Do I really have autism or am I exaggerating?
I recently decided to look into this topic in detail, and a lot of the signs matched up for me. I took the RAADS-R test and scored 144 points. Of course, I’m not going to put too much stock in those results, it could easily be nonsense, like thinking you have severe depression when you're 2 years old.
What made me take it more seriously was that I realized many of these traits have been present since childhood. I have significant difficulty maintaining eye contact, I often struggle with unspoken social cues such as hints or flirting (Which, by the way, is why I blew two potential relationships), and social interaction tends to leave me mentally exhausted. I've always preferred spending time alone or with a very small group of close friends. I also have strong sensory sensitivities to loud sounds, bright flashes of light, and unexpected physical contact. I tend to develop intense, long-lasting interests that I can spend countless hours focused on, sometimes forgetting to eat or sleep. I also have repetitive habits like pacing, fidgeting with objects, and bouncing my leg, which seem to help me concentrate. Looking back, there were childhood signs as well, like lining up toy cars, repeatedly playing the same games, and adults describing me as living "in my own world." None of this proves that I'm autistic, but together these patterns made me feel that it's worth looking into further.