Title: She screamed at me until the automated voice said “this call is being recorded.” She hung up in a tenth of a second.
I just need to vent because the upside-down logic of narcissistic family members is driving me insane.
My grandmother has been getting visibly more senile over the past year, and her cruelty has completely escalated into dangerous territory. Shortly after Christmas, she actually threatened to come to my house and beat me up.
The hilarious part? She lives in Tennessee and I live in Texas. When I called her out on it, she completely denied ever threatening me because she "can't make it through the Nashville airport without help." As if having travel difficulties suddenly makes threatening physical violence okay or nonexistent.
On top of the threats, she is constantly trying to financially abuse and control me. She aggressively insists that I must work a full-time job. She completely ignores the fact that it’s not possible for me to work full-time due to my disabilities, which is why I am currently on SSI.
Instead, I have a very specific, strategic plan mapped out for my future to gain full independence from my abusive family:
The ROTC Pathway: I am joining Air Force ROTC as a Participating Student for the General Military Course, then pivoting to Army ROTC for the Advanced Course. I do this because I miss my JROTC days and want leadership training. My Ngrandma thinks it's a casual high school club, completely ignoring that Senior ROTC is a high-stakes federal pipeline.
The Career Goal: My ultimate goal is to work things out with my interim Fire Chief, move back up to a volunteer in the Fire Prevention Division, and work my way up to a federal GS-08 Fire Protection Inspector position. Because of my disabilities, I can easily function as a station-based, non-driving Fire Inspector. Long-term, I plan to climb the ranks to Assistant Chief of Fire Prevention.
Education and building this path forward is part of creating a future where I’m never again dependent on people who dismiss my health and concerns.
But right now, after everything she threw at me, I just feel scared, dismissed, and honestly really alone.
Back in February, she crossed another line by cussing at me over the phone. She was attacking my volunteer role with the department’s Fire Prevention Bureau—a role I am incredibly proud of. She literally screamed, “You don’t augment shit!” just to minimize my work and hurt me.
Today, she called and did it again—completely unloading on me, yelling, cussing, and throwing massive guilt trips. She was recently in the hospital for trouble breathing, and she completely weaponized her medical issues to guilt-trip me. She claimed that I am completely self-centered and tried to turn everything around to make it look like I am the problem.
I finally called her back to establish a firm boundary, and the conversation went exactly like this:
Me: “Ok first of all you don’t ever talk to your own grandson like what you were talking to him like.”
Ngrandma: “And you don’t talk to your grandmother that way either.”
Me: “Really? I was standing up for myself.”
Instead of apologizing, she went into a full narcissistic rage: “I’ll talk to you how I want to! You don’t care about my illness and you don’t give a damn about me! Do you understand me?! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?”
Right then, I hit the record button on my phone. The automated system loudly announced, “This call will be recorded.”
I kid you not, she hung up within a tenth of a second. It is amazing how fast their "righteous fury," threats, and fake victimhood disappear when they realize there will be undeniable proof of how they actually treat people. They absolutely cannot handle accountability.
Between the physical threats, the financial judgment, and the constant verbal abuse, I cannot wait to fully disown her, cut all ties, and finally have some peace. Honestly, watching her deal with her illness while acting like this just makes me realize how little empathy I have left for her. I'm just waiting for the day this is finally over and her grizzled, bitter self can no longer hurt anyone.
Has anyone else had a narcissist attack your career/college plans because they don't understand the regulations behind them? Or use their own hospital visits as a free pass to abuse you?
Note on my career track: To address any confusion, Fire Inspectors handle building code enforcement, blueprint reviews, and administrative work—it is primarily an office and desk-heavy role, distinct from front-line firefighting. Additionally, introductory university ROTC courses can be taken as basic college electives without a military contract or a medical clearance. I am utilizing specific legal precedents and federal guidelines (like Public Law 97-306 for line-of-duty protections for student applicants) to safely participate in the capacity I can, fully separated from commissioning standards.