My fiancé [36m] is upset with me [ 30f] because I don’t want to do anal sex anymore. Anyone got advice? Or been through similar?
So my fiance seems to be extremely insecure about my ex partner.
I did anal sex with my ex, not often but the main important point is that he raped me anally so I’m just not the best interested in it. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I enjoy it but it just isn’t something I want to do.
I was with my ex 9 years, he was emotionally abusive and groomed me from 16. I’ve been with my fiance 2 years. I’ve done anal with my fiance and I just don’t really like doing it.
He also slept with a 19 year old before he met me and he did anal sex with her, it just puts me off him doing that at the age he was (in his 30’s) and did it so freely with someone on a night stand. I believe in my opinion anal is a big thing.
Anyway, I just don’t want to do it and my fiance is saying how he’s second to my ex, he always will be and I always gave more to him than I will give to him. He said it’s embarrassing that his friends from work will say their girlfriends have done anal with them and they love it and never did it with their ex. It angers me so much how men think they have control and own their women’s bodies, it really does.
If you got this far, thanks, I’m just wondering if anyone else has being in this situation and did you ever overcome it?
Edit - he also says he’s allowed to feel like this and that I had more of an experience with my ex than I give to him now. I honestly cannot cope with this anymore.
Another edit - he doesn’t pressure me into doing it and not once has he ever done that. It’s how he feels about it that’s his issue, but I don’t know what I’m supposed to do