u/UsernameTakenRetry

Spin that fucking wheel and post your jackpot so a bum like me can get chips! The chips don't create themselves! I'm sick and tired of BILLIONAIRES not spinning the FUCKING wheel!!! It is your civic duty to give to the poors such as myself! Or at the very least spin a jackpot, post it, rake in the residuals, and help out your common man.

I bow, I kneel, I scrape for my fucking chips. I work hard! I once even watched a replay (sickening and boring) in hopes of getting more chips. I'll do anything for chips, so why can't the fat cats in the upper 1% of the tax bracket spin a FREE wheel for FREE chips? Is it beneath you? Do you think you're Sashimi_rollin_? You're only me but with 1,256,500,400 chips!

*Help your fellow chip rat and spin that FUCKING wheel!!!*

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The chicken? Or the egg? These questions fly through my mind as I awoke this morning. I peeled off my cardboard, took a quick bowel movement behind the dumpster, and walked across the street to the casino. Sheryl took the kids to her sister's house so that's +EV in terms of food costs. Alimony is -EV but I'm not sure about the total values seeing as I haven't signed the papers yet. Anywayyyy

Walk over to the cage and the employee sighs and slides me my free daily chips. God is good and merciful. I hope I don't smell or they will kick me out of the casino like that time last Thursday. Walk over to the low stakes 1/2 "Vegas" table. Ah. Life is good.

First hand: 3♣️ 7♠️

*Wow a triple-gapper. And both the same color at that!*

I immediately shove all in while waving at the other playerswhile simultaneously beginning to apply my clown makeup (it's a ritual, you wouldn't get it). Four callers. Flop comes 4 5 6 rainbow. Allah knows I had that one coming. Tasty tasty 50k chips in the middle, all coming home (alleyway) with me... Suddenly floor comes over and tells me I've been BANNED.. AGAIN.. "But... I've been banned twice already so I thought that cancelled out"

No dice. Nope. Nada. Back home early. Just in time for the fresh cardboard from the bakery next door. Silver linings friends... Silver linings.

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It is me, your best friend and loyal advocate UsernameTakenRetry. I am here to submit a request for compensation in the form of maybe 50 or 60 thousand imaginary chips. My request is not without reason- for you see I fell upon hard times while playing at the Monte Carlo table, as one does, and I realized I don't have enough chips to pay my rent this month. My landlord Sashimi-rollin is already hesitant to allow me to live at the casino after last months late payment. Normally I would watch winning hand replays to scrape together enough to support my housing needs, alas when I watch the replays they no longer give me chips.

Please fix this issue. I watched dozens of replays (horrible experience) and went to play poker and realized that not one single chip had been deposited into my account. I write to you all during my lowest moment. Please support me and in turn I will continue to support the community I have grown to love. With a small donation of 50 or 60 thousand chips I can continue to support my family while also spamming 🤡 + 👋 against anyone I beat when I have a worse hand.

Thank you

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apology for poor england

when were you when bounty hunting dead?

I was sat at home drinking coffee and spamming minimum buy at macau

friend is call me 'bounty hunt is kill'

'no'

'yes. reduce.'

I am thinking that the mods have removed this because for the second time in a row I have reached 200k daily bonus and then the following day it resets back to the minimum amount. Anything less than 200k is actual pennies for most players.

I play daily. I haven't missed one.

8 pm and I saunter into the swanky Monte Carlo hotel. I reek of cheap whiskey and stale tobacco. 15 days I've been tracking my target... Goes by the nickname 'Big Flush'. Mr.Flush is a large figure, with an even larger payout as the days go on. Legal Name Fred Lush. F. Lush. Get it? I decide to pass the time by joining some other bounty hunters at the Hold'em' table.

I put 600,000 pesos on the table. Table maximum. Most of the seated players have well over a million pesos. Doesn't bother me one bit. Before I'm dealt in the dealer alerts me _"We've got erselves a bounty game been going fer roun'bout 15 hands. First player to win with a flush gets the bounty pot"_

I immediately take off 500,000 of my 600,000 pesos.

After several minutes and a few hands I'm dealt two cards with the same suit. Finally I can play. Without looking at the number or face I announce that I'm all in. A couple big stacks call behind me and it's going three ways with 300,000 in the pot. Turn flop and river come but I don't get a flush. I reload for the minimum again. The bounty pot it nearing a million chips.

Fast forward thirty minutes. I'm down 830,000 but the bounty has continue to grow. I only have 70,000 pesos left. The bounty is now around 4.5 million pesos. Dealt 3♦️ 4♦️. I start to slowly push my stack to the middle. More groans around the table. Everyone folds except a new player who just sat down. Big cowboy fella. Hat the size of Texas itself.

