u/Tronzoid

Was amazing friends and casual romantic partner with a girl for several years. I met her while I was in an open relationship that was naturally fading out. We were romantic with each other near the end of that relationship. Near the end of that relationship she had started dating a girl but confessed to me she wasn't that into her and was afraid her girlfriend would say she loved her and wouldn't know what to say back. She said I was the only person she ever thought she could love.

We had some amazing times together and were very good friends. I broke up with my partner to have a shot with being with her because I truly thought I loved her. But by that time she revealed to me she did in fact love her girlfriend and wanted to be with her.

I fully respected this fact despite the disappointment. I gave them the space they needed. She even commented that she was concerned about our friendship because I wasn't messaging her as much.

They moved away to work in another town together. She revealed to me that her and her girlfriend would fight about me often and that she was forced to choose between me or cutting off all contact between her and I for the sake of their relationship, despite us only communicating occasionally through Instagram. She came over and cried in my arms to deliver the news. She implied we would revisit this after awhile and may not be permanent.

About 6 months later I heard she was in town and texted her that it would be nice to meet and get some closure or an update. She said she couldn't give me closure. I asked if I should forget about her indefinitely and she said yes. I was very upset by this and dropped off whatever things I had of hers at her parents house where she was staying, along with a note saying I respect her decision and will miss her.

Flash forward another 6-8 months later. I get a message from a mutual friend that she has broken up with her girlfriend and is in town. I reach out to her and say it would be good to meet up. She responds by asking why I feel entitled to her time. I ask what she means. She responds by saying how I violated her personal space and how unsafe I made her feel by dropping her things off at her house in the middle of the night (it was only 10:30pm). She says we had great times together but now all of those memories disgust her and to not contact her again.

I'm so incredibly hurt by her response. I've respected her wishes but I don't know how to process these feelings of hurt and loss and betrayal. I would love any guidance.

Edit: Before I'm torn apart, I know there isn't much to be done about it but accept it and move on. I was just feeling very down about the situation and think I just needed an outlet to express heartache. Thanks in advance for your kindness.