u/UniversitySweet7015

I (26F) got diagnosed with GHSV1 today. Here is my story (& asking for guidance). I’ve only had unprotected sex once and for a few minutes. Looking back, I know my partner knew he could give it to me. I’m not sure if it was totally intentional or if he just didn’t care. He never once told me he had it (he knew though). Anyways, im having my first out break. It started when I noticed a little irritated spot on my genitals. No pain or anything even though the spot was looking really irritated. Then it didn’t go away, and it started to burn when I peed. I also started waking up in the night because of the itch. Turns out I have GHSV1. The one time I have unprotected sex I get it. just my luck lol

Here is my thing: I am a young white woman that is considered to be very beautiful. I’m only mentioning that because it might be relevant- painting a picture here. I am very intensely pursued romantically and sexually. I date mostly young white men that work in corporate NYC (finance, law,etc.).
I also have bipolar 2 disorder. I always disclose very early on. Never bothered anyone I disclose to. Dudes love the mentally ill bitches LOL
Now that I also have herpes..? Talk about a double fucking wammy. I am worried I will never find a real partner or get married. Or have good sex ever again. Truthfully, ive never been weirded out by herpes and have said many times over the years I would date a guy with it because you can be safe about it. HOWEVER, I am soooo pissed that my partner never disclosed his HSV. Not cool. I kinda hate him now.. im almost positive he gave this to me on purpose. Disgusting loser behavior if ive ever seen it!

But I still feel fine about myself- don’t feel gross or ashamed because I know it wasn’t my fault. I know that I am just going to have to be more careful and safe moving forward. I will always disclose! And tbh i don’t care if I get some bumps here and there that are itchy- im cool about it honestly. However it is DEFINITELY a big deal in the pool of men I date.

How hard is this about to make my dating life? Am I screwed?

Edit Side note: the stigma around this is so stupid. Does it suck to have it? Yes. Is it a huge deal? No. You can 100% be safe about it. And it’s not the end of the fucking world if you get it. I now can get a “cold sore” on my lady bits here and there or maybe not at all ever again. Not any different or more gross than oral HSV. STDs should always be taken seriously but not stigmatized.
Maybe because I have BP2 that im not terrified about my whole life changing. Like been there done that lol just add this one to the list of life changing diagnoses. However, this is something I am choosing to keep to myself. I am not telling anyone. I will disclose to partners when I need to but to no one else. My biz

UPDATE!: just went to the doctor (planned parenthood) and they took a sample and are testing it. However, the doctor told me that she does not think it’s herpes. And if it is she said it would probably be HSV1 and most likely wouldn’t ever come back down there. She said she just thinks I may have a yeast infection and maybe another infection as well. I am feeling much better about it all now.

Really long but I NEED HELP!!!!!

