r/Mom

Girls, help me out here! So my son started changing for gym class for the first time this week (6th grade). He came home so upset because the other boys made fun of him for his "little boy" tighty whities. He wants to get the "cooler" underwear that his friends are wearing.

So what do you buy your sons for gym class days? Boxers? Boxer briefs? I don't want him upset and picked on.

How do moms actually manage kids, work, fitness, cooking, and still have time for themselves?

Genuine question, especially for mothers who have 2+ kids.

I keep seeing women who have children, work full-time or run a business, cook and manage meals, take care of their kids, exercise regularly, keep a relatively organized home, and somehow still have time for themselves or even make content/vlogs.

I’m honestly curious: how are you doing all of this?

I’m not asking because I think mothers should be able to do everything. I’m actually trying to understand what makes it manageable for some people.

For those of you who feel like you’ve found a reasonably sustainable routine:

- What does a normal day actually look like for you?

- How do you divide responsibilities with your partner?

- Do your kids have routines that make things easier?

- Do you meal prep, batch cook, plan your week, etc.?

- How do you consistently find time for exercise?

- How much outside help do you have—daycare, grandparents, babysitters, cleaners, etc.?

- If you don't have much help, what systems have made the biggest difference?

- What things have you stopped doing because they simply aren't worth the time?

- How do you manage when the kids are sick or your routine completely falls apart?

- And honestly, what do you think is the biggest secret to making everything feel less chaotic?

I sometimes see mothers online who seem to have a very structured routine—kids, work, meals, exercise, personal time, everything—and I wonder what I'm not seeing behind the scenes.

So I'm particularly interested in hearing from real mothers rather than perfectly edited social-media routines.

What actually makes your life manageable? What systems, habits, boundaries, or mindset changes made the biggest difference after having kids?

Newborn trenches are expected . Everyone warns you , “say goodbye to sleep” . I was awake for what felt like 99% of the time .

Now he’s sleeping through the night at 2 yo and I’m wide awake because I’m processing my ability to go from “I just got my shit rocked by a mini me” to holding that same mini while he loses his mind over the banana he just broke in half … and how all parents are not in insane asylums … is just mind blowing to me . Anyways … I’d give up the ability to control my bladder to be back in the newborn trenches for even 15 minutes .

Puede ser algo físico, emocional o incluso algo pequeño que simplemente no esperabas.

Siempre escuchamos sobre las náuseas, los antojos y el cansancio, pero siento que hay muchísimas experiencias del embarazo de las que casi nadie habla.

Para las que ya pasaron por un embarazo: **¿qué fue lo que más las sorprendió y qué les habría gustado saber desde el principio?**

Creo que las respuestas pueden ayudar muchísimo a otras mujeres que están pasando por esto por primera vez. ❤️

My 9 year old sweats a lot during his twice a week soccer practices but barely touches his water bottle. I don't understand him because back when i was a kid when i came home after playing with my friends, i would drink 1 bottle of water. We have tried adding fruit slices to make it more appealing but he still barely drinks anything. The coach mentioned he seems more tired than the other kids toward the end of practice. Have any parent had a similar situation like me, if so i would love to hear what's worked for your kid. I'm concerned about him getting dehydrated when school sports start up again.

Giving all of the context here, because why not?

I (30F) have always been very small without thinking much about it. I always loved savory food and disliked sweets; truly lucky, I know! But also, I ate! I had dinner leftovers for breakfast and lunch, and then usually two servings of dinner with snacks in between all of it. I was a size 2 and 110 lbs before I had my first son at 25.

Postpartum the first time around was WILD and ROUGH. I herniated a disc in my neck IN LABOR, due to poor positioning. I couldn't get a doctor to look at me for a year because I, of course, am a woman and do not know the definition of real pain. I spiraled deep into postpartum depression and anxiety that I didn't recognize for months. My son was also allergic to dairy, and although I couldn't nurse him due to the debilitating pain in my neck and back, I insisted on pumping because I am an utter failure of a mom if I can't even FEED MY CHILD WITH MY OWN BODY! (Please note my heavy, heavy sarcasm here! I do not want to reinforce this belief in some new and impressionable mother.)

