u/TryInternational7502

heyyy everyone i know people don't usually come onto reddit but i'm kind of really excited to join the sg music community! i'm 18 years old, female, and i'm moving to singapore in a few days. i'm a trained singer (after few years) and i've been the lead vocalist in a jazz band right before this. now that i'm moving to sg, i'm finding a new band to join.

i can also play the guitar well (i'd say i'm uhhh intermediate?) so that comes in handy in jams/performances as well.

i can sing jazz, pop, grunge, indie, honestly anything and my music taste is very diverse. i love alice in chains, motley crue, metallica, frank sinatra, gary clark jr, scorpions, stuff like that!

i'm not looking for a very serious band, i don't mind just a jam group. if it's possible i'd like to find some people that are of similar age to me (below 25 is perfect) but if not it's totally fine!

if any bands are looking, hmu! if you'd like to, reply to this post or dm me on telegram: xymwaaa!

OK SO for context, me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost 2 full years now. In the beginning of a relationship up until almost 2 months, he was cheating on me. the stuff he did included trying to hide going to parties from me, talking about girls sexually behind my back with his friends and hiding it from me and more similar emotional cheating stuff. he never physically cheated, but he was saying things like 'i can't stop nutting' about other girls that he thought were hot, and how he met many baddies and 'they needed a male pornstar' and it was him. he also talked about how another girl was his dream girl while dating me.

he DID lock in after a few months, and he became loyal and unfollowed any girl that he wasn't actually friends with irl, and he stopped talking about or paying attention to other girls. but he never told me the truth and hid it from me, until i found out only a week ago.

when i found out about his actions, he kept trying to excuse it and saying that i can't say he did it because he changed so drastically he feels like it was a different person who did it (he did change a lot and he's been very devoted and a very good bf after but it's hard for me to believe that it was true anymore after discovering what he did). he keeps saying it hurts him when i say he cheated because he's not the same person, but it's literally him. i know his personality and morals changed but he still did it.

i decided to forgive him for doing those things because i know he changed and does love me now, but i made it clear to him that i will bring it up and he has to face the consequences of how our relationship is harmed by it even if it makes him feel horrible. i was also VERY angry at him and i was quite mean to him when i found out because i NEVER tolerate cheaters. it destroyed my self esteem and dignity to take him back but i love him and i know he changed.

today, a few days after we kind of 'fixed it' or at least tried to move past it (it's still very turbulent because i feel horrible. i can't fathom that he said those disgusting things and hid things from me and sexualised other girls), we were talking about hardships in life and this topic just came up. he then said that he believed he was the victim of this event and that he was hurt more than i am because he's not the same person anymore but had to still deal with the consequences. i was furious. AIO? is he really the victim in this?

edit: for added context, his parents constantly did these kinds of things to each other (micro cheating probably) when they were in a relationship and his friends always cheated on their gfs so he said he didn't know what was right or wrong and that he was influenced by them... but i still feel like if he trult was committed to me he wouldn't have done those things.

so, AIO?