All relevant info listed in a timeline:
Sun: had really rough sex with a partner ive been casually seeing / hooking up with for a few months. we had unprotected sex for a minute or two at the end. He pulled out. I was SO SWOLLEN immediately afterwards. It was scary. I’ve never swelled like that before. I was super tender and sensitive but not overly painful.
Mon/Tuesday: the swelling went down a good bit. i was still sensitive and tender. On one of these days i found a raw patch of skin on my vulva by my vaginal opening. It stung whenever I touched it which is how I found it. I looked at it in the mirror and just saw a raw red patch of skin. Looked like the top layer of my skin had been rubbed off. I didn’t think anything about it since we had ROUGH sex. It did not hurt/sting unless i touched it or wiped.
Tuesday/Wednesday: the raw patch started to heal/crust/scab around the boarder. Looked whiteish. By Wednesday I was feeling much better. No pain.
Thursday: felt fine again. Raw patch wasn’t super sensitive or stinging anymore. I was planning on having sex again. I shaved. I ended up not having sex. I used a new vibrator I had just gotten for the first time. I over did it for sure.
Friday: my clit was sore and sensitive. Looked irritated . I used the vibrator more. I had a TON of razor bumps from the night before when I shaved. Over my entire pubic area and vagina. That never happens and i remember thinking it was strange. It itched terrible. At this point i wasn’t having any noticeable pain or itching when i wasn’t touching anything.
Saturday: still sensitive and swollen. Still used the vibrator. Razor bumps were better. I woke up that morning and my newish belly button piercing that ive had no issues with was DISGUSTING. Oozing orange/yellow everywhere and so swollen red and crusty. Not sure if this is related or not.. it’s weird though. My vagina was HURTING. I looked at it again and I was super red and irritated. The raw patch didn’t look any different in shape or color (still red + whiteish) but definitely inflamed. It was smaller than it originally was and went to a red sore with a white middle that was deeper than the original patch. It started leaking fluid. Yellowish. Not puss. Only hurt if i touched it still. I was hurting so bad towards the night on saturday. I even put ice on myself to try and ease it. I masturbated but did not use vibrator. Lymph nodes by my hip bones swelled up.
Sunday: lymph nodes went down. Then.. ITCHING!! Not the sore though. Not terrible and it really started at night. It literally woke me up it was so bad. The sore looked exactly the same. Belly button was worse. I wasn’t severely hurting all day- just irritated and sensitive like Saturday. Sunday night was rough though.. Woke up in the night and put a cold washcloth on myself. It started hurting really bad when I peed in the night. I also masturbated but no vibrator (I have a high sex drive ok)
Monday: THE WORST. The morning was fine even though night before was awful. I was at work and went to the bathroom to pee. First time it stung but fine. Second time mid day? It burned the same but the itching and burning after was awful. I couldn’t sit still. I went home and looked at everything again. All looked the same aside from the sore being a little dryer. No scab. I woke up in the night multiple times because of the burning + itching while I was sleeping again. My pee stopped stinging though that night and so did the itching and uncomfortablility. I poked at the sore a lot and definitely made it more irritated. My lymph nodes swelled again but worse and close right next to my pubic area that connects to my upper thigh. I can see them sticking out. They aren’t super hard and I can move them around though. Here is the worst part!!!!! I looked closer and I have a tear in my vagina!!!! Perineal grade one. It’s kind of jagged though and has tears/rips with white around them in some places. It doesn’t hurt to touch, just a little itchy if I do and I have a lot of runny white discharge that has no smell.
Tuesday (today): woke up in the night before twice. Morning has been fine so far aside from my pee stinging a little in my first pee. I looked again this morning and everything looks the same, but more irritated because of how much I have poked at it. It was leaking a lot of orange-ish fluid in the night from the sore. I am feeling fine now but I can feel the irritation on my vagina if I pay attention to it. I never feel the sore unless I hit it. My discharge has been completely normal otherwise. Only my actual clit/vag/labia/etc itches and burns. Not the sore.

SUMMARY:
I have an open circular / oval sore on my vulva by my vaginal opening. It started as a raw red patch that looked like my skin got rubbed off after unprotected aggressive sex (swelled really bad after). It was all healing until i shaved and over used an intense vibrator. It is now surrounded by red with a whiteish opening in the middle that hurts only when i touch it. It is also right next to a grade one perineal tear at the opening of my vagina. I have been having swollen groin lymph nodes and a lot of pain and itching at times. I also have burning pee sometimes. Everything comes and goes which is weird. It’s been 9 days. The sore hasn’t changed much at all aside from getting a little smaller. My discharge has been normal aside from a little more coming from my tear. The sore has never hurt (even now) unless i touch it. Also never itches in of itself. Never had any blisters. Entire pubic area is itchy and burns bad sometimes. The sore leaks orange liquid. It’s all awful at night. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!? im freaking out!!!

Thank you for the help!

Really long but I NEED HELP!!!!!

