Can someone (preferably with a completely developed brain, unlike mine) please tell me how they figured out they were polyamorous? And is this normal?
Hi, I don't really want to get super personal but I wanted to hear some thoughts from polyamorous people. I know that I'm the only one who can label myself and I know that I still have plenty of time to figure myself out (if I wanted to), but I would still like other opinions.
I have a complicated relationship with romance. I have never particularly cared for dating. I would just end up being friends with people and we get really close and decide to "date." There's little difference between romantic feelings and friendship to me. No one has given me a true definition of romance, so I have concluded it must be up to the individual person (I am willing to discuss this further! I love learning things and changing views based on new information!!!!) to decide what they classify as romantic and non-romantic. I'm deeply afraid to discuss this with anyone because what if some people think "ew!! you're in love with me!!" and what if a lover thinks "you only see me as a friend!??"
A few months ago, I stated having this, I guess fantasy? Where I'm in a group of researchers and no one on the outside can tell if we're in a research group or if we're dating each other. And that sounds really nice.
I kinda wish I could live with my friends. We could bake cookies together and do taxes and go shopping. They're all just so awesome. They know so many things, like where to find glass bottles and biology. I want to curl up next to all of them at night and get ready for work with them in the mornings. And perhaps do other things!? I know they do not feel the same though. And this is not the case for all of my friends. Only some.
So like, what's happening, is this common? How did you figure out that you're polyamorous? Is this the blessing or the curse of being human?
Edit: Now that my mind is less tired and more put-together, by "figured out they were polyamorous" I mean "knew they desired that type of relationship." I've always have wanted a group of people where we all love each other in a special (?), even if it's not "truly" polyamory. I don't see why I have to limit my love to one person. People are so wonderful.