I get anxious when I see someone calling (except for fam) hahaha. I'd rather type a long message and chat with you all the time than to talk in call. I guess that's one of the reasons people ghost me🤷♀️ Because I don't do calls unless I'm comfortable enough and it takes a looong time hahaha. Does anyone else also hate calls? Or am I being weird for hating calls hahaha.
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I (24M) have been using dating apps for several weeks and it's just a depressing experience. There are a handful of nerdy girls who are pretty cute but I don't match with them. I get the impression that there are literally hundreds of men lining up to ask these girls out.
Maybe I'm particularly picky for wanting a nerdy woman but honestly I've never found myself getting along with anyone else. The dates I've gotten along well with were nerds and all of my biggest unrequited crushes were also nerds. Maybe it's weird to make it a part of my identity but these are the people I like to be around and who I truly feel myself with.
So is my luck just awful or are my type of women really just this rare?
I've been on dating apps off and on for a couple years but finally physically separating from the wife so hopping back on with more time to socialize but don't really have a good picture that's less than 2 years old, any thoughts on non cringey selfies? I know they're fine and all but have a hard time knowing what comes across as maybe off putting or whatever if that makes sense. Anyway, any feedback is appreciated!
My country probably sucks for dating apps even more so since there are only 2.1 million people living here so there is even less women here. However, as an experiment i am setting my location in various areas of south america and asia and i am getting more likes and matches per day than i did in two months using apps at home location. And these are good looking, educated women, and some are even messaging me now.
I have the same images and half assed bio, the only thing i added was a joke about my cat which they seem to like. So at home i barely get noticed while abroad i get likes from women that are the same if not league above of what i am looking for.
Anyone have similar experience?
In your opinion is it more polite to tell that person "sorry, it was an accidental swipe" or just unmatch?
Was speaking to this girl not too far from me for about a day. She hits me with the question about what I’m doing for work. So as I’m an honest person I tell her that I’m unemployed and currently looking. Saw it coming before it happened tbh.
She removed me.
Should I just give up and put dating aside until a secure a job or keep trying?
pretty much every photo of me is not going through. if it’s not face on of me smiling, it will not upload. it seems sunglasses don’t matter, but legit nothing is working. I cant upload pictures that are CLEARLY of me (and I don’t even look different in them, they were all taken like a month apart)
So I'm looking for clarity on a specific behavior I see a lot from women on apps, and to clarify this could be a problem with men too but my only experience is with women since that's who I match with. The scenario plays out like this, I send a message to match based on something in their profile that typically ends in a question for them to respond to. Some time passes, they match, but say nothing in return. The match usually sits there for several days without any follow up from them. My options are to either double message, or unmatch because I'm not getting any response.
The question is, why match if you're not going to talk to me? My assumption is it's someone who typically doesn't use the app frequently, they match and then basically forget and never come back to it. But at that point why be on the app at all?
I matched with someone on Hinge. I gave her my number last Monday. She texted me soon after and said her next day off was next Tuesday (would be tomorrow). I asked if she'd like to get coffee on that Tuesday. She says she'd be willing to meet up before then and that she doesn't have work Thursday evening or Friday/Saturday morning. I say how about Thursday, she agrees, says she's excited to meet me. Everything seems good.
The day before, she apologizes and says she has to cancel because her friend is moving. I say fine, how about Friday? She agrees, but on Thursday apologizes and cancels again. She's extremely apologetic and says she knows she's been hard to nail down. I pitch Saturday, she says the weekend probably won't work after all. I say how about Tuesday, the day I initially pitched? She says "how about we just keep chatting and try and find a more spontaneous time?" I agree. Since Friday though I've just had radio silence.
I'm not sure what's going on. She gave ME her number. She didn't have to do that. She offered to meet up before Tuesday, says she's excited to meet but keeps canceling. Any idea on what's happening here? Her last message was still quite friendly.
I matched with a guy recently, who came off a bit lovey dovey (overly nice messages, lots of smiley emojis). But because I am trying to accept love (rather than avoid it), I have been receptive to his texts.