All relevant info listed in a timeline:
Sun: had really rough sex with a partner ive been casually seeing / hooking up with for a few months. we had unprotected sex for a minute or two at the end. He pulled out. I was SO SWOLLEN immediately afterwards. It was scary. I’ve never swelled like that before. I was super tender and sensitive but not overly painful.
Mon/Tuesday: the swelling went down a good bit. i was still sensitive and tender. On one of these days i found a raw patch of skin on my vulva by my vaginal opening. It stung whenever I touched it which is how I found it. I looked at it in the mirror and just saw a raw red patch of skin. Looked like the top layer of my skin had been rubbed off. I didn’t think anything about it since we had ROUGH sex. It did not hurt/sting unless i touched it or wiped.
Tuesday/Wednesday: the raw patch started to heal/crust/scab around the boarder. Looked whiteish. By Wednesday I was feeling much better. No pain.
Thursday: felt fine again. Raw patch wasn’t super sensitive or stinging anymore. I was planning on having sex again. I shaved. I ended up not having sex. I used a new vibrator I had just gotten for the first time. I over did it for sure.
Friday: my clit was sore and sensitive. Looked irritated . I used the vibrator more. I had a TON of razor bumps from the night before when I shaved. Over my entire pubic area and vagina. That never happens and i remember thinking it was strange. It itched terrible. At this point i wasn’t having any noticeable pain or itching when i wasn’t touching anything.
Saturday: still sensitive and swollen. Still used the vibrator. Razor bumps were better. I woke up that morning and my newish belly button piercing that ive had no issues with was DISGUSTING. Oozing orange/yellow everywhere and so swollen red and crusty. Not sure if this is related or not.. it’s weird though. My vagina was HURTING. I looked at it again and I was super red and irritated. The raw patch didn’t look any different in shape or color (still red + whiteish) but definitely inflamed. It was smaller than it originally was and went to a red sore with a white middle that was deeper than the original patch. It started leaking fluid. Yellowish. Not puss. Only hurt if i touched it still. I was hurting so bad towards the night on saturday. I even put ice on myself to try and ease it. I masturbated but did not use vibrator. Lymph nodes by my hip bones swelled up.
Sunday: lymph nodes went down. Then.. ITCHING!! Not the sore though. Not terrible and it really started at night. It literally woke me up it was so bad. The sore looked exactly the same. Belly button was worse. I wasn’t severely hurting all day- just irritated and sensitive like Saturday. Sunday night was rough though.. Woke up in the night and put a cold washcloth on myself. It started hurting really bad when I peed in the night. I also masturbated but no vibrator (I have a high sex drive ok)
Monday: THE WORST. The morning was fine even though night before was awful. I was at work and went to the bathroom to pee. First time it stung but fine. Second time mid day? It burned the same but the itching and burning after was awful. I couldn’t sit still. I went home and looked at everything again. All looked the same aside from the sore being a little dryer. No scab. I woke up in the night multiple times because of the burning + itching while I was sleeping again. My pee stopped stinging though that night and so did the itching and uncomfortablility. I poked at the sore a lot and definitely made it more irritated. My lymph nodes swelled again but worse and close right next to my pubic area that connects to my upper thigh. I can see them sticking out. They aren’t super hard and I can move them around though. Here is the worst part!!!!! I looked closer and I have a tear in my vagina!!!! Perineal grade one. It’s kind of jagged though and has tears/rips with white around them in some places. It doesn’t hurt to touch, just a little itchy if I do and I have a lot of runny white discharge that has no smell.
Tuesday (today): woke up in the night before twice. Morning has been fine so far aside from my pee stinging a little in my first pee. I looked again this morning and everything looks the same, but more irritated because of how much I have poked at it. It was leaking a lot of orange-ish fluid in the night from the sore. I am feeling fine now but I can feel the irritation on my vagina if I pay attention to it. I never feel the sore unless I hit it. My discharge has been completely normal otherwise. Only my actual clit/vag/labia/etc itches and burns. Not the sore.

SUMMARY:
I have an open circular / oval sore on my vulva by my vaginal opening. It started as a raw red patch that looked like my skin got rubbed off after unprotected aggressive sex (swelled really bad after). It was all healing until i shaved and over used an intense vibrator. It is now surrounded by red with a whiteish opening in the middle that hurts only when i touch it. It is also right next to a grade one perineal tear at the opening of my vagina. I have been having swollen groin lymph nodes and a lot of pain and itching at times. I also have burning pee sometimes. Everything comes and goes which is weird. It’s been 9 days. The sore hasn’t changed much at all aside from getting a little smaller. My discharge has been normal aside from a little more coming from my tear. The sore has never hurt (even now) unless i touch it. Also never itches in of itself. Never had any blisters. Entire pubic area is itchy and burns bad sometimes. The sore leaks orange liquid. It’s all awful at night. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!? im freaking out!!!

Thank you for the help!

Really long but I NEED HELP!!!!!

