u/Twisted-Glitch

I’m saying this because I have had years of low self-esteem about myself and now that I’ve accepted that I do love my own body (I’m a cis autistic male) my self-esteem then shifted to how I interact with others and having low standards for myself as I’m painfully self-aware.

At one point I was questioning myself and currently finding it amusing that I mistook my own questioning as “maybe I might be trans” when I was actually questioning my own sexuality because I was confused if I was actually straight or not. (I’m asexual and finsexual if you’re curious.)

Somewhat recently like a couple months ago I’ve had a wave of thoughts such as “I love testosterone” and other thoughts about loving different parts of my body and I’m confused where it could have came from.

I’m curious what your thoughts are about my case here.

I’m asking this because I’m in a family where everyone is religious to a point while me, my father, and one of my cousins are the only non-religious ones.

For me it always feels very isolating despite actually loving my family. I don’t hate my family by any means it’s just I fear what they might think of my actual self considering I’m not straight and other things so when I’m around them I change up my grammar like saying “Oh my gosh” instead of “Oh my god” as I don’t know who would take offense to that, I only say that as a figure of speech and not as a way to be rude.

I’m curious about other people’s experiences when it comes to stuff similar to this. If I do appear as rude or biased let me know.

Recently I’ve been thinking of going back into the original Netflix Daredevil show as I didn’t finish it. My whole question is Daredevil: Born Again worth watching? I have seen a lot of people praise it, hate it, and criticize it. I’m kind of scared to watch it when I finish the original Daredevil so is it actually worth it or no?

I think the finale was really good and I don’t think it was the weakest episode as that title goes to Ep. 2.

The episode gave evidence to MY INTERPRETATION of Jax which is the fact that he’s secretly actually an emotional person and or crybaby yet he hides that behind a “tough guy mask” sense he views it as feminine, which would explain why he hates Gangle as she’s basically himself but genderswapt. His room being pink could be a cruel joke by the circus as sense for Jax “Emotions/Vulnerable = Feminine.” Even the scene of >!Jax and Ribbit’s bow on his head!< I feel like implied a strong emotional bond and or emotional moment. (I’ve been recently confused if I believe this anymore as this is my interpretation of the information within the show and how one of the VA’s “confirmed” Jax being trans so I don’t know what to think as I feel useless)

We didn’t learn a lot about the blue a.i which is a shame but it is >!implied that Bubble is that a.i so the scene with Caine removing the a.i!< felt like a goodbye.

The ending of the episode felt bittersweet for me as >!they accepted their digital-life and being copies!< so both them and their actual life-versions are having lives they essentially accepted.

Some of the moments did almost make me tear up as I would have cried for if my eyes weren’t so damn dry. I barely ever cry when it comes to media but I do tear up a lot when it comes to life. Even though I have a “love-hate relationship” with Jax, some of his lines hit me hard such as “I don’t wanna go” and “Your not supposed to love me your not supposed to care” or however it went. I especially felt bad for Ribbit. I hate how Jax treated Kaufmo and Ribbit which is odd as Ribbit is my number two favorite character.

The only thing I hate is how quickly everyone got so happy after Jax abstracted, your whole point is that even abusers could maybe change or be sympathized with and yet you completely ignore that? Also I think Jax took up too much of the episode, I do really like what we got with Jax I just feel like they could have simplified some things for more scenes with the others or maybe Caine.

I would overall give the episode a 8/10 as it was mostly really good as I only have a few other gripes being the pacing, that it felt like we have a few scenes missing, and that they ignored the Caine and C&A plot line.

The show itself I would rate 8.5/10 as it was mostly really good with really only two episodes I find pretty meh. One major issue I would say is that Zooble’s whole arc about accepting her body and or identity was off camera as it felt like whiplash. It does feel like we have one episode of content missing, though I still love the show.

(Just rewatched the episode when it came out on YT, I still stand by what I said in this review)

What I mean is that I’m of one of the fans who interpret Jax as “not trans” but in a not so popular interpretation where he himself is actually a very emotional and sensitive person under a tough mask. What I mean is that sense Jax views emotions and or being vulnerable as feminine, he has had moments like the Maid outfit and the big thing being his room as it could be a cruel joke by the circus. Which is why I think he really doesn’t like Gangle as he sees himself within the emotions she expresses. (I did see Ep.9/The Last Act but I’m not saying spoilers)

Recently I have been questioning whether if my own mind is biased or whatever because I’ve seen people argue he’s trans or similar things and with all the evidence and whatnot I feel useless.

I’ve always had my own interpretation within different aspects of media (Backrooms’s ending, the movie Obsession etc.) and I love it when stuff is vague and up to the viewer to interpret things. Ever since the first episode of TADC back in 2023 Jax has been my favorite character.

I’m starting to really get confused and whatnot because all the evidence to Jax being trans makes sense but also how I see him also makes sense and I can’t help but see that they both can’t be what I interpret. My “Crybaby Jax” has evidence for it but the famous “Trans Jax” also has evidence for it and I’m struggling to comprehend what I want to think.

It’s worse for me as apparently Gooseworx said that she wrote it in a single perspective to see it through and when fans don’t see through that they are media illiterate. I feel like if “Trans Jax” is that one perspective than I hate myself for thinking differently and misinterpreting the information I took in when it comes to TADC. A lot of people see it as “Trans Jax” but so much of that evidence can go for my “Suppressed Crybaby Jax” interpretation so I’m hating myself for maybe not seeing him as trans?

I’m having issues here and the “why” for all this is because I’m autistic and a small part of Jax is similar to me which is that I don’t trust people, even loved ones so I can’t tell if it’s my “connection” with Jax as a character is forming bias or not. I’m not excusing being autistic for this it’s just why I struggle with my own emotions, thought process, and overall view on a lot of things. To note that I’m not trans and just a cis autistic male.