We had a FaceTime chat that went well. After 15 min of chatting, I said that I had to go but that it was nice speaking. And he said he liked my vibe and that we should get together soon, to which I agreed.
Then 2 days later I got a text from him, sending me photos of himself on a weekend trip. But no texts about going on an actual date. He asked me how my weekend was and I said it wasn’t the greatest.
His response was “oh no! I’m so sorry! Do you want to chat? I’m here for anything you need. 🙂Even if you just need to vent”.
And this morning I get another text saying ”hi, just checking in on you, hoping you’re doing better this week! Sending positive vibes! 🙂“
I understand he’s being nice, but I feel it’s a bit suffocating. I‘ve never met this guy, so I certainly don’t want to vent to him about my personal problems. He hasn’t even asked me on a date either! How should I respond to him without being mean?
My process on these apps, look at profile, genuinely ask myself if i want this person in my life, come up with something funny or witty to send them, send out, now this is where i either never hear anything back and get sad cuz i genuinely considered getting to know this person, or we match, we chat, now either its dry and they dip, or we have a solid few back and forths, before eventually never hearing anything back, where im than sad again cuz i was just getting genuinely interested in this person, and having fun opening up and sharing myself with them
Now this cycle isn't too bad on me and i'd honestly say its worth it if i hypothetically met someone, but im starting to get frustrated with this cycle of being tossed out by people again and again, all for me to potentially never meet anyone, i feel i may be stuck in a sunk cost fallacy, but im just curious are apps just not made for people who put effort in like im describing? Or care this much? Cuz im struggling to find anyone who views conversation and connection the same way, alotta these folk dont seem to value conversation
I’ve been on Hinge for about a month now, and it’s like the Sahara Desert out here. I get a lot of matches, and some of the guys are really cute and will message me first, yet they’re still so dry and BORING!!! If I’m not dealing with men who can’t hold a conversation/ don’t respond for DAYS or at all, I’m dealing with men who sexualize me from the jump and say sexually inappropriate things, which for some reason they think will turn me on??? Literally every age group. This feels hopeless, but I’m still hoping to find my person so I can finally get off this godforsaken app.
I'll just get straight to the point, have a crush on a particular guy and I saw him on Facebook Dating so swiped right on him. I have no clue if he's active on there or not but what I know for a fact is that we never matched. This was about four weeks ago.
Flashforward to now- I see the same guy on Tinder, I almost swiped right but paused right beforehand because I started having this idea it could be seen as "creepy/stalky" to like someone on multiple apps.
I'm seeing conflicting arguments online about whether this is appropriate or not. One side advocates that it shows you're genuinely interested in the person, while the opposite side argues, "Would you approach the same people at different bars constantly? No it's creepy."
To clarify, I have never matched with this person in the past, but I did physically see them at the gym I go to though we didn't talk at all.
Fuck, I feel stupid typing all of this, I'm leaning towards it's creepy and that if they were interested they would've approached me. My friends are telling me that "Maybe they don't use Facebook Datint" but also I'd feel like a creep if they see I'm liking them on multiple things.
So three and half weeks back went on date with a guy off hinge. Dinner date. He was a decent guy, some commonalities. No sparks flying or insane connection or anything like that but nice.
For the past three weeks been trying to organise a second date. The first week we were both kinda busy but then since he’s so busy with work and his new house reno stuff that its hard to schedule a second meeting. We were supposed to meet this wednesday evening but some house reno/work stress came up again and he requested we reschedule to next week
My question is is this is sign he aint really interested. I feel like if you were really interested in the girl then you’d make some time even for a simple coffee date?
I am also a bit concerned if this may be the trajectory if I pursue this guy, that he will continue to be too busy for me in the future.
I aint even really that crazy into him. I feel like with me it takes a while to feel some sort of emotional connection anyways, and its still super early, should I just cut my losses?
I’m looking for casual relationships and chill encounters and make it clear well in advance.
