u/Tricky_Jay91

I started a new job at a state agency about a year ago after transferring from another agency. I came in with a strong reputation, and because I enjoyed working here, I encouraged one of my closest friends (15+ years) to apply.
Shortly after she started, our other best friend unexpectedly passed away. She struggled with attendance and anxiety afterward and was ultimately fired. It was unfortunate, but I understood why it happened.
While she worked here, she became close friends with the woman who sits in front of me. Ever since then, I’ve felt like I’ve become this woman’s target.

Some examples:
She became convinced I anonymously reported her, my friend, and another coworker. I didn’t.
She talked negatively about me at a conference I wasn’t even attending.
She has made comments to others questioning how I passed a promotional exam when she didn’t, saying things like, “How could a dummy like him pass? I have a master’s degree.”
She has repeatedly blamed me for my friend’s termination, even though I had absolutely nothing to do with that decision.
She texted my friend telling her that my “behavior has changed” and that she should reconsider whether I’m a good enough friend to keep around. We’ve been friends for 15 years, and she knows that.
A few weeks ago she complained that the plants on my desk had fungus gnats. Our entire office had gnats because several people have plants. I immediately put out sticky traps. A week later, after the gnats were gone, she reported me and my plants to our bureau director. Leadership asked me to take my plants home simply to avoid further conflict.
Ironically, my supervisors have been very supportive throughout all of this. Months before the plant issue, I had already stepped away from our office party planning committee because I felt the environment around this coworker had become toxic. I told both my supervisor and his supervisor that at the time.
I genuinely enjoy my job and my actual work. It’s just exhausting feeling like someone is constantly looking for reasons to complain about me or damage my relationships with coworkers.

At what point does this become something worth documenting with HR? Or do I just keep my head down since leadership already seems to recognize what’s going on and have assured me that this is not making me look bad or negatively impacting my reputation here.

TL;DR: Transferred into a state agency with a great reputation, but after my longtime friend was fired, one coworker seems to have made me her target. She’s spread rumors, insulted me for getting promoted, tried to interfere with my friendship, and even reported my desk plants to leadership after the issue was already resolved. My supervisors support me, but the constant drama is exhausting. At what point do you involve HR versus just ignoring someone like this?

You left with a bike that is completely useless because I have the battery. Bike is a white folding 5TH WHEEL W11B 20" Fat Tire Electric Bike.

You have two options:
Return the bike to my property. You know where you took it from. No questions asked.
If you choose not to, I’ll be turning over the surveillance footage and photos from a nearby gas station, along with video from multiple neighbors’ security cameras, to the police.

This isn’t worth catching a criminal charge over. Return the bike and be done with it.

If anyone in Schenectady sees an abandoned e-bike missing its battery or someone trying to sell one without a battery, please send me a message. Thanks.

I don’t want to press charges if I don’t have to but will if the bike isn’t returned by end of day today.

To the selfish, self-serving fuckholes who cut across three lanes of traffic and then force their way in front of a mile of cars waiting for an exit:

Fuck you. Seriously. Fuck all of you.

Flying past hundreds of cars that have been waiting, with patience and just bc that’s how you’re supposed to do it. Then you dive across multiple lanes at the last second and force your way into the exit lane because apparently you’re more important than everyone else.

News flash: you’re not.

The rest of us saw the exit. The rest of us got in line. The rest of us waited our turn. Somehow that’s too much to ask of you.

What drives me crazy isn’t even the traffic. It’s what this behavior says about us.

We are capable of so much more than this.

As a species, we’ve split the atom, walked on the Moon, mapped the human genome, built telescopes that can see to the edge of the universe, and created technology that would look like magic to people who lived only a few generations ago.

Yet every morning I watch grown adults behave like selfish monkeys fighting over the last banana.

A traffic jam becomes a perfect little snapshot of humanity’s worst instincts. Entitlement. Self-interest. The belief that rules apply to everyone else. The assumption that your time is valuable and everyone else’s is disposable.

