u/Turbulent_Pause3776

I’ve been trying to figure out the best way to deal with my cognitive dissonance of my absolute hate for organized religion and my Catholic upbringing influencing my thought process here.

My background/ summary: Born, raised, baptized, communion, confirmed, former alter girl, Catholic private school K-4 here. My parents met on a Catholic dating site— divorced when I was 2 after 5 years together (my dad’s second marriage..).

Grandparents are super Catholic and religious— they are super important to me. My mother struggles with addiction to pain pills and my father struggles with being a parent— so my grandparents raised me around 6th grade and have become my “parents” while I attempt to maintain some type of relationship with my actual parents. I was neglected by my parents and diagnosed with Childhood PTSD.

My grandmother has been a role model/rock over the decades but her influence hasn’t always been positive: example— made me believe “my body was like tissue, no man wants a used tissue” so if I have sex before marriage nobody would want me. This led to me staying in an emotionally abusive and coercive relationship at a young age. This mindset made me believe I wasn’t going to loved by God or anyone since I had sex with this guy—therefore I had to stay and work it out at all cost. Lost 7 years of my life to this toxic relationship. Some would say why do you still love my grandmother after the damage she has caused— because I do. On to my issue.

My problem: I just had a baby boy and part of me wants to get him baptized but NOT in the Catholic Church. I was considering getting it done through the Methodist church even though I don’t like organized religion.

My thoughts:

Through years of conditioning, I cannot shake the anxiety (which I have a diagnosis of along with ADHD and depression) that if I don’t baptize my baby, his soul won’t be protected. My husband grew up Church of Christ and has completely deprogrammed from Christianity, he’s agnostic. I, however, like some of the positive aspects of church like the community, serving others in need, you know, the things they teach in bible school but the Church completely contradicts in real life. I believe in loving everyone, helping others, being a decent human being, and acceptance that religion is a cultural practice— God as a concept can be the same but worship differently depending on your religion.

Circling back to my problem, I have spent years deconstructing my attachment to the ritual part of Church which has been extremely hard. Seeing as I don’t regularly attend any church, I’m still trying to grasp with how I want to raise my child with some type of faith but also a healthy dose of skepticism of those who claim to be “working in the name of God or Jesus”. And I know baptism would mean a lot to my family but I also don’t think I can bring myself to commit my child to any church because of the negative aspects it has.

Has anyone else dealt with this situation? I also understand and want to make clear I know that the Church has done many abhorrent things— I do not support them in any way. I still have faith in a higher power but I just don’t prescribe to any particular version.

The Trump Administration thinks that the state and local governments should be responsible going forward for disaster preparedness and recovery with “support” from FEMA. In this funding model, the state would be the primary source of funding, leadership, and in charge of providing shelters, relief programs, etc.

From the Article:
“Along with greater reliance on the private sector, the report also pushed for more integration with volunteer or faith-based organizations and increasing personal accountability. “It is the responsibility of every American to embrace their individual responsibility to lessen this burden by being prepared for disasters,” the council wrote.”

As a state greatly affected by severe weather, what are your thoughts about this model? Is it reason to ask locals in Western NC to be responsible for their own recovery? Or coastal communities ? I have my own opinions but many people in our state will be affected by these policy changes and it’s just another burden to the taxpayers to think about.