u/UnfortunatelyAlex

shortshits like to say that height doesnt matter as much as heighthons says it does, but as someone whos tall but not a heighthon, im their biggest defender cause i get it. im only 5'11", so i dont consider myself a heighthon but its still taller than a lot of people, and basically every woman.

its like the tip for photography and stuff. you dont want to hold the camera too low cause it lengthens the face. but when you're tall, everyone naturally sees you from a low angle. they see the jaw and chin definition from the worst possible place. you have to literally look down at people to look at them while they talk.

some of you really are incapable of getting it. i know you cant help it but you really dont understand what its like to tower over people. how it makes you feel. being short doesnt automatically make everything else fine, but it will always be better than being tall.

pic mostly unrelated

the loose skin and stuff makes it impossible. just slight shifts in my posture, the angle of the camera, the lighting, etc. changes everything so much. its like that for everyone ig but i swear the fact that my body literally cant hold a consistent shape on its own and is completely dictated by how that loose flab drapes and shifts with gravity makes it 1000x worse.

i feel like im legitimately going insane sometimes. some pictures look okay. others look horrid and disgusting. i dont know which is real and which is fake. both are real i guess but knowing that on paper doesnt make it any easier to feel okay about what i see in the mirror. i hate this body so much. i just want to feel okay for once

why am i getting downvoted for hating misogyny here? what is actually wrong with some of you? people here complain all the time about the reputation tttt spaces have but we will have literal incels posting shit about hating women and getting positive reactions. i dont care if its a small number.

its just a constant reminder that people here are immature children and think being edgy is funny still. being a misogynist is something you should be ashamed of and grow out of, not openly and proudly admit to everyone to see like a badge of honor.

my mom just has various family pictures, both from childhood and when i was a teenager hanging up. so i get to see what i was before puberty mangled me, what i became, and how my sisters get to be effortlessly everything i wish i could be everytime i want a glass of water or something.

its awesome. makes me cry only about 30% of the time. the rest i just feel empty like usual 🥰

everytime i see mental changes mentioned im just left confused. i havent changed much at all mentally since starting hrt. but more confusingly, i dont understand why everyone hypes up prog. when i was on it i didnt feel any different. i took like 200mg a night. tried both orally and suppository. never felt anything crazy.

maybe my brain is just broken or something, idk.

society hates people who are depressed more than it likes to admit. i remember in high school some guy told me to just stop thinking depressing thoughts when i told him i was depressed. like gee. thanks. never thought of that one before. everyone is such a fucking larper. they all think this is just some funny quirky thing. like "lol! i want to die! i feel sad sometimes too!"

but the moment someone talks to someone who is truly, actually depressed. someone who has tried medication, therapy, etc. and is still suicidal. still hates being alive. they get uncomfortable. they blame you. say its your mindset. that youre not trying hard enough. theyre happy so it must be all my fault for feeling like shit.

depression gets larped about as this quirky relatable thing but they hate actually depressed people just as much as they hate any other mental illness. not being happy is a personal failure to others. they want you to shut up and stop making them uncomfortable. they'll blame you before they ever stop to consider that maybe some people cant help their circumstances and what makes them feel so miserable.

other than voice, nothing matters more than face and its not even close. pretty obvious and should be a cold take but im not really trying to act like this is controversial anyway.

just that, your face is where most passing comes from unless youre speaking. most lateshits like me dont even really body pass anyway too. mostly just the body of a skinny twink with a little bit of estrogen influenced fat, but the bones will always look off. they will never look cis. trochantors are never wide enough, iliac crest is always too high.

where as face passing is real at least. and its all luck. genetics. and if you lose that draw then i hope youre rich cause ffs will become a necessity and even that might not get you where face luckshits start. and the cruelest thing is, i only ever see the people who need it the least get ffs. they go from mostly passing, maybe a little clocky, to passing completely. i never see someone who's as f'd as me get ffs.

i wish my face wasnt so hideous. i wish i was pretty. i need to grind my skull against a sanding belt. maybe then ill be pretty

what was the point? 19 bmi and i still look fat and overweight. my stomach is so hideous. loose skin and stubborn fat that i can do literally nothing to fix cause the only fix is surgery that ill never afford.

i did the work. i lost 100lbs, gave myself an eating disorder, went from obese to barely not underweight and kept it off now for almost 2 years. and yet my body is still this hideous bloated, yet deflated blob. my skin is ruined. i was severely overweight for maybe 2 years of my life. amd it was enough to permanently ruin me. its not fair

like, this shit is fucked. im not gonna ever be seen as anything besides a man really. i should have just double downed and repped and been an attractive man at least instead of giving myself gyno for no reason.

i wouldnt really want anyone to rep with me but i can understand why someone would. and it might feel less lonely repping with another who gets it too at least.

I HATE THAT WOMEN CANT EXIST WITHOUT BEING TURNED INTO FETISH OBJECTS. CIS OR TRANS. FICTIONAL OR REAL. IT DOESNT MATTER. THEY DONT EVEN MAKE EXCEPTIONS FOR CHILDREN FOR GOD'S SAKE. EVERYWHERE I LOOK ITS NON STOP APOLOGIA FOR PORN WITH 0 PEOPLE DOING ANY INTROSPECTION ON THE CASUAL MISOGYNY OF IT ALL. AAAAAHHHHFGFHFHH

im so tired of seeing excuses for it. literally people going like "its the internet. of course theres porn lol. Just ignore it" as if THATS THE FUCKING PROBLEM??? NO. HOW ABOUT YOU FUCKING DECONSTRUCT THE MISOGYNY INVOLVED THAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT WOMEN EXISTING ON THE INTERNET NATURALLY MEANS PORN OF HER IS INEVITABLE???

if i take a photo where i dont immediately hate how i look it suddenly becomes not real to me. its fake. frauded. i actually look 1000x worse. my good angles and flattering lighting is all fake. my only true appearance is one where i look my worst. that one is the most honest.

i hate it. i cant feel good about myself. it all feels fake. everything is fake. im fake.

genuinely feels like im just getting made fun of sometimes. if you dont have chest and stomach hair like Steve Carrell in the 40 year old virgin like i do youre not a manmoder or a gorilla. stop stealing my valor

real women dont have full beards before they have a driver's license. real women dont have the body hair of a 40 year old man and get mocked for it at 17. im actually so disgusting looking. this will never go away.

if i was meant to do this hrt would have at least helped with my body hair. but it didnt even do that. im actually am ugly gorilla. everyone says to just epilate as if i dont try. as if im not ripping out more than 4x the amount of hair as most of you. 10x the amount that the cis women hose torture devices were made for have. or maybe im just weak. maybe i dont want this bad enough. its always my own fault. i do it to myself.

where do i get the one that does things? im tired of looking like a man

cause then i wont need to worry about her being disgusted by my hideous body hair and stuff. she'd see me irl after seeing pictures and be like "oh thank god. he looks like a man" instead of how a man would see me and gay panic me because i missed a spot shaving my entire body because im blind without my glasses

not severely mentally ill to the point where i inevitably become someone's therapist, mother/father, 24/7 on call crisis line, etc.

oh. and also no more than like a year younger than me. so that rules out just about everyone

got compliments, feeling happy. now if only i was desirable irl too 😞