r/Mom

Membrane sweep, my due date is next Wednesday, I’ve had some cramping and lots of pelvic pressure/pain. I am not really sure how women get the membrane sweep? Do you ask for it? Is it for just women who are high risk? I’d like to ask for it because I have never been more uncomfortable in my life. For reference, I’m 4’11, I’ve always been around 94lbs now I’m 136, so I’m reallllyyyy feeling it now! Just wondering how to go about it, what it’s about!

And yes I did research about it but like hearing other moms opinions❤️

Hello. This is kind of random, but I’m in a lot of pain, and trying to convince myself that other people will not attack me or leave me simply for being in pain. If your child was in pain, how would you react? Would you make sure they’re doing ok? This world feels unbearable and unfeasible when I’m constantly having to secondhand the very core of our Humanity, so please send help. ❤️

Hello, I’m a 20yo planning on adopting a toddler soon and I have no idea how parenting works! I turn 21 next month and thats the age you have to be to legally adopt, but I’ve been taking care of her on weekends and a couple days over the summer. I have my own place and a stable job, so income wont really be an issue. I’m mostly considered about her health and emotional needs. The toddler is a family friend of a friend, her mom is currently struggling with a crack addiction and her dad does not want to be the full time parent. He has full custody but has been leaving the baby at my aunts house mostly. My aunt has 6 kids of her own so the toddler is extra stress on her rn, and my family asked me if I would want to take her in. Shes about 19mo and the most adorable little girl ever, me and her bonded pretty much the first time I met her. She can walk, talk, has personality, favorite foods. Shes been evaluated by a pediatrician and they say she is way too small for her age, and suggested I get her on a meal plan asap. They told me to make a list of her favorite foods and then try to get those more protein dense, also suggested powders and stuff. She eats normally (i think. Im not sure how much a 2 yo is supposed to eat. I promise im trying to research as much as possible but before this i wasnt planning on being a mom so its hard figuring everything out so fast!) but since she was born with drugs in her system her body has trouble retaining the food and actually using it for nutrients. Luckily the mom didnt start using again until later on in the pregnancy, so the kid is relatively healthy minus her weight and a few scars/sores. I want to take her to get bloodwork done and full evaluation to make sure she actually is healthy, but I have to wait until adoption paperwork clears. She isnt alarmingly skinny, but def small enough to where you’d guess shes way younger. I’m vegetarian and struggle with my own food intake, so I do realize this is something I’m going to have to get serious and plan about pretty soon. Please feel free to drop any parenting tips or helpful advice, especially as it relates to nutrition! Thank you

Hi moms,

I’m curious about the small things that genuinely helped you day to day — not the expensive baby products or perfect Instagram advice, but the real practical stuff.

It could be a habit, a routine, something your partner/family did, a mindset shift, or even something you stopped doing.

What’s one small thing that made motherhood feel a little easier for you?

I'm a physician, and soon to be first time Mom! ...I also have T2DM and PCOS, which means I need to pay attention to my health. And also from a culture with patriarchial norms...

My question is, how do you guys do it? We can afford maybe a weekly cleaner, but that doesnt substitute for daily tasks. Things like preparing breakfast, lunch, and dinner, everyday. Cleaning the kitchen afterward. Making the bed. The laundry (we live in a big city, high COL, and NO in unit laundry). Washing the dishes (we have no dishwasher in this stupid apt). I want to be a present mom. Sure, hire some help part of the time, but I want my kid to know me. Work is demanding as ever, being expected to see late and walk in patients and being available to them 24/7 despite only being really paid or contracted for 50 hours a week. Later this summer my in laws are coming, and from a country where they had maids do everything. I'm sure they'll be visiting time and time again. I dont know how to balance work and childcare with their daily chores. Their maid back at home did daily mopping, dishes, laundry-cooked 3 fresh meals everyday...it's exhausting for me to do here all alone, on TOP OF my job as a doc.

I simply dont know how I'll balance it all. Would love any and all advice.

I’m due with my first in December. My mom lives 6 hours away, but she wants to come live-in with us right after the baby is born to help out. She said she could come help for as long as I want, and it seems like she‘s thinking weeks to a month. My husband will take the first month off with PTO, then go back to work, then once I’m ready to go back to work, he will take his 3 months of paternity leave so we don’t have to start childcare as soon.

As much as I know how important having a village is and how I should not take it for granted, it’s hard for me to know what I’ll need and for how long when I’m postpartum. There’s a big part of me that wants to figure out our rhythm as parents and bond with our new baby. However, I know that postpartum healing can be difficult and exhausting. Most of our friends and all of our family live 5+ hours away. My mom is a great mom, but she has already been going overboard on buying things for baby and acting like I don’t know what I need to buy, which makes me feel underestimated. I worry that she‘ll be telling me how I should parent and how to be a mother during a time when I get to decide how to do those things, along with my husband. Having family constantly dropping in to help is much different compared to a family member staying for weeks at a time with no break. I just wonder if it would be better if she stays immediately after birth, or if it would be more helpful when my husband goes back to work and I’m by myself with baby, which would be after we’ve had time to settle in. I think the length of time will be much easier to determine once we’re in it. I’m wondering if anyone has any insight or wisdom if they’ve been through something similar. Thank you <3

What is the solution for someone suffering from Mommy Issues? I suffer from it

Is it normal to still feel down 4 months postpartum, im a first time mom and when I had my baby everything hit and im really young (22) it hurt unfortunately. I don’t know what happened but I cried so much in the hospital just worrying about going home and taking care of my baby with my partner and idk I just did not want to leave the hospital. I didn’t want my partner to go back to work like I just didn’t wanna be alone and now that my baby is 4 months it just feels like im forcing myself to be ok when im not like I need help but idk im so lost and I just worry so much. It’s not like we don’t help but it’s just all overwhelming like I worry she gets bored sometimes because im not doing enough. The whole first month she was here I cried myself to sleep telling my partner I need help idk I love my baby but I suck and k really don’t know what to do. I always try smiling and being in a good mood for my baby because I know that’s what she needs she doesn’t need to see her mom all worried or sad because then she’ll be but im struggling on the inside, I cry just looking at her sleep in my arms idk it just doesn’t feel normal and it’s not okay

Hi everyone,

I’ve been thinking about this a lot and I’m curious what other parents feel.

