u/V114Interview87

The explorers are taken on their knees to the cannibal chief who looks down on them and says...

"Do you know what we're going to do to you? Hmm? While the cauldrons boil we're gonna tenderize you with clubs. We're gonna take our knives and skin ya and tan ya hides to make canoes. Still alive we're gonna plunge ya into the boiling pots and boil what's left of you alive and eat ya! And what's left we'll feed to the dogs and the pigs! Whadda ya think of that eh?"

The head explorer pipes up accepting his fate and asks...

"Well can we at least have a last request?"

The chief laughs and says...

"Alright... What'll it be?"

"A knife. So I can end it less painfully."

"Done!"

The chief gives the explorer a knife and he escapes the pain of torture.

"And you?"

"Pass it over", says the second explorer and follows the example of the first.

"And you last man? What is your last request?"

The last explorer exclaims, "A Fork!"

The cannibals laugh at the request and when they calm the chief says, "Alright, alright settle down! Give the man a fork hah!"

the last explorer takes the fork and maniacally, repeatedly stabs himself all over his body screaming,

"YOU'RE NOT MAKING ANY BLOODY CANOE OUTTA ME!!!"

(Been telling that joke since I was a kid in the 80s but wondered if it would still be funny without the visual gag of the physical stabbing pantomime so thought I'd give it a shot telling it just in text. Credit goes to some random joke book in the 80s. Any feedback in comments on adjusting it would be great. Cheers! )