u/Top_Smoke6741

That's it. I realized it today. She truly enjoys hurting me and making others hurt me. That's why it kills her to treat me like a person, to see anyone else treat me like a person. She frames me and goes out of her way to paint me black and I see her smile, a big smile, as they scream and berate me.

She's only ever smiled like that, happily, when she sees someone abuse me or when she abuses me. I don't think I can take it anymore, but I'm trapped until I'm old enough to move out. At this point because of how nobody believes me and how she insists I deserve it and that It's my fault, it's hard to not believe I don't deserve it.

Nobody treats me with human dignity anymore except for my girlfriend and her friends, and at this point it feels alien. The majority treat me like I'm not human, because in school I'm bullied and the teachers do nothing. My parents divorced and my mom is a borderline as well as my sister, so I can't escape. Dad didn't believe me until recently and even then, there's not a lot he can or will do about it to help me. Every day of this makes it harder and harder to remain like this. All I want is to be considered a human like the others. I didn't even do anything to deserve this. I thought I could maybe heal a little when my niece was born (healthy despite being 3 weeks premature), and I loved her so much, but it was only for 2 weeks that my sister treated me with decency, and only because I can babysit the baby. Now she doesn't even bother. My life is a living hell at this point.

School is a blessing even though I'm bullied because at least a few people treat me decently or ignore me, and the work and lectures are a distraction. I can't deal with being at home anymore. I already wanna go back to school to be away from her. It's unbearable to live like this when there's no way out for two more years. I'm only a sophomore yet all I've known is this. My girlfriend was the first to treat me well, and even with her I interpret things as signs she's turning against me when it's not because I'm so used of it meaning the worst. I can't stand it.

My sister is genuinely sadistic. I wish we could be close like we used to be, but it will never be that way again. It's been 6 years of this. Certain teachers keep seating me next to bullies and that only makes my life worse. She likes my suffering, and she hates when I'm happy. She's only happy to see me if it's when she sees me being abused. She's only happy when she abuses me. I can't wait for her to move out, or for me to move out, just something to escape it.

There's nobody left in my family who can help me anymore. I just needed someone to hear me and tell me I'm not crazy. That maybe I don't deserve to be berated and screamed at, lied about, threatened. That I'm not making it up. That I'm not remembering wrong, because nobody here would ever tell me such thing.

I had this nightmare that I was watching a video of a white cat getting microwaved, only it was *my* microwave in *my* kitchen, then suddenly it was 1st person and I was watching it microwave until it's insides disturbingly *popped* out, and then I wanted to give it a proper burial but also for some reason had to hide it's existence, while also having to act normal with family, but then when I went to my room and looked out the window, the cat was alive, albeit disfigured with a messed up gait, and when I went outside to check on it, it stumbled towards a field and then suddenly dropped dead in front of me, then I woke up.

I just needed to share because it really disturbed me. It was a vivid nightmare, and I'm a cat lover so it was even worse. Id never imagine hurting any animal, especially not a cat. Also curious about any interpretations but mostly just needed to put it into words. I'm hoping it doesn't reoccur.

What do you do when they do things like put water pitchers in the chemical cabinet with bleach or putting the sugar into random boxes where ants will get to it repeatedly? She always seems to do it after she starts an argument over small things like a piece of paper on the table. Then she belittles my whole existence claiming I'm useless, I do nothing, that she's the victim, and that I don't do anything. She has absolutely no self awareness. She just lost her babydaddy because she did this same thing she does to me every day to him and he couldn't take anymore. He literally left out the door after a year of what she does to me.

I literally watch her give him mental breakdowns at least thrice a week.

This is just for context. The main thing is what you do when they hide household appliances in reckless places and if anyone else has experienced anything like that.

She treats everyone like actual garbage and then genuinely thinks she's a victim when they leave or snap.

Hell, even I can't deal with her anymore. Im just forced to live with her. I actively avoid her around the house at all costs. I literally go hungry most of the day because I'm too afraid of running into her if I leave my bedroom to eat something.

She also did this to our brother a couple of times, and he's generally not a dramatic or super emotional person and she made even him lose his temper. 80% of his vocabulary is "k" or "cool" and even he went "can you just shut up please?" After she berated him over the tiniest amount of spilled sugar ever seen. It was literally like four little grains of sugar. He didn't even get the chance to grab a rag to wipe it off before she began screaming at him.

Dad is useless here, because every time I go to him about how she treats me, him, my brother, everyone, he thinks it's solely just her hormones. It's like he forgot what she's been diagnosed with for 4 YEARS now. He thinks this is temporary. I'll probably have to move out a soon as I'm able to, because this won't stop anytime soon. My baby niece doesn't have a father anymore and the worst part is I can't even blame him.

[Sorry for poor post formatting. I rushed to write this.]

If anyone cares about what my new sub is about, please join and check it out. If not that's fine. I'll probably delete it in a few months if there are still no members and almost no mods