It doesn’t have to be this way. We could choose patience. We could choose courtesy. We could choose to recognize that we’re all just trying to get to work, get home, pick up our kids, walk our dogs, buy groceries, and live our lives.

We could choose to act like we’re part of a society instead of acting like every commute is a battle royale.

Maybe I’m too naive, but I’ve always liked the idea that humanity’s future is supposed to be better than its present. That progress isn’t just technological. It’s moral. It’s learning to think beyond ourselves and treat other people with a basic level of respected.

Do better.

We’re capable of it.

TLDR: be a decent person instead of a selfish fuckhole. Be better than your basic instincts.

USA here, newish to mantids. Not new to critter keeping. I had a horribly strange interaction with a well known and very reputable bug seller online recently.

Long story short, I reached out asking about stock, when certain species might return, and whether the company ever did special orders. Pretty normal customer question, especially from somebody newer to mantises and genuinely excited about the hobby.

Boy did I unknowingly open a can of worms.

What followed was multiple increasingly bizarre emails ranging from defensive explanations about customer behavior to commentary about my “psychology,” me being “entitled,” comparisons to chess, and long philosophical monologues about human nature and business. All because I politely said the tone of the original email came across curt and dismissive.

At one point I literally had to stop and reread the thread because I couldn’t believe this level of psychoanalysis came from asking about bugs.

And honestly? This kind of interaction is what pushes new people away from niche hobbies.

We are already a tiny community of people passionately raising insects in jars, terrariums, and bioactive enclosures. We should be excited when new people show curiosity and enthusiasm, not treating basic questions like they’re personal attacks or moral failings.

I totally understand burnout. I understand repetitive questions. I understand running a live animal business for decades probably gets exhausting sometimes. But if someone asking “hey, will this species come back in stock?” turns into a lecture about entitlement and manipulation, maybe the call is coming from inside the enclosure.

Come on. We’re bug nerds. If we can’t be kind to each other, what are we even doing here?

Some of the best parts of this hobby are the people who light up when someone new asks questions, shares excitement, posts their first enclosure, or nervously buys their first mantis. That curiosity and wonder is literally the lifeblood of the hobby.

Anyway. Curious if others have had interactions like this in the invert world or if I just managed to stumble into the Dominion War of customer service emails.

Also, any recommendations on sellers or breeders who arent psychopaths?

Edit:USA not Isa

Hey guys, hope it’s alright to post here. I’m not a dad, but I hang around this sub because it’s honestly one of the better corners of the internet for grounded, decent advice.
I’ve seen a bunch of posts lately about “the sex talk,” so I wanted to share what my dad did, because it shaped me in a way I didn’t fully appreciate until I was older.
My dad is pretty young. We’re about 22 years apart. The first time sex ever came up, I was probably 10 or 11. We had just been skiing and someone mentioned a blowjob. I had no idea what that meant. On the ride home, I asked, and instead of dodging it or shutting it down, he just… answered.
That didn’t turn into one big awkward “talk.” It turned into a series of conversations over time. I always think of it as installments. Every time we were out doing something, driving somewhere, hanging out, something would come up and he’d add another piece. Nothing felt off-limits. He didn’t overdo it, but he didn’t sugarcoat things either.
Was it awkward sometimes? Yeah, maybe a little. But honestly it was way more interesting than uncomfortable. I was curious, and he treated that curiosity like it was normal instead of something to shut down. Sometimes his friends were around and would chime in, which weirdly made it feel even more normal.
Looking back, that approach did a couple important things for me:
It made sex feel like a normal topic, not something secret or shameful
It gave me a pretty grounded understanding early on
It made it easy to ask questions instead of going to random (and usually terrible) sources
I ended up working in mental health, and in group settings I was often the person people came to when something sexual came up. Not because I’m an expert in sex, but because I could talk about it calmly, directly, and without making it weird.
I’m not planning on having kids, but if I were, this is probably the single best parenting move I’d copy from my dad.
Just throwing it out there in case it helps someone. It doesn’t have to be one big speech. It can just be a bunch of normal conversations over time. Love this sub, thank you all for being so awesome, and for raising the good people of tomorrow.

Edit to say people