So I quickly shrank back down to my pre-pregnancy size -- like in 3 months. Whether it's because I'm just fabulous or the lack of food due to the no-dairy thing or simply being in my mid-twenties, we'll never know! I had an MRI done 10 months after giving birth (but only when I broke down in tears and explained my suicidal thoughts due to the pain). I had surgery almost exactly 1 year postpartum, and the pain went away almost instantly. 8 months or so after that, I started seeing a psychiatrist and was prescribed the medication that I needed, and I'm still on today.

I was enjoying life again, loved being a mom, loved my job, all the things! I got pregnant with my second son, and the first half of pregnancy was incredible. I only craved water and apples and had zero morning sickness. It literally can't get better than that!! Through my pregnancy, my stress level spiked, and my body took note. We were fully renovating our house, living with my in-laws with a 2-year-old, my husband was around less and less, and work was demanding more and more of me. I started having contractions at 20 weeks, and in my third trimester I gained a lot of weight. I don't know how much because I didn't have the time to even weigh myself and I didn't care.

As soon as I gave birth, everything about my body changed -- I CRAVED sugar all the time; anything sweet I wanted to eat it. I ate so much cookie dough and donuts and jam. I didn't attempt breastfeeding or pumping, (well, I tried for one day, but he had the same dairy issue so we chose formula), and I took a lot longer to get back to a non-pregnant body, but I never went back to my pre-pregnancy body.

When I say I was stressed, I mean I was STRESSED. I took on so much at work, which was very emotionally draining (I worked for a religious institution managing everything from what requests the pastors need to see, the weekly newsletter, Sunday service logistics and if there are enough tampons in the bathroom.) In the months following the birth of our second son we also lost power at our house for two separate weeks due to severe weather and had nowhere else to go; my husband took a new job with an HOUR commute each way, and to top it all off, the artificial implant I had put into my neck BROKE. IT BROKE! Post op the second time around, I was in a neck brace 24/7 for 6 weeks. Looking back, I now know that my neck and facial swelling was clearly from the intense surgery, even months later and I should have been a lot nicer to myself. I also got shingles about a week after surgery, and developed inflammatory arthritis a few months later.

Since then (it's been 2 more years) my weight has mostly stayed the same. When I finally quit my job, the drop in stress let me shed pounds effortlessly, and I dropped to my smallest - 138 lbs - but other stressful things piled up. I've given in and bought myself new clothes multiple times, always telling myself that I just need to be nice to my body because it's been through a lot. I'll wear whatever size I fit into and prioritize being healthy. So I got rid of everything and bought size 6... and then they got tight, so I got rid of everything again and got 8s. And now it's all tight again.

Do I just keep buying clothes? Will my body regulate itself again? If I keep going up in size, when do I do something about it? Clothes are expensive, and I love clothes. I have heavily cut down on sweets, started craving savory foods again, and started exercising. Will I ever stay steady? Also, I've had all the blood tests done; it's not my thyroid or anything else health-related. I'm just overweight. Being 2 and a half years postpartum, I think the ship has sailed on hormone regulation as an easy solution. I don't need medical advice or specifics on calorie limits. I just need to hear from another mom that I'll be okay and that one day I'll be able to look at pictures of myself again without shame.

I had my mom help out a lot when I was fresh postpartum. She is the sweetest person ever and was so concerned about me because I had a rough birth that she was like. Oh, who cares who changes the diapers oh, you need to sleep and was just always wanting to help out with babies so that her own baby which is me good recovery physically. She’s stay up midnight to 8am to take care of baby with feeds changes etc while I slept so I could ‘recover’ and I feel we relied too much on her help for the first 4 to 5 weeks of the baby’s life and I’m concerned that that plus ongoing help not as much is making the baby see us two as equals and I’m not that special. He does love me. He smiles when I talk to him, but he does for my mom too. She’s been living with us the entire nine weeks of his life. Has anyone gone through this same fear but then the baby ended up loving you the most later on?

