I hope I didn't ruin anyone's day!

This was my original post:

Labial Adhesion?

Has anyone had experience with this? Specifically if the doctor had to tear it open?

The doctor needed to check for a UTI, but discovered she has a labial adhesion that was covering the hole for her urethra. I've never heard of this, but I now feel horrible for my daughter.

The doctor had to "open" it to access her urethra for the catheter to get the urine sample. My daughter already doesn't handle the doctor well. She screams the moment we get in there. This was awful. They had to restrain her and I was kissing and holding her head while she cried saying "Mama, help" and "Mama, all done" because she wanted them to stop.

It bled afterwards and now she is screaming every time she pees and saying "mama, help" again. I asked them how long it would hurt her and they said "it heals quickly". This was before I had witnessed her pee and screaming.

It is the worst feeling watching your child beg for your help and be in pain. My stomach has just been in knots ever since.

Anyway, has anyone experienced this and I'm just wondering how long she will be in pain? She is taking Motrin and Tylenol for her fever but she is still in pain. They told me to put petroleum jelly on it. I just want to help her and I feel helpless.