The 'empty nest' of the school day is hitting me hard. My youngest starts kindergarten in two weeks, and after 12 years of being the primary caregiver, I’m struggling with the loss of that identity.
I’ve poured everything into being a full-time parent, and the thought of quiet days even the ones where I can finally use the bathroom in peace just feels heavy.
My husband and I recently got married and we came to the conclusion that he makes enough for me to stay at home and be a homemaker. I am SO grateful. I absolutely prefer being at home to ANY job. I've worked so many different jobs and come to the conclusion that I would much rather be at home than anything else. However, what I'm finding is that the days are going by really fast. After cleaning, cooking and grocery shopping, my husband is already home and I had no time for me. No breaks. No time to reflect and live. I was really hoping that staying at home would mean I get time to do the things I want to do like workout, go on walks, work on personal projects. Instead I cook and clean all day and I don't even have kids. How is this happening?!!! Anyone else expirience something similar?
I am in a golf tournament this coming weekend, my whole family entered in this tournament. My niece (13 year) was suppose to babysit my two young (4 and 2) kids plus my other sisters young kid (2 years old ) too. We’ve known about it for months as we are the ones who set the tournament up. We held the tournament last year to who I also got the same niece to babysit. I told her she could bring a friend to help and we would pay them both. My kids have met her few friends and I know they like her friends. But my niece recently got a boyfriend- by the time the tournament will happen it will maybe be three weeks since she’s had this boyfriend. My daughter who is 4 has met the boyfriend once already when she was over at my sisters house playing with her younger daughter. My daughter has a hard time with male figures I’ve figured out as she doesn’t like her male teacher at her pre school. I’m honestly upset that my sister would even think it’s okay for my niece to babysit my kids with her boyfriend who she’s only been dating for three weeks and has already seen how uncomfortable it made my daughter to be around him and now she’s going to be around him all day. I don’t have anyone else to watch my kids and this tournament we are doing is in honour of our grandpa. I’m not sure if or what I should even say to my sister. She never asked me if I would even be okay if it was my niece bringing her boyfriend and I feel like that should have been a question she asked me.. and now we are less than a week from the tournament happening.
As we all know it’s summer break so my son is home allday and my husband works from home. My son made a couple new friends who live in our apartment complex. My son is 7. The kids are 7 and 8. They come over alot or my son goes to their apartment. They also go to the pool a lot. I’m always supervising because my son is autistic. He’s not very aware of his surroundings. The other kids are always running out and about without supervision. But that’s not my business. Well today they came over and were playing video games. I left to return some books to the library, my husband was in the next room if they needed anything. I was barely gone 10 minutes and I guess one made my son cry by hitting him with a soccer ball. I’m sure it was an accident but it made my son cry . Then my husband texted me that the kids are banned from our house and that he yelled at them and “ scared the shit outve them”. For making my son cry. I wasn’t here but I know my husband can be terrifying when he’s angry. I’m scared sometimes. But I’m wondering. There has to be a better way to deal with the situation than screaming? He said one started crying. I’m wondering, could the parents call the police on him for that? Or was it justified. I’m almost hoping they call the police so my husband can learn a lesson. I just don’t feel they should’ve been yelled at like that. And I’m tired of my husband losing his shit
That men aren’t completely useless with approx 75% of tasks they are given, by their wives.
Literally I end up having to do everything myself bc the thought process in their minds is so different and we like things done a certain way.
With the exception of working, paying bills, cutting lawn and taking care of the cars and outside of the home, he is just clueless!
He’s not maliciously like this, this is a lack of grasping the depth needed to be an involved parent. It’s almost like an inability to tap into what the child needs. I get frustrated he’s not doing exactly what a mother would do. Do I need to accept that this is just how he is as a dad? It lacks emotional depth.
Doesn’t have the softness, the patience, the ability to see things and anticipate an outcome, JUST DOESNT THINK. ARE THEIR MEN OUT THERE THAT DONT NEED TO BE TOLD WHAT TO DO 100000000 times????
Again- this seems like this is a handicap of this individual I am realizing .
throwaway account, obviously.
so this happened this week and i still don't know what to think. some woman i've never met messages me out of nowhere on fb messager it went to spam and I happened to randomly check it earlier today, saying her kid works with my husband and he's been making female coworkers uncomfortable, AND that he's bragging to people he swapped my birth control for sugar pills.
