u/UsernameTakenRetry

8 pm and I saunter into the swanky Monte Carlo hotel. I reek of cheap whiskey and stale tobacco. 15 days I've been tracking my target... Goes by the nickname 'Big Flush'. Mr.Flush is a large figure, with an even larger payout as the days go on. Legal Name Fred Lush. F. Lush. Get it? I decide to pass the time by joining some other bounty hunters at the Hold'em' table.

I put 600,000 pesos on the table. Table maximum. Most of the seated players have well over a million pesos. Doesn't bother me one bit. Before I'm dealt in the dealer alerts me _"We've got erselves a bounty game been going fer roun'bout 15 hands. First player to win with a flush gets the bounty pot"_

I immediately take off 500,000 of my 600,000 pesos.

After several minutes and a few hands I'm dealt two cards with the same suit. Finally I can play. Without looking at the number or face I announce that I'm all in. A couple big stacks call behind me and it's going three ways with 300,000 in the pot. Turn flop and river come but I don't get a flush. I reload for the minimum again. The bounty pot it nearing a million chips.

Fast forward thirty minutes. I'm down 830,000 but the bounty has continue to grow. I only have 70,000 pesos left. The bounty is now around 4.5 million pesos. Dealt 3♦️ 4♦️. I start to slowly push my stack to the middle. More groans around the table. Everyone folds except a new player who just sat down. Big cowboy fella. Hat the size of Texas itself.

I take a sip from my whiskey skin and stand up to leave the table. Shit it's empty. Dealer flops 5♦️ 6♦️ 10♣️. I immediately get a hard on. Insane. I might be the best bounty hunter ever. I FEEL the flush imminent. Turns 2 ♦️. SICK. Straight flush. Easy money.

I notice the new player that sits down is sweating profusely. Huge droplets fall off of his thick head. _"You ok pal?"_ I ask. Needling only. Genuinely don't care. River is 9♦️

I flip my cards and start taking in MY bounty pot. Large sweaty fella says _"Hold up there lil bud"_. I look over. He has flipped his cards. 7♦️ 8♦️. I feel my vision going blurry... Perhaps the whiskey is working it's magic. Tightness in my chest... I'm fading.

I fall forward into his arms. _"Get off of me I ain't no homosexual!"_ My vision. My chips. My whiskey. All gone. Before I lose conscienceness I look up into the eyes of the cowboy winner, my foil, the villain... It's Mr.Flush. I've been out straight flushed by a striaght mister Fred lush.

You know how we have all had those awful bad beats where you get it in as a huge favorite and then some donkey gets exactly what they need on the river? I'm not talking about bad beats I'm talking about horrendous soul crushing beats. Lately I have been having nothing but the worst of beats.

I only play the freshest of cards....the pairs, the high face cards or the occasional suited connectors. Still, I can't seem to win. Now a normal person might change their play style or take a break to let emotions settle or maybe even stop min raising the Monaco table... I AM NOT THAT GUY!

Anyway. The issue, and the actual discussion I came here to speak to you about and with you my dear reader is as the following says hitherto: **The moderators and the greater player base are conspiring against me to take every last one of my chips**

Ex. 1 - Today I logged in, as I do every day, to collect my free daily cash. WHAT? HUH?!?! It's been set back to day 1. I haven't missed a day. I have NEVER missed a day. I have several alarms set.

Ex. 2 - Those two guys with very similar names and the same niche card protector who were playing in tandem and basically sharing pots back and forth. I am monitoring both of your accounts.

Ex. 3 - I was crushing shootouts and then all of a sudden, seconds away from my second spade table win the game was cancelled and has not been made available again.

Ex. 4 - I have played poker in real life before and I probably am a winning player if we don't count the nights that my buddy Hudson brings a 12 pack of PBR. This game is allegedly fair. Why am I not winning then? Answer: Stacked odds against me.

Ex. 5 - GTO poker. I have basically memorized which hands are the best in every situation. I employ GTO card reading strategies to maximize gains and minimize losses.

The above examples have led me to believe that the moderators and a large portion of social poker users are partaking in a concerted effort to dampen my shine and steal my beloved imaginary chips.

As usual, I do not accept criticism (unable to mentally process it, huge issue) and if you think I am not playing correctly you should probably go play at a high stakes $1/$2 table to get a REAL feel for the game

A few days ago I neglected to log in and play poker. After nearly a month of grinding and losing hands by three-betting middle pair I ALSO lost my free daily 200,000 dollar-e-doos. Upon losing my free government handouts I quickly lost 8 million of my hoarded 15 million.

I am now officially below the poverty line. It does not feel good to look at my balance and think "If I went all-in at the Monaco table 10 times I'd have nothing left". It's a scary level of vulnerability and it has led me to the following beliefs: Social poker needs more safety nets for it's gambling addicted citizens.

Perhaps they could up the value you earn from watching other people's crummy replays? Lord knows I am not yet desperate enough to play the replays for pennies... But if I need to do it.. I have an entire week or two built up, but even then... That would probably only net me like 250k. RIPOFF!

Another idea which would remain in the spirit of degenerate gambling against robots: Coin flips against robots or roulette. If I had the opportunity to gamble my chips prior to me gambling my chips I think I would have twice as much physical dependence on my make believe coins.

Another great idea is to go ahead and break federal law and allow us to spend our *REAL* money to buy fake coins to the then spend on poker dollar-e-doos to then allow us to go all-in with a gut shot straight draw on the turn. Just a thought.

Thank you for reading my post. If you've made it this far please upvote this post because my mental well being is entirely dependent on virtual currency such as upvotes and poker dollars. I also do not take criticism.. I just don't accept it. So please only say positive things.

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Short stack opponent jams on the flop, and I flopped air. Call because chips are meaningless. Turned a gut shot. Riveted the straight. Took all his chips.

I'm so back :)

I am not sorry. I was trying to scam the bot by min raising and when you went all-in pre-flop the bot folded which made me mad. I called with 2♦️6❤️ and beat your pocket kings with a heart flush on the river.

Chips mean nothing to me. Play better poker.