Title: I (55F) found out why my autistic son (32M) wants to move out, even though he has always said he never wanted to

Well, like the title says, my son is 32. He has never even thought about moving out and has always wanted to live with me. I'm fine with that. He pays me $900 a month in rent, and he needs help with a lot of things. He does have a job, though.

He got a girlfriend three years ago. She recently moved out of her parents' house, and now he wants to move in with her.

It was crazy to me because he is afraid of change, and basically, I've always done everything for him. He wanted to move out as soon as she moved out of her parents' house, but I told him no because I didn't think he was ready. Honestly, I still don't think he is.

Now he's saying that he is moving out by December and that he has given me enough notice. I was completely blown away. I never thought he would do something like this without her. She has changed him so much.

I know he is 32, but he has lived in my house for so long, and I never expected him to be in a relationship this long. Technically, this is his first real relationship.

Don't get me wrong, I am happy for him. So I went over to his girlfriend's apartment to see what it was like. It was clean, not cluttered, and quiet. Her roommate is her sister, who mostly keeps to herself.

His girlfriend cooks amazing food. She even makes things he doesn't normally like, and he actually eats them when she cooks. She cleans, has even started booking his doctor's appointments, takes him to work, and goes grocery shopping by herself.

She is an amazing person, and I'm happy he found someone who understands his autism.

She never gets mad at him. One time, she was cooking dinner but had to leave for two hours. She told him, "I set a timer for the chicken. When the timer goes off, turn it off and just leave it in the oven."

She came back, and he had literally just turned off the timer. The chicken got burnt. All she said was, "It's okay. Next time, I'll explain myself better."

Honestly, she seems perfect for him.

I'm okay with him moving in with her. I think I'm finally realizing that maybe this is what growing up looks like for him, even if it's really hard for me to accept.

For context I’m a FTM with a 9 month old baby. I want to give my child experiences and help more with his development but I struggle heavily with going out in public.

It’s like I’m scared to be perceived. And also avoidant of simply going on a walk in my neighborhood. It’s very trashy and I feel uncomfortable walking my baby around alone. Like I’m put off by a man who lives down the street from me, and the stupid large dog that comes out and aggressively barks at us every time (these people do not have a proper fence for their dog) I go on a walk.

If we walk someplace in public I feel anxious in that I’m taking up space. I feel self conscious that my stroller is taking up too much of the sidewalk. And frankly people don’t necessarily make room for you to walk freely, which they shouldn’t have to, I just thought maybe they would cause I’m a mom now with my infant child.

I don’t want to go anywhere I used to feel comfortable anymore because of the chance of running into people I know or just that the baby may cry in a small enclosed area.

All we do is hangout at the house and I feel bad cause I know he should go outside and meet people and experience things but I’m like scared and annoyed before I even start getting us ready.

Just looking for advice or encouragement, or maybe someone is experiencing the same paranoia as I am.

Sorry if this is not allowed, but to put a long story short I found out I was pregnant after 4 years of what I thought was infertility (not confirmed by a doctor). I was very shocked and excited. I had a transvaginal ultrasound yesterday and they only found a gestational sac. Since this is my first pregnancy I really had no idea what this means and the tech wasn't able to tell me much. The sac was 13 mm and today (24 hours later) they had me come in to do bloodwork. My hcg level was 21,117 and they estimated me at 6 weeks and 1 day just based off of the sac size. I was not tracking my period or ovulation at all due to thinking pregnancy would never happen to me.
I feel like I had just finally accepted this and now I'm deeply sad and disappointed all over again, and it feels like no one can really tell me what's going on. If anyone has had any personal experience similar or any thoughts on the situation it would be so very appreciated.

This just happened a couple hours ago so I feel the need to share to get it out of my system hopefully!

I'm 8 months post partum and I went to the gym this evening (only time of the day I have to myself is when my husband gets home so anywhere from 7pm to 9pm) and I ended up injuring myself at the end of one of my sets.

I was doing step ups about 15 inches off the ground and I missed my step coming down and rolled on my ankle. Hit the floor and in lots of pain! I couldn't stand up or put any pressure on it without feeling sharp pain.

