u/Upper_Shape_9306

I’m 8 months postpartum and I feel so lonely tonight.
I keep seeing posts/advice about postpartum loneliness that say things like “ask someone to watch the baby,” “get a break,” “take time for yourself,” etc. And I realize that’s not what I’m looking for at all.

I don’t want a break from my baby. I love being with her. I want my baby. I want my family.

I want people in our lives who actually want to be part of our lives. I want my family to come over and see her. I want cousins and aunts and friends who are excited about her. I want people to celebrate her milestones with us. I want to go for coffee with another mom and our babies. I want people who will text me because they want to know how we are doing, not because they need something.

My husband is actually wonderful and helps me a lot. He’s very involved and he also can’t say no when someone needs help. But I’m realizing that one person can’t be my entire village. I need more people.
And the hardest part is that I’m always the person who shows up for everyone else.

Nobody showed up for us. I no longer have my parents so that’s why I helped my sister so much and got nothing back.

When my sister had her baby, I was there constantly helping. Now my sister-in-law just had a newborn and we’ve gone over to help with their house and their toddler. And I genuinely don’t regret helping them. I can’t see someone struggling and just walk away. That’s just who I am.

But sometimes I come home and think:
Who shows up for me?

Nobody has helped us
I’m still only 8 months postpartum.I’m still exhausted. I still need support too. And lately I’ve realized how much it hurts that I seem to have people around me who need me, but not many people who simply want to be there for me.

My baby’s baptism is also in two weeks, and I think that’s what finally broke me tonight. I’m watching my family make huge efforts and fuss over other people’s events, while I feel like I’m struggling to organize my daughter’s baptism largely on my own. My dad’s family is all a plane ride away, so they can’t really be there either.

And I know this probably sounds ridiculous to some people because it’s just a baptism, but it’s not really about the baptism.

I think I just desperately wanted to look around that day and see my people surrounding my baby.
I wanted to feel like “Look at all these people who love her. Look at all these people who love us.”
Instead I’m sitting on my couch at 3 AM crying because I feel like I don’t have that.

I’m not looking for advice about getting a break from my baby. I’m not looking to complain about my husband—he’s actually doing a lot. I just want a family/village.
I want to know I’m not the only mom who feels this way.
Did anyone else feel this lonely around 8 months postpartum? Did you eventually find your people? ❤️

I’m 8 months postpartum and I feel so lonely tonight.
I keep seeing posts/advice about postpartum loneliness that say things like “ask someone to watch the baby,” “get a break,” “take time for yourself,” etc. And I realize that’s not what I’m looking for at all.

I don’t want a break from my baby. I love being with her. I want my baby. I want my family.

I want people in our lives who actually want to be part of our lives. I want my family to come over and see her. I want cousins and aunts and friends who are excited about her. I want people to celebrate her milestones with us. I want to go for coffee with another mom and our babies. I want people who will text me because they want to know how we are doing, not because they need something.

My husband is actually wonderful and helps me a lot. He’s very involved and he also can’t say no when someone needs help. But I’m realizing that one person can’t be my entire village. I need more people.
And the hardest part is that I’m always the person who shows up for everyone else.

Nobody showed up for us. I no longer have my parents so that’s why I helped my sister so much and got nothing back.

When my sister had her baby, I was there constantly helping. Now my sister-in-law just had a newborn and we’ve gone over to help with their house and their toddler. And I genuinely don’t regret helping them. I can’t see someone struggling and just walk away. That’s just who I am.

But sometimes I come home and think:
Who shows up for me?

Nobody has helped us
I’m still only 8 months postpartum.I’m still exhausted. I still need support too. And lately I’ve realized how much it hurts that I seem to have people around me who need me, but not many people who simply want to be there for me.

My baby’s baptism is also in two weeks, and I think that’s what finally broke me tonight. I’m watching my family make huge efforts and fuss over other people’s events, while I feel like I’m struggling to organize my daughter’s baptism largely on my own. My dad’s family is all a plane ride away, so they can’t really be there either.

And I know this probably sounds ridiculous to some people because it’s just a baptism, but it’s not really about the baptism.

I think I just desperately wanted to look around that day and see my people surrounding my baby.
I wanted to feel like “Look at all these people who love her. Look at all these people who love us.”
Instead I’m sitting on my couch at 3 AM crying because I feel like I don’t have that.

I’m not looking for advice about getting a break from my baby. I’m not looking to complain about my husband—he’s actually doing a lot. I just want a family/village.
I want to know I’m not the only mom who feels this way.
Did anyone else feel this lonely around 8 months postpartum? Did you eventually find your people? ❤️