u/Ok_Cauliflower_2143

I am in a golf tournament this coming weekend, my whole family entered in this tournament. My niece (13 year) was suppose to babysit my two young (4 and 2) kids plus my other sisters young kid (2 years old ) too. We’ve known about it for months as we are the ones who set the tournament up. We held the tournament last year to who I also got the same niece to babysit. I told her she could bring a friend to help and we would pay them both. My kids have met her few friends and I know they like her friends. But my niece recently got a boyfriend- by the time the tournament will happen it will maybe be three weeks since she’s had this boyfriend. My daughter who is 4 has met the boyfriend once already when she was over at my sisters house playing with her younger daughter. My daughter has a hard time with male figures I’ve figured out as she doesn’t like her male teacher at her pre school. I’m honestly upset that my sister would even think it’s okay for my niece to babysit my kids with her boyfriend who she’s only been dating for three weeks and has already seen how uncomfortable it made my daughter to be around him and now she’s going to be around him all day. I don’t have anyone else to watch my kids and this tournament we are doing is in honour of our grandpa. I’m not sure if or what I should even say to my sister. She never asked me if I would even be okay if it was my niece bringing her boyfriend and I feel like that should have been a question she asked me.. and now we are less than a week from the tournament happening.

My husband works away, sometimes for months on end. For the most part I just star at home and find things to around my town. The odd time I will travel to his family towns for family functions. Or I will travel out of town usually for different appointments (I live in rural town and have travel a few hours to any major city).

My dilemma is I want to do two things 1.) go to a concert that my mom and sister are going to to a city a few hours away
2. Take my kids to a different city also a few hours away to have a little trip and do some fun stuff.

My husband has already told me I can go on my second trip as I’ll be staying with family and it’ll be relatively low cost. I asked my husband about the concert a few months and he basically gave me a hard time about going as he thinks I should save money and thinks that if I’m doing any sort of traveling it should be to go visit him. My issue with visiting him is he works out on country for one so I need to take a plane to see him and two I end up being by myself with our two kids in a different country. I’ve gone a few times to visit him but it’s really difficult and it’s usually planned around a time he’s already home so I can fly with him and have help on the plane.

I really want to go to this concert because since becoming a mom I haven’t really had a whole lot of opportunities to do fun things. I become a mom 4 years ago and have only done a handful of things by myself. So am I being unfair by thinking I should be allowed to go to this concert? He’s always out doing all sorts of things while he’s away at work because he’s kidless. But the last few months he has been trying to cut back on his outings and finds things to do that are low cost (fishing, hunting, going to the gym, that type of stuff) but in the past while he’s been away at work, he’s flown to a different state to party and go to concert with friends, gone to car festival thing, gone out to multiple bars. So while he’s had his fair share of fun while I’m stuck at home, he’s now giving me a hard to about wanting to do something because we are trying to be a little bit smart with our money. But this is literally one thing I want to do and it’s not actually going to affect us to much money wise, it’s just that we are trying to save some money up.

Moms who have husbands who work away, how do you go about doing different outings and such? I feel like this would be a lot different if we lived in a bigger city but since we had to travel so far, it makes our circumstances a little different but I’d loved to hear from other sahm moms who’s husbands work away how you guys handle these types of situations.

I feel like this all started to come about when I started having kids. It was just little things here and there but I’m noticing more and more things that are starting to bother me.

I don’t like any clothing, blanket, or towels touching the floor or else I feel like it’s dirty and can’t use it and will re wash it if something hits the floor after taking it out of the dryer. Sometimes I will really talk with my self and tell my self that it’s not really that dirty and it’ll be okay.

When I make my bed, I hate my sheets touching the floor while I’m trying to get it made.

When I spray my counters I have to make sure there’s no food or anything that would touch my lips near by or else I fear I’m going to spray chemicals on it.

I hate going to my sisters house because I feel like there house just isn’t clean and I feel gross after leaving and want to change as soon as I get home.

There is a few other little things that I do that I can’t think of and will edit my post if I think of them.

There’s some things that I think should bother me but they don’t. And I don’t fear getting sick but it’s just really random things that bother me. But I’m not sure if should seek out help because I feel like it’s not the severe and I can usually go about my day fine but I also don’t want it to get severe either because I feel like it is slowly getting worse.

