Parents.
Hi Reddit! Please delete if this isn’t allowed/off topic. I will start from the beginning. In September of last year I posted on here if I should move in with my boyfriend or not and I did. I moved out of my father and step mom’s house and I finally felt free. My dad has not spoken to me since and he is actually getting married to step mom this September. I will get to the main point the advice I need I guess is how do I feel about this?
From the start I grew up without my mother. The story always changed she left, she hated my dad and I, she didn’t want a kid, she cheated, it was always something different from everyone I asked. What I was told was I was born in Japan came to America my father and I moved and my mom went back to Japan and thats all I knew.
This last winter after moving in with my boyfriend I felt like I was finally ready to find her. So I went on a deep dive and long story short actually found my mother. After my entire life i actually found her and started talking to her on Facebook. One of the first things I asked her is wtf happened?
What she told me was that my father and her came to america (he was on deployment in Japan) and lived with my grandparents. She was suffering through postpartum depression and was completely by herself in America. My dad was working multiple jobs and also cheating on my mother which she would find out through multiply different people years later.
Since she was on a visa (I think) my dad kind of controlled her money, her spending, what she does all of it. She didn’t have a job and had never previously even worked in her life as she was 20 when she had me. My dad kept saying he was going to buy her a plane ticket back to Japan but eventually made her overstay her welcome in America leading her to not be able to come back to America for 3 years. My father eventually bought her a ticket back to Japan and when she got there he cut off all contact. Occasionally calling her and letting me talk to her but that was it.
My mother would see pictures of me and said she didn’t reach out because she didn’t want to ruin my happiness. Later on everyone in my family actually blocked her and she wasn’t able to find me again. So I spent the rest of my life without a mother and with a father who didn’t care much about me.
My question is how am I supposed to feel? What do I do? Do I do anything? I’m begging confused and have been trying to sort out my feeling almost a year later. Do I be mad at my dad? Do I not believe anyone? I don’t know. I’m sorry if this is super long but please help me out.