u/Traditional_Car7088

Hi all, I need some advice. Kindly note that all ties has been severed with my ex & there is no ongoing deception happening.

I emotionally cheated on my partner in 2025 (July). To give context, I was dealing with alcohol addiction which led to me being incredibly impulsive. Since the breakup, I have gotten sober & would like to keep it that way. I reached out to my ex whilst in the relationship and we met once for me to basically vent about how sucky my life was (my partner at that point is completely against me drinking myself to death & preferred to not be around me while I was - which is practically daily). Due to this, I felt incredibly lonely & crossed boundaries I shouldn't. I confessed to my partner very shortly after.

There was nothing sexual that came out of that interaction, however it was still wrong.

My relationship ended in November, after my partner felt that I did not care about them as I always went against them whenever I was drinking, obviously, due to the disrespect. Since then, I honoured the lesson & I vowed to never EVER repeat those mistakes.

We separated for a few months, and that few months I really dug deep & figured out that I become an impulsive person when triggered by alcohol or by uncomfortable feelings. I was in a state of fog & I do not remember anything from a lot of years due to the daily drinking.

During our months of separation, a memory resurfaced. The night of the severe argument, a few hours before we broke up, I had reached out to the same ex for a phone call (that was practically silent as I was drunk & needed someone to accompany me to sleep). We did not speak & the call ended shortly after. This information came to my memory while we were apart & no contact.

Now, we are trying to reconcile as 2 individuals after separation, who is trying to do better & decided this consciously after our months of separation. We are not together yet, but we are still trying to work it out. I am not sure if this is considered trickle-truthing?

I have gotten some advice from friends which all collectively said that there is no point reopening old wounds - as the relationship has ended & whatever we are trying to build now is conscious after separation

I genuinely am lost & want some advice. I also want advice on how to manouvre this intense feeling of guilt, shame & rumination that I am no longer the same person as I was & I truthfully regret whatever I did. Also, I am really thankful to say that I am more mindful & know how to manage my impulses better. Any advice is appreciated & I am more than willing to answer any questions in the comments if anyone requires more context.

Hello all, I need some clarity & to vent.

I was in a relationship in 2025 and I was at the peak of my addiction. I had reached out to my previous ex which is obviously disrespectful & emotionally cheating on my partner. I confessed about that instance to my partner a few days later.

We broke up in November, a few hours prior to that, I had reached out to the same ex through a phone call. I got sober in January 2026. This memory only resurfaced in February of this year, when we were a few months separated and I was a month sober. (I have terrible memory when I wasn't sober)

Now, we are rebuilding & trying to reconcile. We are back into dating, however not official yet. I owe it to myself & him to not repeat the same mistakes. I am deeply regretful & I don't ever want to betray anyone again - but the memory does haunt me. I am not sure whether to disclose it as it was from the past & not an ongoing deception. Through our separation, I had went to therapy, digging deep through whatever I was to fix it.

I have done other stupid things that doesn't bring that much calamity although it does give me the horrors whenever I think about how much of a fool I've made myself out to be.

I don't know what to do or how to move past this.