u/UnderstandingKind757

Okay well, this was a bit ago, on July 18th. My last three birthdays have been terrible. The one last year I went to bed in the bathtub crying because the people at my party got into a screaming match and would not calm down despite me begging. This year it was wonderful until it wasn’t. I will call my partners mother M for this.

To preface, I grew up with an VERY abusive mother which actually resulted in me having severe anxiety, PTSD, and stress related infertility, something that sucks yes but I do not use it as a crutch in my daily life. My partner knows this, and so does their mother. Their mother and I have always been close and she over the last 6 years became a defacto mother figure to me. To the point she told me I could always rely on her, that she hates my bio mom for what my bio mom did to me growing up, and asking me to put her in my phone as ‘Momma M’. She and I were honestly very close and she was one of my best friends despite being my partner’s mom.

This years birthday went great, the day it was my birthday, my friend had a bridal shower. I really wanted it to be about my friend and not my birthday so I didn’t tell anyone there it was my birthday. I was at the bridal shower the majority of the day. When I got home and didn’t expect anything for my birthday at all. And I was really happily surprised when my partner and his mother prepared a little surprise party for me with cheesecake and balloons and gifts. I was really really happy and I felt like finally were turning a new chapter and that I could have some happiness on my birthday when the last three have been really, really bad.

As the night progressed, M had several drinks, about 24 of them (12 oz) and at some point during the night when I was watching a movie in the living room with partner and M, M decided to use the spare room to go sleep. She was in there sleeping and according to her I laughed “too loud” M came out and was very drunk and telling me that I couldn’t laugh. I thought it was kind of ridiculous so I laughed a little bit again and I was like “I’ll turn the volume down sorry.” And then she just reeled up and backhanded me on the face. My partner immediately jumped up to push her away from me. And in the process M also dug her acrylic sharp nails into their arm, cutting and bruising them badly. This then began a fight between them where partner was telling M he was going to call the police and M kept threatening to punch partner. Partner then called her out for acting like my Bio mom and saying how disappointed he was by M behaving how she did. M just kept screaming that she did not care.

I myself, I’m unfortunately used to and familiar with parental abuse. My partner however, is not and was very very shocked and angry. I wasn’t angry. I was more, for lack of a better word, triggered. I was sad and disappointed someone I trusted would behave like that to me, especially on my birthday. It brought up a whole lot of feelings I had dealing with my own biological mom growing up. I trusted M and then suddenly it was a 180° after this slap and I am now very afraid of her.

It’s been a decent amount of time since then, and not once she reached out to me, even though she has been in our house many times to see my partner & talk to them or spend time here with our cats. Every time she comes here, I just stay upstairs in our bedroom. To the point where my partner goes downstairs to get food for me if she is here late. I just don’t feel comfortable going down there and seeing her in my space. I’ve been struggling with a lot of PTSD with her being in my space, not feeling safe in my own home and feelings of betrayal that I’m feeling. I don’t feel comfortable or okay going down there and seeing her in our space. I honestly just feel so unsafe around her in general now. My partner is definitely struggling with this because they feel as if they’re in the middle of us. They are rightfully so very upset with M and her behavior but M is their mother. They are very bad at confrontation and they did try to talk to M at one point when she was here, and they came back upstairs, genuinely trembling and shaken.

I gave M & myself a few weeks to decompress the situation. She has not said anything to me in person or over text, but M has apparently told my partner. “I think she (me) should apologize.” And done the classic “oh I’m just a HORRIBLE person huh?” Obligatory self victimization manipulation tactic.
I stood firm, I told my partner I have nothing to apologize for and I am not the person who hurt anyone. I often find myself in situations like this where I have to be the bigger person and honestly, I’m sick of it so I didn’t reach out either.

Now to today.

I just came home today from late birthday lunch that I was throwing because my actual birthday was a shit show, again. I just wanted to spend time with some friends. Even though most of my friends canceled, I still got to see two of them and it was very nice lunch. When I got home however, M was here, she had let herself in. My partner is at work. I took a deep breath and I genuinely did try to be the bigger person even though I told myself I wouldn’t. I said the following:

Me: “M, can we talk about this situation and repair our relationship and squash the beef between us?”

M: “no I don’t think so. I am sick of you walking around like I am the antichrist, so I don’t want to speak to you.”

