Hello, my formerly stray adopted cat Margo needs a tooth out very badly, and I can't afford the $700+ the place I took her wanted. She's miserable, and I'm upset and unsure where to turn. I know there's a low cost places, but without some specifics ahead of time I'm afraid of hitting another wall expense wise. Thanks everyone.
It's been so isolating to hear voices. Every time I bring a delusion up with someone, explaining that I just need a bit of clarity, that I know I'm off base, I just need to hear from them that everything's okay, a bit of reassurance could ground me and I can let the idea go...
I feel like they get angry, sure that I "think" that about them, and how could I? Then they probably tell someone, "He thinks I'm plotting against him! He's dangerous!" Maybe they don't. But I feel more and more resentment building against me and the phone rings less often. I retain insight. I know my thinking is off kilter, I always acknowledge that. I also acknowledge that it's surely tiresome and frustrating, even if I don't bring such things up that often. It's a lonely place to be caught up in one's head and nobody can bring themselves to care.
I worry that people think I'm a liability because I know what they're up to, the sketchy stuff they've done and said. I feel paranoid, I know that it colors my perceptions a lot but I just feel scared now. Like people just want me erased because there's some distant chance I'm going to feel compelled to hurt someone or react violently. Or maybe just that I'm going to find out what shit they've talked about me. It's paralyzing to a degree, but I just have to be at peace, and not need other people so much I think.
I am a socially anxious, sometimes awkward, sometimes charming, usually odd but sometimes inspiring person, I guess. Awkwardness is near the top of things one just can't be in our society, and I think that's unfair. I enjoy an awkward person tbh. It puts me at ease!
Does anyone have any advice for me? I am pursuing grounding and a bit of respite in my interactions but maybe that's unbalanced or unfair to friends. I feel like theres something they're not saying. Tired of wondering. How else can I soothe myself other than alcohol? It's my go to, but I'm quitting again. Thanks! All the best to everybody.