I’m a Cancer sun, Virgo moon and Cancer rising.
Unrelated little question: Do any of you out there gravitate toward symbolism in a way that appears in using a symbol, icon, image, etc that you wear or display frequently to represent yourself? If so, what is it? (Not necessarily tied to being a Cancer, just something that resonates with you)
Resting Bitch Face for those who aren’t aware.
Growing up I never really masked and I suffered for it. I didn’t know I was on the spectrum and I was depressed as hell so it just made sense to me that I looked miserable 24/7. Every so often I would get a comment about my expression, but I think people just avoided me.
For the last year or so, I changed my job location with my company from somewhere that was small and cozy, to a much larger facility and more staff. The cozy facility was just myself and a woman I am close friends with, so I never had to explain myself to her. But now I work with a gaggle of men who just can’t seem to stop commenting on my appearance.
Every day it’s:
“Are you mad?”
“Are you mad at me?”
“Are you having a bad day?!”
“What happened!”
“Tytoalba seems angry.”
“Did something happen!? You just seem angry.”
“Didn’t sleep well?”
Etc, etc, etc,
Sometimes several times in one shift
I’m tired of telling them that no, I’m not angry. This is just my face. I tell them I just look angry or sad when I’m resting my face. I can’t smile all the time. I explain that they’ve never seen me angry and if they do, there will be noooo doubt about it lol.
It doesn’t matter, and it doesn’t stop. I mask waaaay more now as an adult then ever before. I’m not even in customer service or anything where I should schmooze people, I’m in a job that often has me working alone and away from everyone. When I think I look neutral, apparently I look like I could kill - and that’s me TRYING.
I DO NOT plan on masking more with smiles I can’t fake and apparently I don’t know how to soften my features anyway, so is there anything socially acceptable I can say to get beyond this shit? I like these guys, they like me. I’m not trying to cause problems either though.
I just want to exist in peace.