u/Unlikely-Emphasis-78

35 year old female, can’t get over 115 pounds for the life of me. I’ve had a multitude of seemingly disconnected health issues basically my whole life. I recently went to a GI after a bad IBS flare and my Anoin Gap came back low on bloodwork. It was also low back in 2022, but my doctor said it was probably just an error. I’ve had bloodwork in between, and although other measures have been wonky, my anoin gap hasn’t been low again until now. I called my doctor and have an appointment in a couple weeks, but I’m losing sleep.

He is gone now, but I had started to convince myself that I was going crazy, to the point that I was considering in patent mental health treatment because of uncontrollable panic attacks nearly every Monday morning. Everything makes sense now and I’m so mad at myself for not seeing it sooner. My therapist is also very upset for me (which feels validating) because she’s been witnessing me losing my mind for the last year, tearing myself apart piece by piece all in attempts to figure out what the hell is wrong with me. This job is reason she and I even know each other.

I’ve never been more depressed and exhausted in my entire life; it’s been really dark. Now that he’s gone, in some sense I feel like there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, but at the same time, I don’t know how the hell I’m supposed to just keep showing up and doing this. Any suggestions on how to proceed? I have looked for other jobs, and haven’t found much luck, although I don’t really know how I would be able to start fresh anywhere right now with my current.

Thanks for coming to my sob fest.