u/Turbulent-Lobster929

I'm currently stuck between Leeds and Imperial as my ideal choice (not keen on Oxbridge).

Personal context: I am a top ish student, ~17F, doing Maths, Further maths, Chemistry, and Physics predicted A*AA (further maths TBD), but am locking in a lot so should get AT LEAST A*A*A if not higher. My parents cannot afford to fund my uni tuition but I'm working towards grade 7-8 piano and am growing a small business teaching piano.

My plan:

Seeing as the "purely chemE" sector is declining in the UK, at least for graduates, I will be doing all the extra courses I can get my hands on and feasibly complete. For example, anything related to programming, finance, any other engineering disciplines, any work experience vaguely stem related. Basically building T-shaped skills (deep into ChemE, breadth everywhere else). I plan to do a six sigma qualification too, and go as far as I can with that.

Later in my career, I will probably do an MBA to elevate my capacity for more senior positions.

Context of my dilemma:

#1: Cost

If I went to Leeds I'd probably commute, it would be pretty quick after the transpennine route upgrade. Probably <1hr each way in total.

Imperial is obviously more expensive- it's London.

#2: Rankings

Imperial is ranked higher. Does this mean anything? Does this change networking prospects to a significant degree?

#3: Placement year.

Leeds has a 5 year course with a placement year. Imperial has no placement year, but for top students there's a chance to study abroad. If I go with my plan of flexibility, which is more beneficial? I am developing fluency in Russian, French, and German. How useful is this for ChemE? For other sectors that hire ChemE people?

Main questions:

1. How feasible is it to do an independent work placement if your university doesn't let you do a sandwich year (like Imperial)?

2. Can anyone recommend me any courses to really elevate my employability in ANY sector that would take a ChemE graduate?

3. For me, would it be worth getting chartered status, if I plan to be flexible?

4. To what extent would my plan help mitigate the shite job market?

5. Is ChemE even still worth it anymore? Is it declining more than other sectors or is everything shite nowadays?

Thank you in advance for any responses :)))

Please feel free to discuss/give advice/share anecdotes/pick apart what I have said in the comments.

All through my life thus far, I (F) have believed that friends and family that have died can see us from the spirit world and what we're doing. This has impacted my teenage years quite a bit, obviously having crazy hormones, I sometimes wanted to take care of certain parts.

Having the belief that the people you love and respect are up there and can see you doing that kinda thing is crazy. It feels like an invasion of privacy.

At one point I was scared that this old lady from my ward who had died could see me when I was in the shower.

Until very recently I was scared that dead acquaintances would see me reading yaoi and judge me for it.

Can someone confirm whether this is an actual teaching or is it just me?

Can someone please reassure me that the people I respect who have passed on are not watching me doing things I don't want people to see?

Here is my shelf for you lot to examine and discuss. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

For context I am ~17F and have grown up TBM not questioning a thing because I didn’t feel I needed to. Several months ago I decided to investigate the church more because I wanted informed consent on whether to go on a mission.

• Why can men be sealed to multiple wives but women not be sealed to multiple husbands? Why does it take comparatively less effort for a man to be sealed a second time than for a woman to cancel a sealing? (Based on what I’ve read on Reddit, please let me know if this is still the case)
• Why in the family proclamation does the husband preside? The definition is “to be in a position of authority in a meeting or other gathering”. If, in function, the woman is the head of the family, eg. She is the breadwinner, then is she presiding?
• General Authorities express appreciation for the wonderful women in their lives, especially their wives. Why then have the wives never spoken in general conference? If they are so wise and wonderful, surely they have some wisdom we can learn from. (Though maybe they are stuck making doughnuts like Rusty’s family /s)
• We know that people aren’t punished for Adam‘s transgression, so why do women suffer the effects of Eve’s transgression? “In sorrow shalt thou bring forth children” - or am I misinterpreting this scripture?
• We know Jesus is male so he has a male body. Did He literally suffer the exact pain we’ve been through? If so, how could he have suffered pain unique to women eg. menstruation (including physical pain and hormonal changes), pregnancy and childbirth, endometriosis, among other issues.
• Why are womens’ roles in church reduced to being a wife and mother or otherwise in some nurturing role? As Young Women we have little structure or identity - in autumn an idea was proposed to let the young women stand in the hallway with the missionaries to welcome everyone to church before sacrament “to give them more visibility”. I’m convinced we get dud roles like this to shut down our complaints.
• Apologetics for polygamy are so effing annoying.
• Why have so many changes to eternal doctrine align so well with societal attitude changes? (Well, not very well considering the church is often late to make changes, but that’s besides the point.) I see two main options - either God Himself is racist, sexist, and LGBT-phobic and the church changed things to pander to society, OR the leaders were all those things and changed church “doctrine” to suit their own beliefs. So either God isn’t a very nice guy or we can’t trust church leaders. You may say that these changes are made to help a changing society understand God’s doctrine, but why then are these changes being made 50 years too late?
• Women don’t even get the chance for proper leadership opportunities in the church. There are so many women that are competent enough to handle things like ward accounting, disciplinary hearings (men representing a woman is NOT THE SAME as women representing a woman), etc. Why does this need to be a “penishood responsibility/role”?
• Why is Joseph Smith presented/taught from a young age as being less educated than he actually was? Sure, he couldn’t write, but the church actively lets misunderstandings form about his intelligence/ability to tell a story.

I kind of want to leave but I’m also slightly worried - stories about miracles that have happened keep me from totally jumping over the fence, but I’ve also heard of miracles that have happened in other churches/other religions entirely. I think the reason I’m worried is because of what people will think of me (how people who leave are judged, I know I’ve done it), and if it means I will be counted as having “fallen away”.

Thankfully I have a lot of friends outside of church, and having discussed it with them I have come to the conclusion that the church is at least somewhat culty if not an actual cult.

EDIT: EXTRA THINGS I REMEMBERED AFTER READING THE COMMENTS

• The 2015 policy and its subsequent undoing both claimed as revelation from an unchanging God
• The views of my parents (both quite devout) - they called me not wanting kids “pathetic” and they think that gay people aren’t born gay (I have some LGBT+ friends so I feel this is totally wrong). How many more TBMs think like this?
• Joe interpreting the Egyptian God of sex Min as “Heavenly Father on his throne“ (facsimile 2). The dude in the picture has a visible and obvious erection. Unless that’s just a stick.
• An excuse for polygamy is that Joe CLEARLY didn’t have sex with those women because there have been no family lines traced back to Joe’s genes through them. There are several issues with this, firstly that contraception and abortion existed back then, only in more crude forms, secondly that for the women who could’ve gotten away with a pregnancy (due to polyandry), most of those children would have died very young, or in the brutal trek west.
• The re-sealing of Emily and Eliza Partridge to fool Emma into thinking she had consent.
• The “carefully worded denials” of Joe on polygamy.
• If John was never taken from the earth and is still around, why was the restoration necessary? How did he appear as a spirit to Joe when he has a body? (Did the body and spirit separate just for that vision?)

Thank you all so much for your replies! I think I will start small, only paying a small amount of tithing, trying boba, etc, before perhaps trying coffee cake or something.