Me: “we are both grown adults. I was waiting for you to apologize or show any sign of remorse for the alarming behavior you displayed and enacted on my birthday to me and (partner). But you have not done that or shown any effort. So I haven’t spoken to you”

M: “I am not in a place where I want to speak to you”

Me: “well when you are mature enough to own up to your behavior I will be here.”

And then I went back upstairs and am now just in my room waiting for her to leave because I don’t want to speak to her or see her.

I feel like I should be trying harder to mend this relationship, but on the other hand, I did not do anything wrong and M is 50 years old. You would think at this point in her life she would be adult enough to admit when she made a mistake. It feels as if all the years we were so close and I saw her as a mother are now just gone. It is effecting me a great deal as I thought I finally had someone to fill that role my abusive parent left. But now it feels like to her, none of that meant anything and she just doesn’t like me anymore because she did something bad. Is this salvageable? Should I even fucking try anymore?

TLDR: partners mother who I was very close with slapped me on my birthday, repeatedly comes to our home, hasn’t apologized and does not seem to want to at all.

EDIT: to everyone wondering why she can come and go, we rent from her and she lives not even a block away. She has the keys to this location. If we changed the locks she would kick us out undoubtably. She was threatening to ‘make us homeless’ during her drunken rant on my birthday as well. We work paycheck to paycheck and do not have the money saved to get up and move to another location. It would take a while to save up enough money and even longer to find a new place. She is taking full advantage of that.

So me and my friend have watched GMM since forever. Have their 1000 episode tokens and beyond. Well we were just talking on FT and she showed me a vid of Tom Holland dancing to Rihanna’s umbrella on a show and I brought up that it reminded me of the time R&L were dancing in water and doing slow mo hair flips, n spitting out water. It was to I think an R&B song in the studio parking lot. She didn’t know what I was talking about and I explained I distinctly remembered a part where link took off his shirt and rung the water into his mouth and got on all fours and pushed the shirt like a rag on the floor towards the camera. N she’s saying there’s NO shot they ever did that but I remember it! I’m like 80% that happened at the end of an episode where they danced. Am I going crazy or do other fans remember that??? It was probably 6+ years ago or something!
Im not asking to know what episode or anything because I guess it may not even exist! I’m just wondering if I am totally remembering something else and somehow my brain assumed it was R&L

Okay I was writing notes and I wrote an ampersand (&) as I was note taking and my lil brother glanced over was like “aw I wish I could do that” so I took a lil break teaching my little brother how to do it. The way he was doing it was so silly and kinda reflective of his personality so I wanted to post about it cuz it’s cute n silly and his ampersands are sloppy but he turned the two worst ones into creative little drawings. I don’t think it’d be possible to post the image on r/handwriting cuz it’s not really relevant to the image I want to post. I looked up r/sibling cuz I forgot Reddit is not a wholesome place and wanna bleach my eyes. Where can I just post about my brothers dumb/cute ampersands???

Just saw a fluffy white little dog with a red tag on its collar walking down the side of the road by intersection of N and BB. In the area with the trees and houses. East park/West oak street area. I got out of the car to help but he or she barked and ran off into a neighboring lawn. Is anyone missing a dog? please check, it was just walking into traffic and I couldn’t get close enough to check their tags. I just want to make sure the pup is safe!!

I have a lil bro (9) and he’s so funny and believes 98% of stuff I say, so sometimes I tell goofy ass lies, nothing bad, just stuff like I have a secret stash of money in the backyard, or when he talks about a celebrity or something I’ll be like “oh yeah I know them, we’re friends.” It’s harmless goofy shit. But I recently have been telling my brother that it’s not called “the first of the month” but it’s “the 1th of the month.” I thought it was funny how it rhymed and everything. But apparently he’s been saying it in school and a teacher called his mom and my dad about it and now they’re mad at me. Well, my dad isn’t mad, he was laughing a bunch, but my step mom is worried it makes my lil bro seem stupid which I guess I can understand, but idk, I thought it was j a silly prank. Am I wrong for playing pranks?

I’ve played through red dead redemption twice. I love the game and lately my nephew has also been getting into it. Here’s the problem I face. He wants something related to RDR2 for his birthday this July. He already HAS the game, so what do I get him? Im blanking on ideas so hard. I thought cowboy hat but Idk much about cowboy hats and he also has a bunch from my late grandpa, his great grandfather, who passed last month, so I don’t want to dredge anything up with gifting that. Any other ideas?
EDIT: he is turning 10!