All relevant info listed in a timeline:
Sun: had really rough sex with a partner ive been casually seeing / hooking up with for a few months. we had unprotected sex for a minute or two at the end. He pulled out. I was SO SWOLLEN immediately afterwards. It was scary. I’ve never swelled like that before. I was super tender and sensitive but not overly painful.
Mon/Tuesday: the swelling went down a good bit. i was still sensitive and tender. On one of these days i found a raw patch of skin on my vulva by my vaginal opening. It stung whenever I touched it which is how I found it. I looked at it in the mirror and just saw a raw red patch of skin. Looked like the top layer of my skin had been rubbed off. I didn’t think anything about it since we had ROUGH sex. It did not hurt/sting unless i touched it or wiped.
Tuesday/Wednesday: the raw patch started to heal/crust/scab around the boarder. Looked whiteish. By Wednesday I was feeling much better. No pain.
Thursday: felt fine again. Raw patch wasn’t super sensitive or stinging anymore. I was planning on having sex again. I shaved. I ended up not having sex. I used a new vibrator I had just gotten for the first time. I over did it for sure.
Friday: my clit was sore and sensitive. Looked irritated . I used the vibrator more. I had a TON of razor bumps from the night before when I shaved. Over my entire pubic area and vagina. That never happens and i remember thinking it was strange. It itched terrible. At this point i wasn’t having any noticeable pain or itching when i wasn’t touching anything.
Saturday: still sensitive and swollen. Still used the vibrator. Razor bumps were better. I woke up that morning and my newish belly button piercing that ive had no issues with was DISGUSTING. Oozing orange/yellow everywhere and so swollen red and crusty. Not sure if this is related or not.. it’s weird though. My vagina was HURTING. I looked at it again and I was super red and irritated. The raw patch didn’t look any different in shape or color (still red + whiteish) but definitely inflamed. It was smaller than it originally was and went to a red sore with a white middle that was deeper than the original patch. It started leaking fluid. Yellowish. Not puss. Only hurt if i touched it still. I was hurting so bad towards the night on saturday. I even put ice on myself to try and ease it. I masturbated but did not use vibrator. Lymph nodes by my hip bones swelled up.
Sunday: lymph nodes went down. Then.. ITCHING!! Not the sore though. Not terrible and it really started at night. It literally woke me up it was so bad. The sore looked exactly the same. Belly button was worse. I wasn’t severely hurting all day- just irritated and sensitive like Saturday. Sunday night was rough though.. Woke up in the night and put a cold washcloth on myself. It started hurting really bad when I peed in the night. I also masturbated but no vibrator (I have a high sex drive ok)
Monday: THE WORST. The morning was fine even though night before was awful. I was at work and went to the bathroom to pee. First time it stung but fine. Second time mid day? It burned the same but the itching and burning after was awful. I couldn’t sit still. I went home and looked at everything again. All looked the same aside from the sore being a little dryer. No scab. I woke up in the night multiple times because of the burning + itching while I was sleeping again. My pee stopped stinging though that night and so did the itching and uncomfortablility. I poked at the sore a lot and definitely made it more irritated. My lymph nodes swelled again but worse and close right next to my pubic area that connects to my upper thigh. I can see them sticking out. They aren’t super hard and I can move them around though. Here is the worst part!!!!! I looked closer and I have a tear in my vagina!!!! Perineal grade one. It’s kind of jagged though and has tears/rips with white around them in some places. It doesn’t hurt to touch, just a little itchy if I do and I have a lot of runny white discharge that has no smell.
Tuesday (today): woke up in the night before twice. Morning has been fine so far aside from my pee stinging a little in my first pee. I looked again this morning and everything looks the same, but more irritated because of how much I have poked at it. It was leaking a lot of orange-ish fluid in the night from the sore. I am feeling fine now but I can feel the irritation on my vagina if I pay attention to it. I never feel the sore unless I hit it. My discharge has been completely normal otherwise. Only my actual clit/vag/labia/etc itches and burns. Not the sore.

SUMMARY:
I have an open circular / oval sore on my vulva by my vaginal opening. It started as a raw red patch that looked like my skin got rubbed off after unprotected aggressive sex (swelled really bad after). It was all healing until i shaved and over used an intense vibrator. It is now surrounded by red with a whiteish opening in the middle that hurts only when i touch it. It is also right next to a grade one perineal tear at the opening of my vagina. I have been having swollen groin lymph nodes and a lot of pain and itching at times. I also have burning pee sometimes. Everything comes and goes which is weird. It’s been 9 days. The sore hasn’t changed much at all aside from getting a little smaller. My discharge has been normal aside from a little more coming from my tear. The sore has never hurt (even now) unless i touch it. Also never itches in of itself. Never had any blisters. Entire pubic area is itchy and burns bad sometimes. The sore leaks orange liquid. It’s all awful at night. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!? im freaking out!!!

Thank you for the help!

Really long but I NEED HELP!!!!!

