u/Unlucky-Meringue-187

Humans are supposed to feel good when we do good things for people. I feel unable to do so. i help people do things, nothing. I hold open doors, nothing. things that are seen as good things to do give me no enjoyment. no happiness. i have started to lose the point of doing these things. Humans are supposed to feel empathy for people they care for. i was comforting a friend after a pet death, she was crying, upset as exspected, but i do not feel anything. nothing. Humans are supposed to want relationships. i find myself somewhat repusled by love of most forms. i can not relate when people say that a story was terribly sad because a couple didnt get a happy end, i do not care. Humans arent supposed to enjoy creeping people out. i have a odd smile and sharp teeth(this has been said by friends and parents) and i enjoy saying random creepy or disterbing things to get a reaction. Another thing, i often think about hurting things, i will not get into details, but it both disguseds me and intresses me. I do not feel human, i feel off, or absent. even in spaces with people who also have ADHD and/or Autism i still do not feel human. i..suppose i just want help? closur? advice? ideas on what is wrong with me. i just needed to get this out.