Final Fantasy is helping me heal from depression, and I’m so grateful for that. But there’s one thing that makes me sad.
I discovered FFXIV’s story in June. Video games are the only thing that makes me happy, but I’d reached a point where nothing I played really moved me anymore. That genuine emotion you feel when a game really connects with you… The last time I felt that was with Clair Obscur, and before that, Elden Ring. There’s also the entire Silent Hill series, which I’m absolutely obsessed with! Games that make me feel alive like that don’t come around very often, and I needed a new one that could make me feel that spark again.
I’ve been a huge Final Fantasy fan since I was three. This series has saved my life. I’ve been living with depression since I was eight, and playing these games brings me joy.
I’m an anxious person. Talking to new people makes me really nervous, and I struggle with online games because I don’t feel comfortable around strangers. Playing Tekken with a friend is much more enjoyable to me than playing an online match against someone I don’t know.
Because FFXIV is an MMORPG, I was reluctant to play it, but I knew I was missing out on something. I finally gave it a chance, and I don’t regret it. I’m at the beginning of the latest expansion now, and holy shit!!! No main story has ever made me feel this way. Going through that first journey, I’ve never cried so much or felt so many emotions. Endwalker absolutely blew me away.
I’ve loved the boss fights and raiding with other players. The FFXIV community is lovely, although chatting on PS5 isn’t exactly easy.
What makes me sad is that I don’t really have anyone to share all of this with. I’ve tried joining French Discord servers and posted a few messages asking for people to raid with. Two or three people helped me out, but the waiting times really break the momentum for me, and it’s so frustrating. Sometimes it takes away from the enjoyment.
The fights are incredible and worth the wait. I don’t know if I’m good enough yet, but I’m interested in trying Extreme trials and Savage raids. Still, playing with random people wouldn’t give me the experience I’m looking for. I want to discover and learn these fights with a group, tackle Extremes and Savages together, and take screenshots of our characters posing together.
It makes me sad seeing so many people with their own group of friends in the game and wishing I had that too. I’ve taken a break from the game for the past two weeks because it’s been getting to me a little.
Anyway, I just wanted to share how I feel!
Have a lovely day or night, Warriors of Light!