u/Training_Sir9905

i need a professional reference and a supervisor reference. tysm

I (F25) have been seeing this guy (M37) for 10 months. at first it started with him sending dms on instagram. then he would ask me over and over again about getting ice cream together. then he took me on a beautiful date to botanical gardens. then we went out to eat. ever since we’ve spent the night together almost every weekend. he takes me out pretty often. he pays for everything like a gentleman. we talk every single day. he’s really sweet and consistent.

i’m embarrassed to mention this… but we met at work. different departments but we first saw each other in the building.

he’s taken PTO just to take me out for my bday. we celebrated valentine’s day.

BUT anytime i ask him about a label, he says that he doesn’t want to force anything or responsibilities come with a label. he said that i’d expect him to take me on vacations or meet my friends/family etc. my family is very broken so none of my past Bfs have met them.

last weekend we had a convo about it. i couldn’t stop myself from crying during it. when i told him that his hesitance to commit made me feel like i’m dumb for continuing this or made me feel like there is something wrong with me, he told me it’s not that. he told me that his family would have to meet me and ask me a bunch of questions…? also, he didn’t get colder after the convo. he got even closer and more affectionate towards me! i’m so confused. it’s gone nowhere but it’s hard to stop this because besides the title he acts like a boyfriend.

during that convo he asked if we can come back to it. so it had been a week and he hadn’t brought anything up. i brought it up again last night over texts. he said that he’d rather talk about it in person because texting is too much back and forth for this subject. why can’t he just say yes or no? he never just says yes or no.

MIND YOU, i’ve tried cutting him off before and he sent me a text saying that he doesn’t want me out of his life. i stopped texting him and three days had passed and he told me that and took me out to dinner to tell me he wanted to move slowly with this…..

i haven’t responded to his text. usually we always text before our shifts and we will text during our shifts too.

i am hurting so fucking bad. love always hurts for me. i just want something to go right for once in my fucking life man.