All relevant info listed in a timeline:
Sun: had really rough sex with a partner ive been casually seeing / hooking up with for a few months. we had unprotected sex for a minute or two at the end. He pulled out. I was SO SWOLLEN immediately afterwards. It was scary. I’ve never swelled like that before. I was super tender and sensitive but not overly painful.
Mon/Tuesday: the swelling went down a good bit. i was still sensitive and tender. On one of these days i found a raw patch of skin on my vulva by my vaginal opening. It stung whenever I touched it which is how I found it. I looked at it in the mirror and just saw a raw red patch of skin. Looked like the top layer of my skin had been rubbed off. I didn’t think anything about it since we had ROUGH sex. It did not hurt/sting unless i touched it or wiped.
Tuesday/Wednesday: the raw patch started to heal/crust/scab around the boarder. Looked whiteish. By Wednesday I was feeling much better. No pain.
Thursday: felt fine again. Raw patch wasn’t super sensitive or stinging anymore. I was planning on having sex again. I shaved. I ended up not having sex. I used a new vibrator I had just gotten for the first time. I over did it for sure.
Friday: my clit was sore and sensitive. Looked irritated . I used the vibrator more. I had a TON of razor bumps from the night before when I shaved. Over my entire pubic area and vagina. That never happens and i remember thinking it was strange. It itched terrible. At this point i wasn’t having any noticeable pain or itching when i wasn’t touching anything.
Saturday: still sensitive and swollen. Still used the vibrator. Razor bumps were better. I woke up that morning and my newish belly button piercing that ive had no issues with was DISGUSTING. Oozing orange/yellow everywhere and so swollen red and crusty. Not sure if this is related or not.. it’s weird though. My vagina was HURTING. I looked at it again and I was super red and irritated. The raw patch didn’t look any different in shape or color (still red + whiteish) but definitely inflamed. It was smaller than it originally was and went to a red sore with a white middle that was deeper than the original patch. It started leaking fluid. Yellowish. Not puss. Only hurt if i touched it still. I was hurting so bad towards the night on saturday. I even put ice on myself to try and ease it. I masturbated but did not use vibrator. Lymph nodes by my hip bones swelled up.
Sunday: lymph nodes went down. Then.. ITCHING!! Not the sore though. Not terrible and it really started at night. It literally woke me up it was so bad. The sore looked exactly the same. Belly button was worse. I wasn’t severely hurting all day- just irritated and sensitive like Saturday. Sunday night was rough though.. Woke up in the night and put a cold washcloth on myself. It started hurting really bad when I peed in the night. I also masturbated but no vibrator (I have a high sex drive ok)
Monday: THE WORST. The morning was fine even though night before was awful. I was at work and went to the bathroom to pee. First time it stung but fine. Second time mid day? It burned the same but the itching and burning after was awful. I couldn’t sit still. I went home and looked at everything again. All looked the same aside from the sore being a little dryer. No scab. I woke up in the night multiple times because of the burning + itching while I was sleeping again. My pee stopped stinging though that night and so did the itching and uncomfortablility. I poked at the sore a lot and definitely made it more irritated. My lymph nodes swelled again but worse and close right next to my pubic area that connects to my upper thigh. I can see them sticking out. They aren’t super hard and I can move them around though. Here is the worst part!!!!! I looked closer and I have a tear in my vagina!!!! Perineal grade one. It’s kind of jagged though and has tears/rips with white around them in some places. It doesn’t hurt to touch, just a little itchy if I do and I have a lot of runny white discharge that has no smell.
Tuesday (today): woke up in the night before twice. Morning has been fine so far aside from my pee stinging a little in my first pee. I looked again this morning and everything looks the same, but more irritated because of how much I have poked at it. It was leaking a lot of orange-ish fluid in the night from the sore. I am feeling fine now but I can feel the irritation on my vagina if I pay attention to it. I never feel the sore unless I hit it. My discharge has been completely normal otherwise. Only my actual clit/vag/labia/etc itches and burns. Not the sore.

SUMMARY:
I have an open circular / oval sore on my vulva by my vaginal opening. It started as a raw red patch that looked like my skin got rubbed off after unprotected aggressive sex (swelled really bad after). It was all healing until i shaved and over used an intense vibrator. It is now surrounded by red with a whiteish opening in the middle that hurts only when i touch it. It is also right next to a grade one perineal tear at the opening of my vagina. I have been having swollen groin lymph nodes and a lot of pain and itching at times. I also have burning pee sometimes. Everything comes and goes which is weird. It’s been 9 days. The sore hasn’t changed much at all aside from getting a little smaller. My discharge has been normal aside from a little more coming from my tear. The sore has never hurt (even now) unless i touch it. Also never itches in of itself. Never had any blisters. Entire pubic area is itchy and burns bad sometimes. The sore leaks orange liquid. It’s all awful at night. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!? im freaking out!!!

Thank you for the help!