But I’m done being the guy who just talks and talks and then women end up seeing a friend in saying I am a nice guy.
How do I escalate in safe way that signals that I want to take her home. Before this I haven’t felt confident or prepared enough to ask what I want even though I can talk about sex or flirt in text but irl I just freeze.
Maybe my insecurities or under confident self come to play.
I feel a rejection in this case would be better instead of waiting for the right time and being ghosted or smth.
Need advice from the experts out here
40m. Ive been divorced for about a 2 years, was married for 12, and decided to get back out there. I work nights and most weekends so meeting people irl is tough. Ive never tried online dating before and thought it would be convenient. Ive tried tinder, bumble, hinge, and boo. I live in a metro area of 500k and an hour from another city with 500k. In 6 months Ive gotten under 10 matches, most of the conversations stalled after about 3 messages. One woman we chatted for about 3 days and she ghosted me when I asked her out. WTF!
I looked up how to make my profile better and even paid for a month of tinder when they had a sale. Im not being creepy or rude, I ask about there interest and whatnot and still get nothing. My self worth is in the trash. Does this happen alot, was all this a giant waste of time and energy?
Last summer/autumn I matched with this guy and from what I remember things had gone really well. We talked for a while and then planned a date, when out of the blue he blocked me.
5 days ago, I get liked by the same guy. So I message him with something along the lines of “Ah hey M, it’s nice to hear from you again” as I assume he’s completely forgotten about me and didn’t realise what he had done. Turns out he did and apologised for what happened as apparently his mental health was really bad at the time but he said he really liked me. So I accept the apology but said that I was hurt and upset by it but I understood.
We then continue talking for a day, he says that he’s missed me and that he likes me and we arrange to meet up. However, I just wasn’t feeling anything, like I remained indifferent in my feelings towards him. I end up telling him this and I let things die down. 2 days ago he messaged me saying that he really likes me, I never replied but I feel bad as I think I let my feelings from what he did cloud the possibility of me liking him.
Do I leave it? Or do I text him back and see if I actually like him?
I’ve (34F) recently started using dating apps for the first time after a 10 year painful breakup. This experience is all new to me. I’ve been hit with men either ghosting or flaking on dates each time. Conversations were great at first and then the day prior or day of the date, the date either gets canceled or I hear nothing back. The men I’ve matched with are average and aren’t in the top 5%. I am so disappointed that this is becoming the norm. I feel very discourage and lost a lot of hope to find love again. What am I doing wrong?
I just got a date cancelled for simply telling her my lived experience as a man on the apps.
She thought I was being “negative” and she “didn’t like the turn of conversation”?
Are you supposed to be 100% happy and 0 percent sad all the time? Are you supposed to be delusionally happy in every interaction and not express true feelings?
Isn’t that called toxic positivity and nobody likes that?
I don’t know about you, but if you can’t express how you feel to a partner and feel safe doing it then that relationship is toxic full stop.
Do women really not have any idea how difficult it is for a man ready to date seriously and looking for marriage on the apps?
I am 31/F I’ve been talking to a guy M/30 from a dating app for almost 3 months. In the beginning, he was extremely attentive. Every morning he would text me “good morning,” talk to me throughout the day, and tell me about everything happening in his life. If something happened during his day, he would share it with me If he went somewhere he would tell me. If I didn’t text him he would message me 2–3 times himself........!!!!!
I got used to that attention and honestly started liking it a lot. Even if he replied late, he would explain the exact reason why he was busy.......!!!!!
After 3 months, we exchanged Instagram handles. Since then his behavior has completely changed He doesn’t show the same interest anymore. Now he mostly talks only if I start the conversation first and sometimes it feels like he’s just ignoring me or i am forcing him to talk to me........!!!!
The confusing part is that the pictures on my dating app and Instagram are the same, so I keep wondering if there’s something wrong with my Instagram profile or if seeing my social media changed his impression of me somehow........!!!!
Has anyone experienced something similar?