u/ladylikelazarus

This just happened a couple hours ago so I feel the need to share to get it out of my system hopefully!

I'm 8 months post partum and I went to the gym this evening (only time of the day I have to myself is when my husband gets home so anywhere from 7pm to 9pm) and I ended up injuring myself at the end of one of my sets.

I was doing step ups about 15 inches off the ground and I missed my step coming down and rolled on my ankle. Hit the floor and in lots of pain! I couldn't stand up or put any pressure on it without feeling sharp pain.

Worse part is, I'm in a back room of the gym facility, completely alone. No one is around. It's late. A few people are at the front of the gym with headphones on. I realized I'm stuck here on the floor in pain alone.

I started yelling for help but no one heard me (I'm in a very far back area, usually used for personal trainers but members are allowed if not in use. I like the privacy it made me feel like I was at my own private gym area.)

I called my husband on my phone and told him the situation. Our 8 month old is asleep by now so it was a chaotic conversation but my husband's on his way over. Contacted my mom who's 20 minutes away to come over to watch our son. So having to wait on her and my husband. All alone. Then there's the gym, its one of those 24 hour lets members in with a finger print scanner and I was worried he wasn't going to be able to get anyone to let him in.

I was trying to see if I could hold myself up against the wall but I couldn't keep my balance and my ankle was painful. I felt helpless and embarrassed.

Then for whatever reason I thought about my baby and I thought about crawling. So I crawled. On my hands and knees just like my 8 month old does all day.

I crawled to the front of the gym down two hallways and reached for a light switch I found. I started flickering the lights to grab someone's attention and it worked. Someone saw me and rushed over. Very kind people helped me up on a rolling chair and helped me until my husband showed up.

So yeah! Im super embarrassed. That's the last time I work out in an isolated area and I'm sure the video footage is hilarious. Word of caution, do not work out in an isolated area! Anything can happen!

I can't wait to tell my son one day that I thought about him crawling and it kinda helped me!

Still feeling adrenaline and pain and stupidity. I hope I can overcome the embarrassment and come back to work out once healed. I'm just a new mom trying to feel herself again.

Long story short: my husband left Thrusday for a 4 day work related trip to Montana (9 hours away) and we've been fighting about it for months. He originally told his job he couldn't go (would not be penalized for it as its a recreational team building thing) because its my first mother's day and he wanted to do something special for me. Then he spoke with his parents who changed his mind and thought he'd be missing out on bonding with his coworkers and boss. Its an opportunity to potentially become closer to the company and not be the odd man out who didn't go. Needless to say, we decided to try couples counseling because we couldn't come to an understanding of each other.

Fast forward to present day, our couples counselor recommended radical acceptance of the trip and I came to terms that he was going and he was to make an effort to make sure I still felt seen, heard and valued.

My mother thankfully was able to sleep over those nights he was gone to help me with my 5 month old. Let's just say my mom is.....a little half in and half out when it comes to parenting and being motherly. My childhood was dysfunctional and its apparent now why I grew up self-reliant and hyper independent. She even commented how no wonder I'm tired as a stay-at-home mom I'm always busy and I never get a break. She was a working mom so she never saw it from the otherside. So most of the weekend, I felt like I was mothering 2 people. But I'm still grateful for the help I was able to get and for her to realize this is a lot of work too.

Now, after communicating with my husband about how hard this weekend has been and how tired I am and how happy I am that he's coming home.....I picked him up from the airport this evening and he goes "so what do you want to eat tonight?"

No reservations made, no thought behind it, no effort. He offered to cook steaks at home knowing that I don't even like steak. He likes steak. He gave me a mother's day card and bought me a fridge magnet and a sticker that says "Montana."

I told him I'm disappointed that after all the counseling and time he had to plan before and after his work trip he still is basically asking me to plan my mother's day dinner. My first mother's day.

He said "I'm sorry I tried." So then I left and went to a nice seafood restaurant nearby, sat at the bar and ordered myself dinner and a drink. It was peaceful and nice. I had an hour and thirty minutes to feel like a person again.

I'm going to let him lead with couples counseling this week. I don't think there's anything more I can do. I'm proud of myself for standing up for myself and taking myself out to dinner to honor my special day. My baby boy deserves a happy momma.