Worse part is, I'm in a back room of the gym facility, completely alone. No one is around. It's late. A few people are at the front of the gym with headphones on. I realized I'm stuck here on the floor in pain alone.

I started yelling for help but no one heard me (I'm in a very far back area, usually used for personal trainers but members are allowed if not in use. I like the privacy it made me feel like I was at my own private gym area.)

I called my husband on my phone and told him the situation. Our 8 month old is asleep by now so it was a chaotic conversation but my husband's on his way over. Contacted my mom who's 20 minutes away to come over to watch our son. So having to wait on her and my husband. All alone. Then there's the gym, its one of those 24 hour lets members in with a finger print scanner and I was worried he wasn't going to be able to get anyone to let him in.

I was trying to see if I could hold myself up against the wall but I couldn't keep my balance and my ankle was painful. I felt helpless and embarrassed.

Then for whatever reason I thought about my baby and I thought about crawling. So I crawled. On my hands and knees just like my 8 month old does all day.

I crawled to the front of the gym down two hallways and reached for a light switch I found. I started flickering the lights to grab someone's attention and it worked. Someone saw me and rushed over. Very kind people helped me up on a rolling chair and helped me until my husband showed up.

So yeah! Im super embarrassed. That's the last time I work out in an isolated area and I'm sure the video footage is hilarious. Word of caution, do not work out in an isolated area! Anything can happen!

I can't wait to tell my son one day that I thought about him crawling and it kinda helped me!

Still feeling adrenaline and pain and stupidity. I hope I can overcome the embarrassment and come back to work out once healed. I'm just a new mom trying to feel herself again.

I’m 6 months postpartum and struggling with how to navigate the situation with my partner’s family.

We see my family about once a week, either at their house or they come to ours. My partner’s parents, on the other hand, have only been to our house once even though they live literally three blocks away.

I don’t really like bringing our baby to their house. They have three dogs that I’m not comfortable having around him, and they smoke cigarettes in the house. His mom says she won’t smoke while the baby is there, but that doesn’t change the fact that the house itself is full of cigarette smoke/residue and generally isn’t somewhere I’m comfortable bringing him.

When our baby was about a month old, we made plans for his parents to come visit us. We waited around all day and they never came. I texted his mom and suggested she come the next day instead. Same thing happened. Eventually I just stopped trying.

They’re the type of people who constantly make plans and don’t follow through. Apparently I’m supposed to just “get over it” because they’re more spontaneous and “go with the flow.” But I don’t think it should be my responsibility to chase grown adults down and make sure they have a relationship with their grandchild.

I’ve specifically told his mom, “Just text me if you want to come visit.” She knows she’s welcome to reach out. I’m not keeping the baby from her or telling her she can’t come over.

What makes this especially frustrating is that she has no problem going to the bar half a block away from our house to play the slot machines, but somehow making the extra effort to come to our house and see her grandson doesn’t happen. If she can make the effort to go there, I don’t understand why it’s suddenly my responsibility to arrange visits for her.

There’s another layer to this. His mom has talked to us about her marriage and how badly her husband treats her, including physical abuse. I have my own history of being in an abusive relationship, and I’ve told my partner before that I cannot be his mother’s counsellor. Hearing those details is difficult for me, especially when they’re still together. I think she needs support from a professional rather than relying on me for emotional support.

Now my partner is telling me that I should invite his mom over more because she’s depressed and spending time with me and the baby would apparently help her.

I’m sorry, but I’m six months postpartum, taking care of a baby and dealing with my own emotions and responsibilities. I don’t feel like it should also be my responsibility to manage his mom’s depression or make sure she gets out of the house. If she wants to see her grandson, she can literally text me and ask to come over. I’ve already told her that.

What’s really bothering me is that my partner is starting to make this feel like it’s somehow my fault that his mom doesn’t see our baby more. From my perspective, the door is open. I’ve just stopped chasing someone who repeatedly makes plans and doesn’t follow through.

Am I being unreasonable? How would you navigate this with your partner? I don’t want to prevent his family from having a relationship with our son, but I also don’t think I should be responsible for maintaining that relationship or managing his mom’s mental health.

