u/Valuable-Anybody7723

From what I understand, this is a 19-year-old bisexual person who says they're poly. I just thought it was funny that I got a notification for this post.

What do you think about cheating while drunk? I'm still trying to heal from several betrayals, the first one I suffered was in a 2 week dating and I was sick 1 week but not too much either. The second after 6 months of dating and I was sick for 1 year and a little more, but the intensity was well distributed so I didn't feel like I was dying. The third was after 9 months of actual relationship and that, that killed me, I was sick for a shorter period than the second (1 and a half months) but it's as if it had been 5 years of pain all concentrated in that period. It hurt so much that I fragmented for a while and only now am I regaining confidence and confidence that not everyone does it. So I find myself thinking about a lot of things to figure out if I'm the “weird” one who thinks like being drunk doesn't lead you to cheat or is it normal. What do you think?

I'm afraid I'll never heal from the betrayals I've been through. It was the one thing I always hoped would never happen to me because I knew how it would affect me. And it ended up being even worse than I had imagined. PTSD and paranoid personality disorder (both diagnosed) take away a lot of my clarity most of the time.
I'm now in a new relationship, and it's amazing—truly wonderful. I honestly believe it could last for decades, maybe even for the rest of our lives. I really mean that. But it won't if I don't heal.
Even though my girlfriend genuinely deserves my complete trust, for the past three months all I've been doing, every single day, is constantly fighting to break out of paranoid thought loops. Sometimes it's incredibly difficult. Then I calm down, convince myself I'm finally okay because I feel safe and at peace, and then the whole cycle starts all over again.
She also has PTSD and is afraid of being betrayed. We're basically the same person in about 80% of the ways we think and feel. Neither of us even has the slightest unconscious desire to be with anyone else.
But I want to heal. I want to give us the relationship we both deserve, and she's working incredibly hard on herself too. I just don't know how to do it. I have so many triggers, even nightmares that bring everything back.
Sorry for the vent.

Hello, I’m a 19-year-old demi guy. More precisely, I only feel attraction when I love someone. Of course I can recognize objective beauty, but I rarely feel aesthetic attraction on its own without that connection, and even on the few occasions I do feel it, it disappears after a few seconds.
I’m here because I feel like I could give infinite love to my girlfriend. I truly want to stay with her for the rest of my life, but when I read online I often see people saying that after around ten years couples break up. At the same time, I’ve also read about many couples who have been together for 30 years or more. That scares me, because from my own experiences I know that falling out of love is something I practically have to force myself to do actively. In fact, I’ve never been the one to leave. Obviously I don’t feel anything for my exes anymore; I just mean that I seem to have a harder time with this aspect than most people.
I’m also scared of polyamory and non-monogamous relationships. I know that I can only love one person, and honestly it’s impossible for me to love more than one at the same time.
But I’m deeply traumatized by my past experiences. Not all my exes cheated on me, absolutely not… but the few who did added some extra “spice” to the mix, such as physical abuse (only one of them did that), love bombing, gaslighting, and other mind games. The last girl who did this to me even had one of her friends manipulate me into believing that everything was fine and that she loved me. He sent me messages on Discord pretending they were written by her, and only later did I realize they were fake and made up on the spot.
Now… yes, I can recognize all of those except the last one. Gaslighting is literally my kryptonite, because lately I barely know what’s real anymore, and my perception of things gets completely messed up when I’m under high stress and anxiety.
That said, my girlfriend and I have already communicated everything openly to each other, and she has shared all her fears with me too. Even so, despite the fact that I trust her a lot…
I’m seriously scared sometimes that she might start loving someone else too, or that she’ll stop loving me and randomly leave me (probably because that’s what happened in my first relationship after just one month). She’s demi and works the same way I do, and I absolutely want to get rid of these thoughts, free myself from the fear and anxiety. I just want to finally love her peacefully the way she deserves, because even though she doesn’t know I have these thoughts, every time they come into my head it feels like stabbing a part of the love she gives me every day.
I’m seeing a psychologist, but it’s not helping… they barely ever follow up with me, and I’ve been going for 8 months and only had 5 sessions. I miss my old psychologist… does anyone have any advice? Even just something to calm me down a bit in those moments. I don’t want to keep tainting the trust I have in this person with these paranoid thoughts.