u/Upset-Confusion6873

For the past 2 years my partner and I have been renting from his parents because they didn’t want to sell their house and wanted to be closer to his brother and the grandkids, so they moved to SoCal, we moved in. Recently, his dad had brain surgery for his Parkinson’s and has been dealing with a lot of new mental symptoms. He has become manic some days and is definitely not himself anymore. Because of this, it has become very stressful for his mom to manage alone so she felt like moving back was the best option. I totally understood that especially because his dad was so sweet and quiet. Now he’s not. We now have to live with his parents until we can move into our apartment which won’t be ready until December…

The issue that I am having is that we were told completely last minute that they were coming back to move in. They called my partner at work and basically said “we got you a plane ticket, you have to come now and help us drive back home”. We are gone 11 hours a day and commute. We have 3 dogs and get 3 hours a day to ourselves. Our routine and deep cleaning happens on the weekend. This was so unexpected and last minute, so I mentioned to the mom that the house was messy. She said she understood and felt bad for imposing but wanted to come home right away. Again, I completely understood that. I just wanted to make sure she knew she wasn’t walking into a clean house.

The 2nd day she called my partner to pretty much scold him about how dirty the house was. He was getting stressed out with no sleep and having to fly. I was upset because she said she didn’t care when she obviously did. I texted her separately and just told her that next time I wish she would tell me first so that she doesn’t have to stress out my partner. I’m the one that cleans and I’m also here to help. I explained that he has enough on his plate at the moment. Instead of understanding what I said, she blew up and told me that she felt unwanted at the house and was going to call her other son to come get them. Totally escalating the situation. I explained that I am not attacking her, simply asking for a favor for the sake of everyone’s sanity.

Day 3 I was thinking about coming home from work early to talk to her personally and explain the misunderstanding. TELL ME WHY I came home and she had my furniture outside. She decided that my bath and kitchen mats were trash and put them in a big pile along with other trash. My table outside (which one of the leg pieces broke off and now it wobbles), my plants that were propagating inside, outside. She had the nerve to remove one of my vases to put one of her plant clippings in. Then removed and replaced all of my kitchen items and decorations with her things. Set mine in a box on the floor. I was livid and so upset, yet I didn’t say anything to her because I am trying to keep peace and not cause stress for the dad in his mental state and for my partner being in the middle.

Today is day 5. I haven’t left the room. My partner has been very understanding of my situation and totally agrees that his mom was way out of line. He spoke to her yesterday in hopes things would get resolved, but instead she got defensive. Saying that she doesn’t see anything wrong with having the house cleaned and that the table was in the way of his dad and causing him to trip. All of this happening I would have been okay with had I been notified or asked. Literally just to be fucking considered. Instead she is mad and saying why does she need to consult with me. Then got super dramatic saying that she doesn’t feel comfortable because of the tension in the house. Mind you, I have been in the room and quiet. Trying to stay out of the way and because I’m upset. I don’t understand how someone could be so inconsiderate. She apologized to my partner but not to me. She said she would buy me a new table, etc. That’s not what I want! It’s easy for her to just throw things away as she pleases and buy new things. Not for me. For her to act like this is beyond me. There’s nowhere that will let me rent temporarily on short notice and staying with friends or family is not an option. What would you do in this situation?

What makes you commit to a workout each day ? I’m a 5’2” F and weigh 170lbs. I’m about to turn 30 and I know that the older I get, the more difficult it becomes to lose weight. I understand that I’m overweight, so I’ve been trying to work on myself. I cook almost every day and have some cheat meals here & there - specifically twice a month - so I don’t think I’m THAT bad.

I work a desk job 9 hrs a day, so I am sedentary. I try to go on walks each day and I go to a barre class twice a week, but I have weeks where I won’t do anything and I can’t get up. Is it laziness or depression? What do you recommend to get me pumped to working out? I absolutely dread working out and am genuinely bored when I’m lifting weights. I’m constantly checking on the time to see how soon I will finish. I just don’t find it fun. I wish I would enjoy it more so that it wouldn’t feel like such a chore. I really want to nip this in the bud now before I gain anymore weight. It’s not so much that I hate working out, I do feel joy upon completing a workout, but it’s the actual start of forcing myself to do it. If that makes sense. Open to any recommendations.

I was an alcoholic for 9 years straight. Towards the end, I was blacking out a lot (almost every time I was drinking). I have been a month sober now, but I have noticed myself struggling a lot more now. Keep in mind I was not taking any ADHD medication due to the fact that I knew I was a heavy drinker.

I thought by now I would feel more clarity but instead feel like my mind is racing literally all day. I talk to myself a lot in my head and go through so many topics and thoughts in my head. I feel crazy in my head and can’t afford therapy at the moment, so no medication now. I have been finding it more difficult to focus at work or on anything. I have an office job & before I was able to multitask & execute my projects with ease. It’s not like I was drunk at work or anything but I can’t do any task now besides be on my phone. Do you think the alcohol was suppressing something in my brain that was holding back some ADHD symptoms?

I personally did not grow up with the greatest family and am not close to my family at all, but I do understand healthy family dynamics. My partner’s parents are nice, but some times feel like a burden. His parents moved 6 hours away, so I get that they may miss my partner, but my MIL is kind of annoying because she’s obsessed with her boys (my partner & his brother - both grown men). She literally wants to come visit every other month & they usually stay at our house for 1-2 weeks at a time. In 2025, I totaled their visits to about 2 whole months. I feel like that’s kind of a lot? I want to just live my life with my partner. Not spend a few weeks together then have to stress about his parents coming over.

On top of that, my partner is not one to put his foot down towards his mom. I feel like she totally guilt trips him about why she has to come. It’s always something with her. Sometimes we even get into arguments over this - which is never fun. In my head I see it as they moved away, so why do we have to host them each time. Last year my birthday landed on Thanksgiving and she even pressured us into spending Thanksgiving with them. I 100% did not want to spend my birthday with them & wanted to plan a vacation getaway. I was so upset with my partner that he gave in to her & not me. Now she wants to come visit next week (literally told us this today) and expects my partner to go visit them in 4 weeks. Is this a normal amount for families to see each other? I feel like it’s excessive and the cord needs to be cut.

I have relapsed from drinking and have lost myself again. I am 3 days sober again now today, but I feel terrible and am filled with shame and regret. I don’t want to continue down this cycle. I’ve ruined my life already before & cannot go down this path again. I need hope. Please pray for me.