Looking to hear stories from moms who had to have an emergency c section then a planned on on their second baby.

I have a ton of anxiety around trying to decide what to do this time.

My first birth was pretty traumatic. I went in to be induced at 35 weeks and 6 days due to very bad pre eclampsia that came on suddenly. When the dr on call broke my water that caused a chain of events that made me have to get an emergency c section where I was also put under anesthesia. I was panicked, alone in the OR and being told the had minutes to get my son out of me. I woke up to my husband holding our son.

This time around my current OB said I could try Vbac or do a planned c section. I’m leaning towards a c section this time. I’m nervous to be induced again for obvious reasons and I am not the kind of person who can just go into labor at any random time.

My biggest thing with the c section is idk what to expect since I wasn’t awake. I know what recovery is like but that’s it.

I just want to know if anyone had a good experience with a planner c section. I’m just so nervous and not sure what to do at all.

SOOOO…. My husband insists I need to work because he doesn’t make enough to live off one income. I told him this would happen like 2 years ago when I was pregnant and he should hunt for a higher paying job. I ended up having to quite mine after maternity leave because I made as much as childcare cost. Has he made any effort on this front? No. Of course not. He’s been in this industry for over a decade and I’ve worked like 2 years in it for reference to later in the story. I tried working on his off days but he…. Was so… incompetent. He would just dump the breastmilk and waste it. He now just tosses her food away if she doesn’t eat it instantly. I landed a job that basically doubles our income and all he’s interested about is money. He doesn’t take getting her ready in the morning for daycare seriously. He falls asleep when he’s supposed to be watching her when I do chores on the weekend that I cannot get done with her on my back during the week. The baby doesn’t ever want him for naps or bed and when I try to make him try so I can complete what I’m doing he turns in like ms. Rachel or Sesame Street (she’s 17 months old). He is getting worse and worse at helping with any thing. Like we own a home and does like none of the traditional male or female jobs around the home. I have to do the softenersalt. Build the structures for the garden beds, change the HVAC filters, take care of the dog, the cleaning, the cooking, grocery shopping (because he now just calls and needs me to hold his hand to get through it). Like I’m about to go INSANE. I feel like he’s doing it on purpose and whines that we don’t spend enough time together. So then I try to literally just hang out and chat with him after the baby is in bed and he throws a tantrum because that’s NOT the kind of hanging out he wanted. Like I asked if he would take me on a date when my parents are in town next month for a week and he said “why”….. he can’t even go out an dig a hole without freaking out about bugs and braking a pot smashing it with the shovel…. I’m trying SO hard to not lose my shiz on him because the baby is always watching and we don’t really have an option for alternative childcare. Plus whenever I talk to him he turns into a sniveling little toddler and gets defensive, throws tantrums, and gets self deprecating. I did get him to go to therapy which he rage quit because he didn’t believe he needs it and tells me it’s toxic I keep bringing it up. He told me I wasn’t doing my wifely duties a couple of weeks ago. I’m really concerned that if we get divorced I will either; A. Lose custody of my kid because I would have to move out of state to be near family and in a lower cost of living area. And B. I’d be worried if he did have 50/50 custody (which is what our area mainly does unless the child’s safety is in question) of her he wouldn’t be able to handle her. I’m really lost. Do I tolerate it another year or so and pay off some debt and save some money and then file and hope she’s okay when she’s at home with him? I know he won’t be able to handle her when sick solo he’s too oblivious and when I was legit struggling to breath and almost called an ambulance for myself last winter he had the audacity to say “it’s so hard to tell if you’re actually sick”. That was the second time ever in the ER in my entire 34 years of life. Or do I say let’s divorce now with no job, plan, or place to go so I can be free sooner? To be fair there’s a lot going on in his family that I’m sure is tanking his spirit, but he can have such a quick and nasty temper sometimes over the stupidest stuff like not fixing his car keys. I’m just so tired and I know financially being a single parent will be a a lot harder but I think our home life will be easier. No more piles of stuff he can find to take out but has no clue where to put back. No more bad attitude or wasting my time pretending to do something for way too flipping long than making me just do it. I’m just so tired.

