u/Trick_Addendum3621

My girlfriend says she doesn't feel supported by me. For context, my girlfriend has previous sexual assault trauma which she has been dealing with for the past five years and she's made huge progress on.
However, it isn't an area that I'm equipped in dealing with on a regular basis but I try my best to be supportive. I do this by actively listening, showing engagement, asking how she is and if she'd like to talk about certain things deeper.

Tonight she spoke about how something she read triggered her and how she spoke to her therapist about it. She also told me that why it triggered her isn’t something she can speak to me about nor was it even something she felt comfortable speaking to her therapist about. I tried my best to listen and hold space by letting her speak about how she was feeling. I told her she doesn’t have to go further into it if she’s not comfortable but that I was glad she spoke to her therapist about the matter and that her therapist was supportive. I acknowledged that I know the topic is upsetting for her and can imagine it is difficult to speak about

However, then she said that she doesn't feel supported by me and that I should Google how to support somebody. It's just extremely confusing because I feel like I do my best to support her by showing engagement, listening to her, holding space for her but I'm not necessarily by doing the talking maybe because I’m not always sure what to say. She said that my silence and “chatgpt answers” are extremely hard to deal with and unsupportive.

A few weeks ago, she told me that I am not a good listener and she also had to have a conversation with her therapist about how she doesn’t feel heard by me. I don’t want to make her situations about me but I am starting to feel like I’m not enough and that I constantly unintentionally upset her.

I’m so confused and upset. I love her so so much and feel like I try my best to support her. I check in with her during the day and hold space for her even when I’m in work and have often phoned her during work when she is upset.

Is there something I’m not doing ? It makes me question whether or not we are aligned or compatible as it’s not the first time where she hasn’t felt supported by my support. What do you think?

TL;DR the support I give my gf isn’t enough

My girlfriend says she doesn't feel supported by me. For context, my girlfriend has previous sexual assault trauma which she has been dealing with for the past five years and she's made huge progress on.
However, it isn't an area that I'm equipped in dealing with on a regular basis but I try my best to be supportive. I do this by actively listening, showing engagement, asking how she is and if she'd like to talk about certain things deeper.

Tonight she spoke about how something she read triggered her and how she spoke to her therapist about it. She also told me that why it triggered her isn’t something she can speak to me about nor was it even something she felt comfortable speaking to her therapist about. I tried my best to listen and hold space by letting her speak about how she was feeling. I told her she doesn’t have to go further into it if she’s not comfortable but that I was glad she spoke to her therapist about the matter and that her therapist was supportive. I acknowledged that I know the topic is upsetting for her and can imagine it is difficult to speak about

However, then she said that she doesn't feel supported by me and that I should Google how to support somebody. It's just extremely confusing because I feel like I do my best to support her by showing engagement, listening to her, holding space for her but I'm not necessarily by doing the talking maybe because I’m not always sure what to say. She said that my silence and “chatgpt answers” are extremely hard to deal with and unsupportive.

A few weeks ago, she told me that I am not a good listener and she also had to have a conversation with her therapist about how she doesn’t feel heard by me. I don’t want to make her situations about me but I am starting to feel like I’m not enough and that I constantly unintentionally upset her.

I’m so confused and upset. I love her so so much and feel like I try my best to support her. I check in with her during the day and hold space for her even when I’m in work and have often phoned her during work when she is upset.

Is there something I’m not doing ? It makes me question whether or not we are aligned or compatible as it’s not the first time where she hasn’t felt supported by my support. What do you think?

TL;DR the support I give my gf isn’t enough