My birth control is blister packs so obviously id notice if that was true, secondly the man cant spemd shit without me knowing about it i control all the finances. SO my husband was running his mouth about something that isn't even true, or this whole message is made up for some reason i can't figure out. Which im not even surprised that he would brag about that. I also found out im about 8 weeks pregnant a few days ago...
the part that's actually eating at me though isn't even that. it's that he's said multiple separate times, not as one dumb joke, that getting married made him "more attractive to other women." like that's just a thing he says now.
i'm pregnant, home alone with our 11 month old most of the day already, and this is what i get to deal with on top of it. Is the "marriage made me hotter to women" line as big a red flag as it feels like right now, or am i overreacting? and has anyone else gotten a random message like this out of nowhere is it ever legit, or is it always some kind of angle? I got my cpc certificate in may and have been job hunting like crazy but I dont have much Healthcare experience and have only gotten 1 interview that didnt even seem remotely interested in actually hiring me. We cant really afford childcare on just his income and now im even more lost with another on the way, and absolutely pissed off. Update next day i sent him and his mom the messages and had a miscarriage a few hours later so I havent began to mess with this.
First time mom here... and I am 13 weeks postpartum.
Motherhood has been both graceful and painful at the same time. Some days I feel so much love, and other days I feel so lost, tired, angry and numb.
I’m trying to understand what I’m feeling. Is this just "normal new mom exhaustion" or is it more? I feel guilty even asking…I feel like I’m not asking the right question either..
I would love to hear from other moms here:
- Did you go through something similar around this time?
- What helped you feel a little more like yourself again?
Thank you for reading. Just typing this out helps.
I’m due in August and have been doing light at home workouts but I’m curious what moms of 2+ kids are doing as far as working out.
Are y’all going to the gym? Do you go for runs? Do you take the kids? Hubby watches them? Etc.
I used to love staying home with my first baby. Now that we had another baby and our oldest is two and a half, I’ve been in fucking shambles. I don’t know how anyone does it. My toddler thankfully started preschool three days a week but the two days I’m home I feel so miserable and overwhelmed. My baby is starting daycare two days a week next month so I can substitute teach and I’m counting down the days. The last seven months since our baby was born has ripped my mental health to shreds. I’m working with a doctor and therapist also. Thanks for reading, wondering if anyone else related. I love my babies but I am DYING to get some time away from them.
We're moving and could use help with our toddler...
All tips and tricks with how to get her to help/stay out of the way
Or really anything that could help us with the move with her is more then welcome
Hi! I'm a mom of two and I've been a SAHM for about 15 months.
Among my family and friends, I'm the only one living this kind of life. All the other moms have gone back to work, so sometimes it feels like my choice is seen as unusual.
I often get asked when I'm going back to work, and some comments make me feel uncomfortable, even though I know they're not always meant in a negative way.
I'm wondering if anyone else here is in the same situation. Are you also the only SAHM in your family or friend group? Do you feel any pressure to go back to work, or find it difficult to connect with people who understand this stage of life?
Hi! SAHM to a 2 year old and 6 month old. My husband has been on nightshift since before I got pregnant with my 6 month old. Since then we have had the same recurring fight. He works 5p-3:30a. He goes to sleep around 5a and wakes around 12:30/1p. That is when my kids are typically going down for a nap so he doesn’t really have much parenting to do on weekdays since he gets ready to leave while they are just waking up from their nap. I feel like he should go to sleep earlier on the weekends and get up and help me with them. Instead he stays up having all this me time snacking and playing video games while we are sleeping. He gets Friday, Saturday, Sunday off. If I try to get him up a little early like 11 in the morning, he complains the entire day about how tired he is and will keep trying to take a nap. All I want is less time solo parenting on the weekends. Is that asking too much? Should I leave his circadian rhythm be since this is providing a wonderful life for us?
My husband works away, sometimes for months on end. For the most part I just star at home and find things to around my town. The odd time I will travel to his family towns for family functions. Or I will travel out of town usually for different appointments (I live in rural town and have travel a few hours to any major city).
My dilemma is I want to do two things 1.) go to a concert that my mom and sister are going to to a city a few hours away
2. Take my kids to a different city also a few hours away to have a little trip and do some fun stuff.
My husband has already told me I can go on my second trip as I’ll be staying with family and it’ll be relatively low cost. I asked my husband about the concert a few months and he basically gave me a hard time about going as he thinks I should save money and thinks that if I’m doing any sort of traveling it should be to go visit him. My issue with visiting him is he works out on country for one so I need to take a plane to see him and two I end up being by myself with our two kids in a different country. I’ve gone a few times to visit him but it’s really difficult and it’s usually planned around a time he’s already home so I can fly with him and have help on the plane.
I really want to go to this concert because since becoming a mom I haven’t really had a whole lot of opportunities to do fun things. I become a mom 4 years ago and have only done a handful of things by myself. So am I being unfair by thinking I should be allowed to go to this concert? He’s always out doing all sorts of things while he’s away at work because he’s kidless. But the last few months he has been trying to cut back on his outings and finds things to do that are low cost (fishing, hunting, going to the gym, that type of stuff) but in the past while he’s been away at work, he’s flown to a different state to party and go to concert with friends, gone to car festival thing, gone out to multiple bars. So while he’s had his fair share of fun while I’m stuck at home, he’s now giving me a hard to about wanting to do something because we are trying to be a little bit smart with our money. But this is literally one thing I want to do and it’s not actually going to affect us to much money wise, it’s just that we are trying to save some money up.
