Foreshadowing of life as an empty nester and I’m heartbroken
Full body heaves right now as I feel like I’ve been split in 2.
Everyone tells you to soak in every moment and that you’ll wish for these days back. You halfway believe them and simultaneously smirk thinking, “yea, okay.” Today it actually hit me, I WILL wish for these days back — the constant chaos, little feet running, giggles past bedtime, answering 1 million questions, maybe even the complaining and not listening.
My (31 F) daughter (5) is on a 3-week international trip with my husband/her dad (34) and I’m home with baby sister (11 mo). I’m absolutely elated for them to have this experience together and we fully agreed this was the best arrangement since sis is so little and the travel is so extensive. I am also enjoying some extra time with baby sister. BUT, I’ve never been away from my big girl for this long and there are so many milestones happening right now — pre-k graduation, baby sis turning 1 — I’m just a mess of emotions. So often, we’re running around like crazies trying to get through the day (we both work full time and the girls go to daycare/preschool). It’s a pretty regular feeling to just be ready for bed/quiet/a break. Now I’m full of regret for every single time I’ve ever felt that. I can’t believe I’d ever wish a single moment away. My heart physically hurts being away from my big girl and this feels like a foreshadowing of life as an empty nester. I wish I could stop time and just be mama with my little girls. 💔