I think I have ocd
LET ME JUST START THIS BY SAYING, I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE SELF DIAGNOSING TIKTOK BITCHES EVERY SYMPTOM I AM ABOUT TO DESCRIBE TO YOU I’VE HAD SINCE I WAS A LITTLE GIRL (3)
Anyway, for my whole life I have had these compulsions and obsessive thoughts that have not been able to stop. Ever since I’ve been about 3-6 I have struggled with these compulsions and they will not stop, one of my most memorable obsessions are my “fear” of bathrooms. When I was younger I hated everything having to do with bathrooms, I would hold me pee in all day at school and sometimes at home because of how much I hated bathrooms, when I would finally go to the bathroom I had to hold my breath, I wouldn’t even swallow my own spit, I also hated the texture of toilet paper which led to an infection.
Another one I had was certain smells, tastes, feelings, and textures.
Every time I would open a water bottle I would take a little sip then open a new one because the one I had previously opened had germs.
Going back to the swallowing spit thing, at certain people’s houses I wouldn’t even swallow have to spit in a bottle or outside because I couldn’t swallow my spit due to that houses air particles.
Certain songs and advertisements on TV were also an issue to me due to how they made me feel, it made me feel as if something bad would happen.
At night when I would pray for my family I had to pray for everyone even people I didn’t like because something bad would happen.
This is also a little embarrassing to admit but sometimes when I stare at children too long because I like their outfits or I am just zoning out I am scared I am a pdf file.
For a while these things actually got better, I was able to swallow my own spit and drink a full bottle of water and eat any food I wanted to.
But lately it’s been getting worse, I can’t go out anymore because I am afraid something bad would happen, this takes me back to when I was a little girl and would lay awake constantly due to racing thoughts and feelings.
I need to know if my symptoms are enough for me to get a diagnosis or if this is basic anxiety, I feel that I need to be on meds to function and all these symptoms are interfering with my day to day life.
Sorry this is long but I am tired of living like this.