I’ve started struggling really hard lately with my anger while parenting my kids. I have a 2 and 4 year old. I’m solo parenting everyday for weeks sometimes months on end with dad usually only being for maybe 2 weeks at a time.

Lately my 4 year old has been really testing me and I hate to admit it but I lose my cool with her pretty easily. She’s always been a pretty good kid but lately her listening has just gone to shit. I have to ask her 5 times before she listens and usually I have to yell within those 5 times of me asking her. She’s been straight up just ignoring me at times too and then I get so furious with her. She does this high pitch squeal at me too when she doesn’t get her way and that instantly sends me into rage. Normally I could keep my cool for a lot longer but i havent been able to control it lately. I hate that ive become like this. I know that shes only learnt her screaming from me. She will scream for other reasons too when she gets upset and i know shes only learnt that from me.

I know i am probably burnt out which is causing me to be like this. I do have somewhat of a support system with my family but I know they are busy to and I can’t rely on them but I don’t know how to change. The littlest thing sets me off with my 4 year old, and I feel really bad for taking it out on her. Her listening has been really crap lately thing and I’m just struggling really hard with that. I don’t know how else to fix this problem. I know some people might suggest hiring a babysitter to help me at times but i hate leaving my children with just anyone. Only a select few have watched my children and it’s only been family. My 4 year old year will sometimes go to ore school twice a week but lately shes been really struggling with leaving me lately so i havent been sending her.I can’t get my 2 year old in school till hes 2.5. What else can i do to helo control my anger…i really hate being like this.

My toddler who just turned 2 has to twiddle my boobs to fall asleep. I breastfed him till 14 months and then weaned him. At first he didn’t twiddle with them. It’s probably been the last 6 or so months that he’s picked this habit up. He will want to twiddle with them when he’s become upset or hurt himself. It’s honestly getting super annoying and I just want my body back to myself. Sometimes he can pinch quite hard too. How have you gotten your toddler to stop twiddling? Did you find a fidget toy of some sorts to replace your boobs? I need this to stop

This is honestly just a rant. My husband and I ( we aren’t legally married) have been together 7 years this summer. We have had many ups but honestly more downs in our relationship and I’ve honestly just hoped we could get through them but I’m at my breaking point now and just want to leave him now.

I’ve never caught him cheating but he constantly accuses me of cheating or being “sus” in his words. I’ve never once cheated on him. He works away, sometimes months on end and I’m stuck at home with the kids. Our kids are my whole life, I do everything and anything for them. I rarely have anytime for myself, it’s just now starting to get a little better as they are getting more independent. But now that I’m starting to have mite freedom that’s making my husband hate it even more. My kids are pretty attached to me so while they were really young, I couldn’t do much. There’s honestly so much more I could say about how he treats me and i know it’s not right. We do have our good moments and I think maybe it’s okay. But he goes through weird moods and accuses me of cheating. And he’s not the most helpful with the kids at times too.

I know I should have left my husband long time ago but it’s hard being a stay at home mom and it breaks my heart knowing if I left him I would have into go back to work and have less time with my kids. And I know my kids will struggle if I had to put them in day care. Which is honestly the biggest reasons why I haven’t left him. I also hate the idea of another woman being in my kids life. I know that if I left my husband I would be very cautious on who I let in my kids life but I don’t think my husband would be the same. I could honestly give a fuck about dating again because my kids are my whole life and that’s honestly all I care about right now.

I’m stuck in such a hard spot because I know I should leave him. Even his sister has told me she doesn’t know how I stayed so long with him… but it’s the kids… I’ve been really fortunate enough to be a stay at home mom for four years. I know my kids would struggle if I had to go back to work. My daughter is currently in pre school 2 days a week but I stopped sending her because she struggled with going and it was just fight every morning to go. And I just hate to think about the fact I would miss out on so much with them. I’m just struggling so bad and I don’t know what to do… we go through phases of our relationship being really good and then it just gets shitty… I don’t know what to do anymore.

I have a 4 year old daughter who is now forward facing. Ever since I stared her forward facing she’s become the worst traveller. She use to be so good, but now she just complains the whole time which is sure that just comes with age but I think she’s complaining so much because she’s uncomfortable the whole time. Normally she would nap at least part of the trip but the last couple of times she hasn’t napped one bit. And I think it’s due to not being able to rest her head nicely. What can I use to help her.