Some background info: I have a 3.5 yo boy, 13mo boy, and we lost a late term pregnancy (TFMR due to significant abnormalities) in 2024 between the two of them.

I have been on a leave of absence from work since May because I was dealing with some really heavy things: newly diagnosed ADHD, PTSD from our TFMR (duh), and more than likely PPD. I am supposed to go back to work on September 8th and I feel like I am worse than ever. Before, I was just really sad and clearly had to confront and deal with my grief. Now, I am DEPRESSED and I get activated at the tiniest of things.

This morning, my son (3.5 yo) hit me because he was frustrated about getting ready for daycare. He is, in general, a really sweet kid, but he's 3.5 so obviously he has his moments. Normally, I would be able to just walk away and come back to him later OR be able to calmly explain why it's not okay, etc. Lately, my blood pressure INSTANTLY spikes and I need to get away from him IMMEDIATELY. I went into my bedroom and slammed the door while he watched. Then I was a crying wreck because how is my son supposed to be able to learn how to control his emotions if I can't model it for him?

The other day I was so aggravated because it was chaos trying to get the boys ready to get out the door. But the thing is, it wasn't chaos....it was just how it normally is trying to get two young kids ready while also getting myself ready and the house cleaned up from breakfast. Then I start crying because I'm just a shell of the person that I used to be and I feel so hopeless.

I am in therapy and working on figuring out the right ADHD/Anxiety/Depression cocktail for me, but waiting for all of those things to align and actually start working is pure torture.

When these things happen, I fall into such a pit of despair and I get so sad for my kids having to live with a person like me. My husband also gets the brunt of it and that isn't fair either.

I don't know what I'm looking for here, but I needed to write it out.

I’m a single mom and have been getting weird ads on my computer. After doing some digging around, I found some unpleasant search history. I guess I’m more confused because it’s for circumcised blowjobs. Why would he be searching this stuff? Has anyone dealt with this before? He’s 12.

Hi everybody, yesterday I called my district's bus barn to see what was going on with my daughters bus schedule. I was told I was denied a bus ride, due to a note in their system saying I accepted that my daughter would only have a bus ride for 2 years instead of her entire schooling. I dont know who would accept that, I never signed any forms. And when we were told that when my daughter started kindergarten almost 4 years ago we fought it until we were told it wouldnt be a problem.

School starts tomorrow and no one felt the need to talk to me or notify me. I can't get ahold of the adminastor of the bus barn. I had to find out from my daughters bus driver last year that there are two community stops, one in town or one further out on the highway. Both are 10 minutes away, but my problem is every other kid either lives down the road where the community pick ups are or is getting picked up. My daughters school has a total of 23 kids. All kids that go to this school are in a different district than the actual school they are going to, other than about 5 kids. We chose this school for the community instead of putting her in a class of 30 kids, we decided her being in a small class of 4 was a better option for her elementary years. And she loves this school and has made friends with almost every other kid. I dont know what to do. Not only that but the school is able to do more for the kids. There's more field trips and more one on one time with the teachers.

If I would've been told this even last week that we were being denied bussing,I could've done something instead of scrambling to get ahold of someone to figure the situation out. This school is about 25 minutes further out of town than my 10 minute drive to town from my home. One bus picks up at 6:20 in the morning while the other is 7. I havent been told drop off times though or a bus number for the in town pickup.

Heck I can even see the the town bus and my bus from last year drive by our house because we aren't even a 1/4 mile away from the highway.

Id be more willing to drive her out to school everyday and pick her up if I didnt have a 3 year old and a 1 year old whose schedules are going to be massively messed up if I have to get them up to drive them with me to a bus stop or out to the school every morning.

Basically im just really frusterated with the bus barn and wish things would've been communicated better so we could've came up with a better solution. Sorry if this is the wrong subreddit for this but im at a loss. Do I go to the super intendant? Straight to the state? The people I have been talking with at the bus barn have just talked over me and basically told me I had no choice in the matter. There's been no help and im just very frusterated. Thank you guys for any ideas on how to remedy my situation.