u/Upset_Question1200

I have epilepsy. I was born with a heart problem. I broke my neck in an injury. None of these things compare to the pain I feel from limerence. I am so. Fucking. Tired. I am so fucking tired of being obsessed with this person who I met 13 years ago and haven’t talked to in 8 years. I think about them 24 hours a day. And it’s ruining my life. They’re not even in my life anymore and there’s no way to contact them. But here I am, completely destroyed with limerence. I can’t take it anymore.

I was diagnosed with epilepsy this year and had a severe injury during my last seizure. I can’t take showers alone, I can’t drive, I am entirely relying on my wife to take care of me. She has PTSD of seeing me in cardiac arrest and has nightmares about me dying.

I love my wife. I love her to death. We’ve been together for 17 years and I am in my mid 30’s now. I feel awful that I feel like I am not physically attracted to her anymore and haven’t been for some time, even before all of this. We have a great relationship otherwise, but the intimacy isn’t there and hasn’t been for a while. When it does happen, it doesn’t feel good to me. I can’t stomach the thought of ending my marriage over this. Especially after everything we’ve been through. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to waste her life and mine by sticking through a sexless marriage. But I do love her and I mean it when I say it. She’s a wonderful and caring person and I feel like a piece of shit.