My son is turning 2 and I’m struggling with gift ideas for him. I have a 4 year old already and between the two of them, they really don’t need anymore toys. Their toy room is already exploding with toys and I didn’t want to just give an idea of some junk toy, she already has a history of buying cheaper toys that don’t last and end up just getting tossed anyways.

My SIL asked for ideas and I ended up telling her that instead of gifts this year I’m just going to ask for money that I could put towards a bigger gift. She told me that’s awkward and then asked what the bigger gift idea was. I told her that I wanted to get my son a play couch. She basically told me that that’s a terrible idea because it seems like a gift that would go towards my daughter and my son. While yes it’s something that my daughter would use, I don’t see an issue in asking for it since it’s something my son is also going to use.

In the end she told me she will just figure out a different gift, she made me feel pretty bad about asking money towards gift that I know my son would use and isn’t gonna to end up with just some random toy to add to the collection. So am I the asshole for asking for money instead of getting guts for my son?

Is it wrong of me to just ask family to just give some money so I could put it towards a bigger gift instead? I have a 4 and 2 year and by now they have all the toys in the world and I’m struggling with giving my family ideas for them. I’m thinking of just telling family members to just all chip in so money so I can buy a play couch for my son’s birthday. Is that wrong of me? How do I go about telling them that’s what I want to do? I don’t want to come off as rude

I want to start off with I come from a very rural and small community. Our “gymnastics club” takes place in our area in the hockey’s off season. So we don’t have all the equipment that regular gym would. We have a small floor, one beam, one runway for vault, a small area for bars that aren’t the uneven bars. Just like the bars you would get for your at home gym type of thing. And one bouncy floor runway mat.

I put my almost 2 year old and 4 year old in gymnastics this year. The 2 year old comes with me to our mom and tot program. We’ve only attended 4 classes but out of the four classes I’ve had to leave early or my kid has just cried the whole time.

The teacher keeps the classes very structured for example -She pauses, has the kids sit still in the parents lap. While she herself explains 5-8 instructions on different equipment that are all advanced. Then get up and do them, then pause again and reset and explain 5-8 new activities for them to do.

the other moms all agree that it’s far too structured. Example of one of the activities:

Flamingo touches, balance on a beam, and touch the opposite toe to the opposite knee.

Gecko climbs, hold onto a bar and walk feet up.

Etc. And most the children are 12 months to 30 months. And they are crying and cranky after class

Wondering if this is normal expectations for kids under 2.

I have brought my 4 year old to a different mom and tots program that was in the city in an actual gymnastic club and it was not this structured at all.

This gym is so small and it seems unfair of the child can go and explore and be contained to only a small area

For example- if they are doing circuit on the floor they are not to touch the beam that is attached to the floor and they will be scolded.

Any input is appreciated.
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For context, we have a 4 year old girl and an almost 2 year old boy together. I’m a stay at home mom and he works away like %90 of the time, leaving me to parent by myself majority of the time.

Today I took our son to our mom and totally gymnastics program where I had a not so good time because the teacher scolded our 2 year old son for not listening. I had explained to my husband what happened and he basically told me that I need to stop letting our son get away with so much.

Our son is completely different from our daughter. Our daughter was so gentle and kind. Not super energetic. My son is a little maniac. He’s full speed or no speed type of kid. I’ve been struggling lots with him, he can be really mean to our daughter, he will just punch and bit her without any reason. He’s constantly running and jumping off things. I try to talk sternly with him, I get down on his level and talk to him. I’ve tried giving him timeouts. This kid is just way different from what we are use to with our daughter.

It upset me when my husband basically didn’t have my back when I told him about what happened with our son at gymnastics. He made it sound like I just allow our son to run buck free and do whatever he wants. I’m solo parenting %90 of the time.. there’s only so much I can do. I don’t know how else I can help our son out. He can be a really good kid, him and his sister do get a long for the most part, and they have started to get a really good relationship going but he just goes through these phases of just being a shit disturber. I really don’t think it’s fair that he basically just gets to judge me when he never has to be the parent.