I take a sip from my whiskey skin and stand up to leave the table. Shit it's empty. Dealer flops 5♦️ 6♦️ 10♣️. I immediately get a hard on. Insane. I might be the best bounty hunter ever. I FEEL the flush imminent. Turns 2 ♦️. SICK. Straight flush. Easy money.

I notice the new player that sits down is sweating profusely. Huge droplets fall off of his thick head. _"You ok pal?"_ I ask. Needling only. Genuinely don't care. River is 9♦️

I flip my cards and start taking in MY bounty pot. Large sweaty fella says _"Hold up there lil bud"_. I look over. He has flipped his cards. 7♦️ 8♦️. I feel my vision going blurry... Perhaps the whiskey is working it's magic. Tightness in my chest... I'm fading.

I fall forward into his arms. _"Get off of me I ain't no homosexual!"_ My vision. My chips. My whiskey. All gone. Before I lose conscienceness I look up into the eyes of the cowboy winner, my foil, the villain... It's Mr.Flush. I've been out straight flushed by a striaght mister Fred lush.

You know how we have all had those awful bad beats where you get it in as a huge favorite and then some donkey gets exactly what they need on the river? I'm not talking about bad beats I'm talking about horrendous soul crushing beats. Lately I have been having nothing but the worst of beats.

I only play the freshest of cards....the pairs, the high face cards or the occasional suited connectors. Still, I can't seem to win. Now a normal person might change their play style or take a break to let emotions settle or maybe even stop min raising the Monaco table... I AM NOT THAT GUY!

Anyway. The issue, and the actual discussion I came here to speak to you about and with you my dear reader is as the following says hitherto: **The moderators and the greater player base are conspiring against me to take every last one of my chips**

Ex. 1 - Today I logged in, as I do every day, to collect my free daily cash. WHAT? HUH?!?! It's been set back to day 1. I haven't missed a day. I have NEVER missed a day. I have several alarms set.

Ex. 2 - Those two guys with very similar names and the same niche card protector who were playing in tandem and basically sharing pots back and forth. I am monitoring both of your accounts.

Ex. 3 - I was crushing shootouts and then all of a sudden, seconds away from my second spade table win the game was cancelled and has not been made available again.

Ex. 4 - I have played poker in real life before and I probably am a winning player if we don't count the nights that my buddy Hudson brings a 12 pack of PBR. This game is allegedly fair. Why am I not winning then? Answer: Stacked odds against me.

Ex. 5 - GTO poker. I have basically memorized which hands are the best in every situation. I employ GTO card reading strategies to maximize gains and minimize losses.

The above examples have led me to believe that the moderators and a large portion of social poker users are partaking in a concerted effort to dampen my shine and steal my beloved imaginary chips.

As usual, I do not accept criticism (unable to mentally process it, huge issue) and if you think I am not playing correctly you should probably go play at a high stakes $1/$2 table to get a REAL feel for the game

A few days ago I neglected to log in and play poker. After nearly a month of grinding and losing hands by three-betting middle pair I ALSO lost my free daily 200,000 dollar-e-doos. Upon losing my free government handouts I quickly lost 8 million of my hoarded 15 million.

I am now officially below the poverty line. It does not feel good to look at my balance and think "If I went all-in at the Monaco table 10 times I'd have nothing left". It's a scary level of vulnerability and it has led me to the following beliefs: Social poker needs more safety nets for it's gambling addicted citizens.

Perhaps they could up the value you earn from watching other people's crummy replays? Lord knows I am not yet desperate enough to play the replays for pennies... But if I need to do it.. I have an entire week or two built up, but even then... That would probably only net me like 250k. RIPOFF!

Another idea which would remain in the spirit of degenerate gambling against robots: Coin flips against robots or roulette. If I had the opportunity to gamble my chips prior to me gambling my chips I think I would have twice as much physical dependence on my make believe coins.

Another great idea is to go ahead and break federal law and allow us to spend our *REAL* money to buy fake coins to the then spend on poker dollar-e-doos to then allow us to go all-in with a gut shot straight draw on the turn. Just a thought.

Thank you for reading my post. If you've made it this far please upvote this post because my mental well being is entirely dependent on virtual currency such as upvotes and poker dollars. I also do not take criticism.. I just don't accept it. So please only say positive things.

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Short stack opponent jams on the flop, and I flopped air. Call because chips are meaningless. Turned a gut shot. Riveted the straight. Took all his chips.

I'm so back :)