Hey so basically I was forced into a major I didn't like or agree with, when I tried to get out of it my parents told me I was adopted as leverage to get me to finish the major. Recently during a heated argument they also said they have never been happy for 20 years and they regret adopting me. Is this just normal for all adopted people to hear?
I just wanted to tell my story.
My mother tried, but she hurt me every step of the way.
When I was young, I developed a condition that made it hard for me to walk. My parents would berate me and insult me while making me run. It caused a lot of mental issues, and I ended up with serious anxiety.
Later, they pushed me into a major I didn't want. When I said I wanted to leave engineering, my mother told me I was adopted. That was how I found out.
All of it came down to their pride.
I confronted them. They admitted they were wrong, but that wasn't really what I was after. I wanted them to understand why they did it, that they chose their own pride over my well-being every single time. I had the same conversation with them more than once, trying to get them to understand.
Eventually they blew up. They said they don't want to change, that they're childish and shouldn't have to change, and that I should change instead. Then my mother said she has never been happy and that she regrets adopting me. She said they adopted me because, at the time, everyone thought she should have a family and a kid by now.
She said those things, and she always reverts to saying she said it out of anger, that we are family and we should forgive. At this point I am just done. I don't want anything to do with them. I'll probably get a job and dip.
Sure, they tried. But trying doesn't undo the neglect.
I'm telling this story so at least someone knows it.