u/Tracey_Davenport

Hello all,

I recently became comfortable with the idea of dating again after a nasty breakup two years ago.

Anyway, is it normal to not get any likes or matches the first couple of weeks as a guy? I’ve never tried apps before, and I’ve been told Hinge is one of the better ones. I’ve basically exhausted the people in my chosen radius, and I do put effort in my messages with my likes.

I’ve even overhauled my profile based on feedback, and nothing. I know I’m not the most attractive man, but I still try to work with what I have. I don’t think I aim too high either.

My biggest dealbreakers currently are people who want kids or smoke, but I do try my luck with the “not sure” about kids as well.

I do think a couple factors potentially working against me are my race and height.

Not sure whether to end this experiment or continue.

I’m trying to get an outside perspective on a social situation because I tend to overthink these things. This is kind of a part two to a previous post I made, but I’ve included all the info here.

I met someone through a club late into this last semester. We got along well initially. A couple good conversations in person, friendly vibes, she even liked a couple of my posts. She is overall very friendly and extroverted around most people I’ve noticed. We started messaging a bit, but one night, the DMs became drier and the interaction seemed to fade. I let it be for a few days, but we did have a couple brief interactions in person (not negative from what I could tell). I usually take dry responses at face value, and don’t try to force more conversation if it ends.

The person is an exchange student and happened to be leaving very soon, so before she left I sent a short goodbye message. It basically said I hoped she enjoyed her time here, thanked her for being nice to me, and wished her luck going forward. It wasn’t romantic or asking for anything in return.

Truth be told, I’m not even interested in a relationship right now. Just trying to expand my social circle, and I do like having friends across the globe.

She never responded, and afterward I started worrying that maybe I shouldn’t have sent anything once the conversation had already faded. Part of me wonders if I came across awkward or pushy without realizing it. However, two mutual friends who got to see her off said it seemed thoughtful and sweet. In fact, I was assured this person would appreciate it.

Enter today. It seems she blocked me. So now my brain is trying to connect all the dots into “I must have done something wrong.”

I’m not looking for reassurance as much as an honest read:

Was sending one polite farewell message after things faded socially inappropriate or boundary crossing in any way?

I know in person, I’m a bit guarded and I might seem a bit standoffish, but that’s only because I have severe social anxiety disorder. I am generally okay one on one or among people I know well. I keep thinking I must’ve come across as an asshole or a creep at some point. I know I should move on from this, and I will, but blocking over that seems a bit extreme.

I’d like some outside perspective on a social situation because I’m not sure if I’m overthinking it.

I met a girl on campus recently through a club. She’s an international exchange student. We had a few brief but positive interactions in person. Nothing deep, but friendly enough. At one point she was included in a group I was with, and she acknowledged me normally (no obvious tension or avoidance).

After that, I tried to stay in touch a bit casually, as I love having friends from other countries. I sent a light message and also followed her on Instagram. At first, we had two or three substantial exchanges. I even found out we had a shared interest in something I happen to be a huge fan of, so I was especially eager to chat about it.

A few days later, we saw each other at an event, but we didn’t get to interact much. That night, her responses suddenly got a bit short/dry, which I didn’t read much into at first (I haven’t responded since the last dry text a few days ago). I also noticed something on Instagram: namely, she now hides her public stories from me which I discovered because a mutual friend could see them, but I couldn’t.

She’s also leaving campus soon, so the timing is limited regardless.

I’m trying to figure out whether this is just normal variation in how someone interacts socially / online, or if it’s more likely that I came across poorly at some point without realizing it. I tend to overthink social cues, so I’m not sure if I’m interpreting things accurately. I also have a hard time expressing my emotions in group settings, and I have a severe case of RBF. My anxiety makes me think I came off as a creep too, which is the last thing I want to be perceived as.

She did wave at me yesterday, and there hasn’t been any direct conflict. She’s also extremely social and extroverted, which is the polar opposite of how I am.

Would appreciate any outside perspective on how this might be read from an outside point of view.