There are so many services now — babysitters, daycare, cleaners, grocery delivery, meal kits, etc. On paper it seems like there should be a lot of support available.

But even with all of that, mom burnout still feels really high.

I keep wondering if the issue isn’t lack of services, but more that most help still requires planning ahead, scheduling, or coordinating everything in advance.

Real life doesn’t always work like that though.

There are so many moments like:

everything piling up at once

kids needing constant attention while chores don’t stop

unexpected errands or emergencies

just feeling completely overwhelmed in the moment

In those moments, even having services doesn’t always help because it’s not instant or flexible enough for “right now.”

Do you think burnout would be lower if there was more quick, on-demand support available — not just scheduled help, but something that could step in fast when things get overwhelming?

Like a system where you could quickly get an extra set of hands for small things in the moment, instead of having to push through until you can schedule help later?

Or do you think burnout would still be the same no matter what services exist?

I’m really curious how other parents see this ❤️

Hi my obgyn asked me to count kicks and I am on week 31. My baby has fast rolling movement and kicks someday but like yesterday evening and today, there are very slow movements and not much kicks (skin stretching outside)

Is this normal? I went to ER once in the past to check on movement. I got a home Doppler but doc mentioned relying on kicks/movement is more important

Did you all have similar experience with your babies? Where the movement always consistent or it changed. How did you assured yourself everything is good when baby has a slow movements days?

Hi everyone,

I’m curious how other parents handle situations where you need help with your kids right away, but there’s no family or trusted support nearby.

For example:

You need childcare for a couple hours but it’s last-minute

You have an appointment or errand and can’t bring your kids

Something comes up unexpectedly and you’re stuck

You just need a short break but don’t have anyone to call

What do you usually do in those moments?

Do you:

Cancel or reschedule things?

Push through and manage alone?

Ask a friend or neighbor last-minute?

Use any kind of babysitting or help service?

I’ve also been thinking about how in those moments, what people often really need isn’t always full childcare — sometimes it’s just an extra set of hands nearby. Kind of like a quick, on-demand help system where someone could come for short time blocks and help with things like:

watching the kids for 30–60 minutes

folding laundry or washing dishes

helping prep or cook a quick meal

keeping an eye on the kids while you reset or get things done

being a “second set of hands” when things feel overwhelming

More like flexible help for small moments, instead of needing to plan everything ahead or handle it all alone.

I’m not sure how realistic or comfortable something like that would feel in real life, so I’m really curious how parents actually manage these situations.

Would love to hear your experiences ❤️

I’ve been with my husband for 11 years now. Married for 5 years and we have a two year old. I’m very protective of my family (always have been) and I get uncomfortable sharing pictures with people other than close family and friends. My husband was talking about a childhood friends mom saying how she wanted to see pictures of our child. Yeah sure no biggy! Send one I said. But then he said that he’s been sending his friend and also the sister pictures occasionally. I don’t like the friends sister and he knows that. She has been rude to me on many occasions and it was pretty obvious that she had a crush on my husband when we were younger. I’m trying not to be upset or weird about it and I told him that makes me uncomfortable. Especially sending pictures that I felt were special and just for us and not saying anything about sharing them. Idk if I’m just being overprotective and maybe insecure?? Doesn’t help that he’s also being weird and like super unnecessary helpful all of the sudden? Like??? Idk

Before becoming a mom, I heard a lot about sleepless nights and diaper changes, but I feel like the emotional and mental side of motherhood isn’t talked about enough.

What’s one thing about becoming a mom that genuinely surprised you or that you wish someone had prepared you for?

Has anyone here had other women who have already had children come up to you and say certain things that pissed you off? For example I was working the other day and my co-workers just figured out im pregnant and once I shared with them I slept a good 9 hours before my night shift they immediately started saying to me. Well sleep while you can because once the baby is here you wont get that… its like can I please just enjoy my pregnancy without other women rubbing off their own negative experiences off on other women. Not everyone has the same experiences it’s so diverse and just because yours wasn’t what you wanted. ITS SO ANNOYING… whenever I am happy its another woman trying to scared me in a way about my blessing.

I also had a co-worker tell me. It’ll be better for me to get a c-section. Because then my husband will be happier. Like wtf???? Seriously. I swear I would love to slap some of these women who have the audacity to say this to other women. I feel like other women cant handle other women who aren’t struggling in their pregnancy/motherhood. Like please stop rubbing off your misery on us we are not all miserable in our lives…

just wanna shout out women who have more than 1 kid. i’m pregnant with my first, due july 21st but any day now and i could not imagine going through pregnancy while having another child. i just want to sleep all day and be left alone. especially these women who do 2 under 2! GIRL HOW?!?! yall are really super women and should take an extra second to acknowledge how strong you are 💅✨👏

Hi there, I have two boys under the age of seven. Over the past few years, I’ve become increasingly miserable towards my kids. I feel chronically unhappy, constantly frustrated with them, and I find myself screaming, yelling, and telling them they’re terrible. I just want to rip my hair out. What on earth is wrong with me? I feel like everything is catching up to me, and I’m just so incredibly miserable. I loved being a mother in the beginning but now I'm just sad and hateful.