10 first dates, barely any second dates. Is this normal or am I doing something wrong?
I'm in my early 30s(F), fairly new to the US. I moved here from India for grad school and started using Hinge about three months ago.
I’d say I get a decent amount of interest in my profile and I’m pretty confident about being able to hold conversations. I've been on roughly 10 first dates, of which 2–3 turned into second dates, but nothing progressed further. There have been a few guys I genuinely wanted to see again, but the interest seemingly wasn't mutual. I'm finding the rejection a little difficult and wondering if there's something I'm doing wrong.
I'm someone who takes time to develop attraction. I don't expect fireworks on a first date, especially with the nerves and awkwardness of meeting a stranger. If I find someone interesting, I'm usually open to a second date to explore the connection.
I've been reflecting on a few things that might be affecting my dates:
- Appearance: I look fairly similar to my pictures, although naturally more posed and put-together in photos. I'm also very short and petite (no boobs or butt lol), so while I’m not trying to misrepresent myself in my pictures, it might not be obvious without seeing me in person?
- Accent: I have an Indian accent, and I wonder if that surprises people or affects attraction.
- Flirting: I'm not naturally flirtatious with someone I've just met. I smile, laugh, make eye contact, and engage in conversation, but I struggle to create obvious romantic tension.
- Conversation: I try to ask thoughtful questions and show curiosity, but I can get carried away talking when I'm passionate about something. Maybe I come across as too chatty rather than composed?
Generally, I feel like my dates involve good conversations and laughter, but I don't always sense romantic interest from the other person.
Is this a normal first-to-second-date ratio on Hinge? Do most people expect an immediate spark? Or is there something about my approach that I should work on?
I'm open to constructive criticism. I know attraction can't be forced and dating takes time, but it's disappointing when I'd genuinely like to get to know someone better and don't get that second chance. Just trying to understand whether I'm overthinking a normal dating experience or missing something.