Moms who have husbands who work away, how do you go about doing different outings and such? I feel like this would be a lot different if we lived in a bigger city but since we had to travel so far, it makes our circumstances a little different but I’d loved to hear from other sahm moms who’s husbands work away how you guys handle these types of situations.
Hi! i honestly am just over this whole situation and need to vent.
my husband and I moved to where my family is, but we moved a little closer to his family. (my family is 20 minutes away, his is 40ish). his family never makes the effort to come see us, or come see our child. I constantly am the one who is reaching out, figuring out plans, going over to his moms, etc.
anyway, he has one sister (& a lot of brothers). i really thought we had a pretty good relationship (despite her saying I was “taking him away” and how he only spent time with me when we first started dating years ago..)
she is quite younger than us, but an adult. i really worked on having a relationship but I feel like no matter what I do, i’m always coming up short.
We split our holidays with our families & try to make an effort to see both families and make everyone feel special. this year we decide to just stay local for the holiday. I then received a message from his sister saying that what are we doing with plans & we only ever see my family.
i’m honestly tired, i answered kinda snapping back and feel like now our relationship is just kinda in a grey area. but honestly im tired of her always nit picking everything about me, my parenting (she’s not a parent yet), analyzing my social media & reporting things to my husband that she didn’t like about my socials, always making commmets about MY family.
im just over it. i was hoping our families could come to a point where they could be close together all as well, but i don’t think this will ever happen.
I desperately want to stay home but my husband is a teacher. Family of 4. Some debt and living in an apartment.
First off, I love and adore dogs. Always have, and we don’t deserve them.
That said, I’m currently pregnant with our second child (Due in August) and we have a young toddler too, who is about to be 18 months. Now of course I feel very blessed that I get to be home with them and my husband takes wonderful care of us and is very involved.
However lately he’s been saying that he wants a dog. In general I’m not opposed, but realistically I know I can’t handle having to train a puppy and take care of two little kids at the same time. He suggested hiring someone to train them, but I’m not sure if that’s a good idea. I’ve trained family dogs before so I’m comfortable doing it, I think it’ll just be too much for me right now.
To be fair I did say we could get one when our youngest is older maybe 2 or 3. I don’t know I guess I wanted to vent, but any advice is welcome if any if you have done anything like this.
Also just to note, my husband HAS NOT ever implied that he thinks I’m being unreasonable or a jerk, but he does get a bit sad when I shut him down, so I just naturally feel bad.
How are we doing Mamas’ and littles? Not sure where y’all are but the heatwave has been CRAZY where I am!
They said that locals shouldn’t light fireworks at home due to possibly lighting your yard on fire and the local fire teams are set up for tonight’s festivities.
Anywho, are y’all actually going out and doing anything today or this evening? I feel like I want to celebrate, but with this heat I can’t do it.
Also friendly reminder to drink your water and/or electrolytes today!
Happy 4th!!!
I’m just curious and wondering what other SAHMs husbands do for work. My husband owns a business + does real estate investing. And I stay home with our three littles💓
Husband “helped” me a few months ago by “watching” the kids while I folded laundry. I come out an hour later to permanent marker all over the walls, the kids hadn’t been fed and a mess. He wouldn’t clean the marker. Said its not his job to clean, I should have had the marker put up (it was they got a step stool and climbed up for it and he didn’t notice), he’s not cleaning it he doesn’t care. The marker sat on the walls for months. I finally caved and scrubbed it off 3 days ago. He then “helped” and “watched” them again so I could take a nap. I scrubbed all the walls and cabinets and I was tired. I come out, same thing. Marker all over the walls. In the exact same spots I just scrubbed clean. I’m sitting here sobbing because he’s refusing to clean it again.
It’s really not a big deal but im so sick and tired of having to do more free work because someone won’t do anything but sit on the couch and watch tv. Its 2 pm. He wont get up because he’s tired from being up until 7 am. He was up all night playing video games. Trashed my clean kitchen, and went to bed with a full dishwasher of clean dishes and the load of laundry done in the dryer. It’s never occurred to him he should handle that.
I love being at home with my 14 month old but sometimes we just need to get the F out of the house! But I feel like every time we leave suddenly we’ve spent $100?! What are you guys doing to get out of the house that doesn’t cost money?! ETA: it’s hot af where I live so being outside sometimes isn’t feasible 🙁